Words To Live By

" It is absurd to divide people into good & bad.
People are either charming or tedious."
Oscar Wilde

Tuesdays Are For Mondays... And Where Is Skeletor?

Last night I went to see the movie G.I. Joe with my 11 year old son. I tried to talk him into going to see Julia Julia but he was having none of that!

When I was a kid my next door neighbor had all of the G.I.Joe dolls. I had only one-Duke. He was the arch nemesis of my Ken doll and the bad boy in Barbie's Dream Mansion neighborhood. He drove around in a pink convertible and always stole Barbie away from Ken. He couldn't help it-he was a rebel, a loner with a passion for action and a need for speed. Barbie couldn't help but fall for him. She was defenseless to his camouflage pants and his buzz cut and Ken never had a chance with his sweater vests and side-parted plastic hair.

Poor Ken.

Thankfully I had about 50 Barbies and Ken found another mate-he saddled up next to the brunette Barbie, my least favorite of the bunch. I never combed her hair and made her wear the ugly "handmade craft fair clothes" from the bottom of the Barbie closet. Ken must have taken pity on her and they moved into the cardboard shoebox house next to the Dream Mansion and lived on food stamps and government cheese... but I think they were happy, not as happy as Barbie and Duke, but happy nonetheless.

Thank God my Therapist does not know about my blog.

Anyway...

So I went to see G.I. Joe last night and let me just say that I never knew the Joes had such an important mission in the world... but I was highly confused.

First of all... why don't normal people know about these special ops groups with alien like weapons and aircraft that can deflect bullets like rain on a tin roof? I mean, if the general public knew about these things and America just used these resources for the "normal" military... well we would have world domination wouldn't we?

Next... why are there so many girls in this movie? Were there girls in G.I. Joe when we were kids and if that is the case, why wasn't there a G.I. Jane before Demi Moore tried to be a Navy Seal? And what is up with their outfits? Who could fight wearing skin tight silicone and plastic domes for your boobs? I am not even going to mention their hair-the long, thick, flowing hair that looked orgasmic during the fight scenes. I wonder if they use that new hair product by Chaz Dean. If that is the case, I am soooo buying it!

Third... where was Skeletor? My son looked at me and rolled his eyes and said that Skeletor was not part of G.I.Joe, but I must argue this fact because Skeletor was friends with Cobra when I was a kid and they wreaked havoc on my neighborhood... just ask my mother. I mean, if you are going to remake a cartoon from my childhood you need to get it right! Sheesh...

But all in all it was a good movie (the parts that I paid attention to when I was not looking up Wen Hair care products on my cell phone) and they did a good job explaining things-not the way I thought the story came to be when I was a kid, but pretty good.

If they asked me what would have made this movie better, I would have said "A skinny blonde and a pink convertible."


But I will be the first to admit that I like the direction they took the movie in...

Yep.

The Trouble With Poultry

I stood on the Max Train on a recent warm summer morning, on a day when the temperature would eventually inch up to the high 90s. I shared the platform with the Mayor of Portland, who is my neighbor & an acquaintance. He had a briefcase, a backpack & a cloth satchel bag, each looking pretty darn full. He was standing with eyes closed, seeming to be meditating. As I passed him, he looked up & wished me- "good morning, Stephen". I didn’t want to bother him in any way, but he started the chatting, so I asked him- “does your house stay cool on days like this?”, & the Mayor stated that he shuts his house up when it is hot & that it stays cool until he can get home & open up the windows & doors. He then said- “it is weird though… my chickens keep looking at me like this heat is my fault. I think they really suffer even with the shade & water that I provide for them, but they look at me like they are unhappy”. I paused & then retorted- “Mr. Mayor, I don’t think that you should be guilt tripped by POULTRY”. I moved along, so as not to be a bother & to let him get in a bit more meditating before the train arrived & he started another day of running Portland.

99 Miles From L.A.- Time Tripping

Do you know how as song can bring you back to a time, a place, or an era? Certain tunes bring me back to the point that am having a breath of the air, & hearing the sounds from a time when that song was having an impact on my life.

