Friday, July 20, 2012

Alexander Was Great




Are you into Greek?

Outside of Jesus Christ, Alexander III of Macedonia is probably the most important figure in Western History. He brought Greek philosophy & thought to the rest of the world in the 4th century B.C. Alexander took his army into Central Asia & then into India. Alexander the Great conquered 90% of the known world & forged an empire stretching from Greece to India by the time of his death at age 32.






The greatest emotional relationship of Alexander's life was with his BFF, general, & bodyguard- Hephaestion, the son of a Macedonian noble & a major hottie. Hephaestion's early death devastated Alexander, sending him into an extended period of grieving, which eventually contributed to Alexander's failing health, & nutty behavior during his final months.

Alexander was a real drama queen, with an impulsive nature, which contributed to some of his questionable decisions during his life. That old queen- Plutarch thought that this part of his personality was the cause of his weakness for cocktails. He was known to frequent happy hours throughout the known world. Alexander was stubborn & did not respond well to being ordered around, a situation that I undertand all too well.. Along with his fiery temperament, there was a calmer side to Alexander; perceptive, logical, & calculating. He had a great thirst for knowledge, a love for philosophy, a big fan of Greek Musical Comedies & he was an avid reader.

Alexander was said to be extremely handsome. Many portraits of him were made in his lifetime. It was recorded that he had a very pleasant body odor & breath, which for the times must have been remarkable… if you know what I mean. He was a major gym bunny who loved strenuous exercise & would often hit the gym. He could jump off & then back on a chariot moving at full speed. His BF- Hephaestion was taller & even more handsome; you know that kind of power couple. The Persian Queen bowed to him instead of Alexander when she was presented to them. Alexander said to the mortified queen "Never mind, Mother, Hephaestion is also Alexander.”

Unfortunately, Hephaestion & Alexander were never able to enjoy their house in The Pines on Fire Island & because they were so busy conquering the world, they were rarely able to use their townhouse in the West Village.






Like Portland, Oregon & other urban hipster centers in the 21st century, sexual attraction between men was considered normal in Classical Greece as well as in Alexander's time. Men of culture & education like Alexander loved beauty… & there was beauty to be ransacked all over the world. Alexander turns 2368 years old today.



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