Stephen Steps Out

My new friend Pamela was able to get me out of my boxer shorts.

I received a message from Pamela on Saturday morning, inviting me to be her guest for the Portland Modern Home Tour, with the offer to ferry me around town & stop for lunch. I had less than an hour until lift off.

My immediate inner-dialogue: “Oh… you don’t want to have to leave the house. You can just stay in my boxer shorts, water the garden, listen to music, smoke,  blog, & touch yourself in that special way. You won’t have to engage with another human being. You would be able to avoid moving out in to the world. You can move into a second day without showering or shaving. You will simply message Pamela & explain that: “I would have loved to have gone on the tour, I love modern architecture, but I didn’t check my messages in time. So very sorry!”’

Just then, the Good Steve tapped me on the shoulder & whispered: “You are such a curmudgeon & quite the hermit! If you say yes, you will have a chance to get to know Pamela better; you will have the opportunity to see inside other people’s homes & get  a look at strangers’  stuff. You can do this. It will be moving forward for you, Steve! You would actually be doing something with a stunning, smart, sly woman.”

I felt better about myself for deciding to accept the chance to have an outing. My inner-voice stated: “Good job, Steve! You don’t even have to do anything but slip into the pile of clothing on the floor beside the bed. You won’t even have to shower or shave, making it a record 3 days with no attempt to present yourself as anything other than the ne'er-do-well that you are…”

Because Pamela is so lovely, but sharp, I actually did wash, groom, iron a fresh shirt, clean jeans, & slip on my grey flannel Jack Purcell’s for our date.

My new friend & I shared easy conversation, full of empathy & inquiry. We made our way to 5 very different modern homes around Portland & I managed to not go through any of the host’s bedside tables or medicine cabinets. I can’t remember the last time I practiced such an extended period of restrained good behavior.

Pamela & I stopped for a perfect summer lunch. On the way to the last house on our list, she gave me a tour of a section of the city that I had never explored along the shoreline of the mighty Columbia River. Our last stop was a floating home. As we left, we noted that the next houseboat, a tiny, funk little spot, was for sale for a very reasonable price. We ended our day with dream of each of us finding a way to have a little getaway on the river, proof that going out into world always forces me to want to spend money & desire property or more stuff.

My new weekend retreat?

Today, after the dogs’ walk, I slipped into just my boxer shorts & spent the day alone in the house & back garden. One adventure every few days is quite enough for this misanthrope & skeptic.