In the early 1970s, while going to college at Loyola Marymount University, I was able to live what I thought was a very quintessential "L.A. lifestyle". I drove a '59 T-Bird, a gift from my father. I lived on the beach in Playa Del Rey, with double sliding glass doors that opened onto white sand beach & the Pacific Ocean; on a clear day I could see Catalina Island. My travels & adventures were almost entirely "beach". I would go to cafes & bars in Venice Beach & Santa Monica. I had a professor that lived & had events at his house in Malibu. My red curly hair turned the color of straw & I became deeply tan. I went to school with & was friends with children of stars. I did cocaine & fooled around with a major sports figure in the bathroom of a very famous producer’s home in the Hollywood Hills. I saw a brand new show from London at The Roxy, with some actor named Tim Curry, called The Rocky Horror Show, which blew my mind. I saw Linda Ronstadt at The Troubadour with Joel Douglas (son of Kirk, brother of Michael). I was doing my L.A. thing & loving it.

I know I should feel a shutter of embarrassment for my love of Johnny Mathis. I think it started at an early age listening to my parent’s record collection. I find this tune, (& I have it by other artists including Art Garfunkel, Julio Iglesias & Nancy Sinatra), is a real little pop gem. I like that it strays from the –“I am so in love with you” format of many pop songs of the era. It has a real melancholy & a sense of the rhythm of driving in a car alone. The music is by Albert Hammond with lyrics by Hal David. The session players on Garfunkel’s version included Toni Tennille, Andrew Gold, Stephen Bishop, Paul Simon, & David Crosby. It was produced by Richard Perry, who I fantasized would produce my first album- Jockstraps & Valium.

This morning, on the MAX train, 99 Miles From L.A. was on my Ipod in shuffle mode. I listened to it 3 times & I had an incredible sense memory trip of being on route 101, heading back to the city & not being able to shake my feelings for some hot dancer guy that I was in a show with. I felt like 1975's Stephen... traveling that experience again, smelling the smells & feeling the feelings of driving towards L.A..

Saturday Birthday Roll Call- August 29th... Born On This Day

Mark Morris is an openly gay dancer, choreographer & director from Seattle. He was long noted for the musicality & power of his dancing as well as his amazing delicacy of movement. His body was heavier than the typical dancer, more like that of an average person, yet his technical & expressive abilities outstripped those of most of his contemporaries. He heads his own company- The Mark Morris Dance Group & he started the White Oak Dance Project with Mikhail Baryshnikov. He has created works for San Francisco Ballet, American Ballet Theatre, Boston Ballet, and the Paris Opera Ballet. Morris has worked extensively in opera, directing & choreographing productions for the Seattle Opera, Metropolitan Opera, the New York City Opera, English National Opera, & the Royal Opera House. I always appreciated him for his many accomplishments, although he did not have the body or disposition of a typical dancer. My favorite work by Mr. Morris is his fantastic ballet based on The Nutcracker- Hard Nut, which has been broadcast on PBS.



Ingrid Bergman: beautiful, talented, & controversial star of stage & screen. She won 3 Oscars, two Emmys, & a Tony Award for Best Actress in the first Tony Award ceremony in 1947. She is ranked as the fourth greatest female star of American cinema of all time by the American Film Institute. She is widely remembered for her performance as Ilsa Lund in Casablanca (1942). My favorite performance was her Oscar winning turn in Murder On the Orient Express (1974).

While still married to Dr. Petter Lindström, she became pregnant by Italian director Roberto Rossellini, with whom she was filming The pregnancy caused a huge scandal in the United States. It even led to Bergman being denounced on the floor of the U.S. Senate by Edwin C. Johnson, who referred to her as "a horrible example of womanhood & a powerful influence for evil", there was a floor vote, which resulted in her being made persona non grata. The scandal forced Ingrid Bergman to exile herself to Italy. During Bergman's time in Italy, anger over her private life had continued unabated in the United States, with Ed Sullivan, at one point infamously polling his TV show audience as to whether she should be permitted to appear on his show. Although the audience was mostly in favor, Ed declined to book her. Steve Allen then booked her on his show opposite Sullivan, & answered critics by stating "If it became a principle to keep off TV those performers who have been guilty of adultery, then I am very much afraid that a great many of your favorite programs would disappear." She is, of course, the mother of beautiful & talented Isabella Rosselinni.




Dinah Washington is a life long favorite recording artist of mine. Her penetrating voice, perfect timing & crystal clear enunciation added her own distinctive style to every piece she performed. She made extraordinary recordings in jazz, blues, R&B & pop genres. Washington refused to record gospel music despite her obvious talent for singing it. She believed it was wrong to mix the secular & the spiritual. During the time that she was doing club dates & Las Vegas, she would have to enter through back doors & service entrances because of her color. Washington was married 7 times & had many lovers, including a young Quincy Jones, who at the time was her arranger. She died from an accidental overdose at age 39. What A Difference A Day Makes remains in my top 20 all time favorite recordings. The Husband & I saw a very well done play based on her life- Dinah Was, Off- Broadway in 1998. How about this amazing clip of Dinah doing I Don't Hurt Anymore?

New Music...The Avett Brothers

I love the rootsy sound of the Avett Brothers from North Carolina. There is no harmony like brotherly harmony. Something special in the weave of voices & the play of sensibilities is stamped into the fraternal DNA & also comes from a lifetime of shared experiences. You can hear it in classic brother acts across the musical spectrum, from the Louvin Brothers to the Everly Brothers & through the decades with the Wilson brothers (Beach Boys), the Davies brothers (Kinks), the Finn brothers (Crowded House) & even the Brothers Gibb (The Bee Gees).
I love this song with its references to Brooklyn & the wondeful title refrain- I & Love & You.

Happy Birthday, Pee Wee!!!

I have missed him so much. I can not articulate how much happiness he has brought to my life. I would tape his Saturday morning show- Pee Wee's Playhouse (remember VHS?) every week & his 2 movies had repeat viewings with my family. His absurd arrest for child porno, based on kitchy work from decades past (plus Rob Lowe's sex tape) were eventually be dismissed, but he career never recovered. Don't you think it is time for some more Pee Wee? He is needed more than ever.

Today is the birthday of his creator- the amazingly talented Paul Reubens.

Drunk Peaches?? Yes please.

Hold. The. Freaking. Phone. I just found out that you can actually can fruit IN booze. IN SUGARY BOOZE. I could have put this whole batch of peaches under brandy??? Uh muh gawd. This creates a whole new purpose for my life. I am going to souse up a WHOLE bunch of fruits. A whole bunch, you guys- you don't even know.

I am envisioning them right now sitting in my storage room, seasoning and absorbing up all that brandy and rum over the months. I'm gonna pour it all on ice cream.

Here I was getting in a tizzy over dilling up some carrots. Well. Pshaw. I think I'm going to inebriate some cherries instead, thankyouverymuch.

Carry on.

Do you think preserving beets in whiskey would be too much?

Look at these cans.

Ha. I can so can food. Take that, naysayers. Take that, people who refused to believe in my waterbath method of canning abilities. All of you people who said that I couldn't do it were soooooo WRONG. My jars are totally sealing and everything. I can hear the lids do that little pop thing that I loved to hear as a child adult child when my Mom was done canning stuff. Pop Pop Pop PoP pOp poP Wheeeeee!!!!! That's how you know the jars are sealed, dummies.

So anyhow, canning is a lot of work, I had no idea. Now that I've preserved all these tomatoes, I just want to lock them inside of an enclosed and impenetrable display and threaten the life of anyone who thinks they're going to open them and waste all of that work, unless they have submitted an appropriate 1000 word essay on how much they appreciate my cans.

What.

I'm totally Sally Homesquawker or whatever.

RIP

"He changed the circumstances of 10s of millions of Americans. Literally." Joe Biden

Today our country lost one of the greatest legislators in our history. Edward M. Kennedy was an extremely affective senator for his state of Massachusetts, & he was a great friend to the disenfranchised, poor, women & minorities including gay people. He was truly the LION OF THE SENATE. He will be missed. I love the picture of the 3 Kennedy Brothers. I like to think of them as together again.

Dominick Dunne's diary, published in Vanity Fair from 1984- 2008, was one of my favorite reads. His glimpses into the lives of the rich & famous & his first hand accounts of famous trials including the Menendez Brothers, William Kennedy Smith & Phil Spector made for riveting reading. He did profiles for the magazine of Robert Mapelthorpe, Elizabeth Taylor & Warren Beatty, among many, many others. He wrote numerous novels & collections of essays & he produced plays, TV & movies. At one point in his life his use of drugs & alcohol & his life in Hollywood became unmanageable & he moved & lived alone in a cabin in the woods of Oregon, where he got sober & started writing again at age 50. His son Griffin is an actor, director & producer. Another son Alex lives here in Portland. The picture is of him with his brother writer John Gregory Dunne, his sister-in-law writer Joan Didion & son Griffin.

6-Year-Olds Should Be In Charge Of National Defense...

I have a 6 year old.

I know...

I can hear the gasps through the Internet.

You are sitting there thinking to yourself, "June! You don't look old enough to have a 6 year old."

You are too kind.

Stop-you are making me blush.

I do have a 6 year old and anyone who is anyone knows that 6 year olds are a breed of their own.

They are too young to send to military school and too smart to know that when you threaten them with military school they know that you are bluffing....

Because all they have to do is smile at you and it is all over.

The memories of them being little babies and smelling so sweet is too fresh in the mind of a mother of a 6 year old that it is virtually impossible to stay mad at them for any offense they may have thrown your way.

But before you know it they are up to something else and by the end of the day you are ready to string them up from their toenails... only to be laughing at them again when they say something witty and profound.

Why does this happen? Why do little people go from being cute and cuddly when they are five to rascally and devilish when they are six?

And where do they get their little sassy mouth from?

I don't talk like that! Honest... I have never turned to my children and said "Yeah, well if you don't let me go first I won't be your friend anymore." and then stick my tongue out at them.

If my children took the time to listen to me they would say things like "Mommy, you are so beautiful." or "Mommy, you look so skinny today!"

Those are the kinds of things that I said to my mom when I was 6 because I was the perfect child. Mhm... perfect.

I never threatened to run away and have my own mother pack my bags and toss me out on the back porch, and I NEVER complained when my mother asked me to go get her something while she napped on the couch only to have her hug me for doing the chore and then smack me in the face for complaining about it.

Nope-I was the perfect 6 year old child and my mother will attest to this... just make sure you ask her after she has had her little nip of wine in the evening.

A-hem.

*It needs to be said that the above picture is not my child. My children are much cuter. I am not going to say who's child this is, but I will say that she gets her sweet disposition from her mother.*

gratuitious...

This is one of many reasons that I like going to Sauvie Island in the summer.

Mistaken Identity

Does this person even look like she would break my glasses into smithereens five minutes before leaving the rockstar bus for the airport? Of course not. Clearly it was someone else.

New Friends

The Husband & I welcomed my fellow blogger- distinguished Will & his handsome husband Fritz, from New Hampshire, for wine & dinner in the Boys' Fort last evening. I am a daily follower of Will's interesting & entertaining blog DesignerBlog. I thought it would be fascinating to put the 4 us together: 2 couples with a lifetime of acting, directing & designing for theatre. I had made a joke on their arrival, that on paper it seemed that Will & Steve were 2 American guys with our Teutonic lovers- Rolfe & Fritz. I drove the boys to see the St. Johns Bridge, my favorite structure in Portland, while the Husband put together a dinner of Caprese Salad & Rice Cakes with asparagus & shitakes. We sipped, or rather they sipped & I gulped a bottle of Willamette Valley Pinot Gris. We talked & shared stories to candlelight until it was way past all the bedtimes for men of a certain age. Will is the first fellow blogger that have met in person & it was a lovely evening. How fun to meet another couple from the other side of our country & to make a connection. Will & Fritz were here to see their brand new granddaughter & family, but I am pleased they made time for a couple of old dudes.

Will has a passion for Opera, while I have only a passing interest, but for my new friend, here is my favorite aria-"Ebben, ne andro Lontano" from Le Wally.

One More From Elvis Costello

I have spent a number of rainy days with a little whiskey & conjuring up some tears because of this impossibly beautiful & angry song by Costello & Burt Bacharach... literally asking for God to give me strength, including the day that our first dog- Baby died in 1998.

Happy Birthday to Elvis Costello!

In sheer number of albums, the artists best represented in my music collection would be Tony Bennett, Frank Sinatra, The Police & Sting, Van Morrison, but the top of the heap would be Elvis Costello. I was crazy about him from the first listening, which would have been Alison from My Aim Is True in 1977. Declan Patrick MacManus was born on this day in 1954. He is one of my most favorite & important musicians, with much of his music speaking personally to me. Elvis Costello is married to jazz artist Diana Krall. He has straddled the genres of punk, new wave, rock, pop, pub rock, traditional Irish, classical/symphonic, art song, country & soundtracks. He certainly has been prolific with 37 albums in 32 years. I used to sing Alison for auditions for shows with rock scores, & I modestly have to say that I think it is one of my best numbers. I admire his songwriting skills & I am zany for his singing with the hoarse little catch in his voice. Favorites are too hard to narrow down, but: Watching The Detectives, Shipbuilding (with trumpet solo by Chet Baker!), Almost Blue, A Good Year For the Roses, Everyday I Write The Book, She, & God Give Me Strength. I could rhapsodize on & on, but I will just share one with you. This is the best cover of a country song ever!



And, of course, Alison: (but you really should hear me do it sometime. Just ask.)

Born On This Day- August 25th... The Great Leonard Bernstein

In the beautiful New England spring of 1972, I appeared as The Street Singer in a production of The Three Penny Opera at Harvard. At the same time Leonard Bernstein was giving a series of lectures at his Alama Mater named – The Unanswered Question. Always absorbing & frequently brilliant, Leonard Bernstein's The Unanswered Question were comprehensible & persuasive discussions of music's history & forms, with particular emphasis modern music. They addressed the average intelligent listener who is not musically trained but wants to know what makes music work & what is meant, for example, by "tonal" and "atonal." It required some concentration, but Bernstein, a superb teacher, kept technical terms to a minimum, illustrating what he meant with musical examples. I was lucky enough to go to two of the six lectures, being invited by the maestro after he thrillingly talked to me & gave me advice about singing Kurt Weill’s songs in Three Penny when he attended a dress rehearsal. I already understood his place in music history, especially for his music for West Side Story, On The Town & Wonderful Town & Candide. I didn’t expect to find him so totally sexy & hot, but then, I often find men who are talented to be sexy. I loved Jewish men, especially charismatic, one of a kind major 20th century talents, with a flowing mane of hair & the ability to look me in the eye & touch my hand while telling me what he thought I was getting right & what I was missing in my performance. I went home that night simply swooning & with dreams of being the lover of one of history’s most important musical figures.

He may well be more famous among the general public than any other conductor before or since. He wrote 3 symphonies, 2 operas, 5 musicals, a mass, & numerous other pieces. Throughout the 1960s, 70s & 80s, Leonard Bernstein was undoubtedly the most visible proponent of classical music in American culture. Through his outgoing personality & resourceful uses of the media, particularly television, Bernstein introduced 'highbrow' culture into the homes of middle America, while also defending rock & roll as 'real' music & supporting radical causes. In spite of Bernstein's speaking out for unpopular causes- he was outspoken on civil rights & Vietnam, he was, for much of his career, unwilling to risk exposure of his homosexuality. Indeed, the social mores of the 1950s & 1960s meant that revealing his homosexuality would undoubtedly have destroyed the celebrity & influence he had attained. Later in life & after the death of his wife in 1978, Bernstein became quite open about his sexuality. He left behind an unprecedented amount of recordings & videos, leaving us with a legacy to be experienced for generations to come, & the memory of one 19 year old boy who melted at having been in his presence. My crush on him never diminished.


Patti Lupone & Kristen Chenoweth doing Glitter & Be Gay from Candide.

Men I am Zany For #10

Johnny Depp is sexy because he is so talented, & well... just because he is so sexy. His upcoming film is Tim Burton's Alice In Wonderland as the Mad Hatter. Have you seen the production pictures? Wow! This movie might be really luscious. Mr. Depp sure is.
He is one of the most versatile of actors & I admire a guy who is versatile. My favorite performance- as J. M. Barry in Finding Neverland.


Unforced All-American masculinity + true acting chops = yummy. Upcoming film is the romantic comedy Love Happens. My favorite performance- Thank You For Smoking.


My secret lover Jake Gyllenhaal causes my heart to flutter. His upcoming film is David O. Russell's Nailed. My favorite performance- the night together at The Chateau Marmont & he is underrated work in Brokeback Mountain. But, has given a bad performance? In development- Damn Yankees.

Born On This Day- August 24th... Mika!

Birthday boy Mika's album Life in Cartoon Motion was the soundtrack for my summer of 2007. I am really looking forward to the Lebanese born, British musicians next album The Boy Who Knew Too Much, which arrives in the States on September 22nd. Adorable.

A Thunderstorm in my Pants.

I don't even know why I've been hit with the urge to start writing blogs at 1:20 am in the morning (I just wrote moron instead of morning by the way- the typo is relevant)- but I have. This very night while sleeping on the hide-a-bed in my parents new motorhome, I woke out of a pointless dream about west edmonton mall with an overpowering urge to spill my ideas all over the internet like so much beer from a shaken bottle.. I think you should wear protective eyewear. Anyhow, like most summers I haven't had much time for the interwebs and my tv-typewriter. We've been traveling since the 3rd of July, not that there hasn't been a veritable well full of morons and weird experiences to draw from for blogging... I haven't been able to get it all down for all fifty of my adoring blog subscribers to pour over every single minute of the day. I am sorry. I'm almost home where I won't have to explain to any extended family members why I am taking pictures of their things and putting them on the internet (No Mom, I SWEAR it's not for ebay).

Thought #1 is about motorhomes. Recreational vehicles. Motorized campers. My parents' new rockstar bus. While my Dad is truly the most generous and hilarious of all men who ever lived and without a doubt is right up there with Jimi Hendrix hisself in my book of who is awesome- I admit that I had one disagreeable thought while standing with my arse wedged against the table so as not to teeter over while holding a knife when I was making him a ham sandwich (from an actual roasted ham which my parents naturally brought along for the trip) in the moving vehicle not 5 minute after taking off in said rockstar bus (after sitting in a parking lot for 30 minutes where I could have made a sandwich without saying any prayers for my safety or wishing for a helmet), my Mom happily buzzing away making coffee... in the moving vehicle. Firstly, let us reflect on the fact that at the best of times, I am liable to fall onto a knife while trying to make a sandwich on solid ground. I have budget agility genes. My parents cheaped out on the graceful genes, since I'm their last kid. They think it's funny that all the good balance genes got used up before they got to me. In fact, I think I saw him snicker at me while I was staggering around the motorhome making the sandwich, is what I'm getting at.... I think it was all to get back at me for getting pregnant when I was a teenager.

Thought # 2 is on brain tumors. I hate them. For a while, I wasn't sure if I should feel thankful that my 16 year old niece got into an accident and got the scan that accidentally revealed that she has a large mass growing on her lovely brainstem or if I should be angry at God for putting it there to begin with. I have decided that I will focus on neither of those things- since why it is there is entirely not the point, it just is there. So I will put all of that energy toward thinking about what an awesome person she is and praying for her to recover quickly and wholly from the surgeries that she is facing this week- and also to buy her as many presents as possible and hope that she gets royally spoiled hopelessly and shamefully rotten for the next few months that she recovers from this. Take that, tumor.

Thought #3 It's time to go back to sleep. Sleeping in a motorhome is weird. I can hear my mother snoring, my son talking in his sleep and the baby is farting. So this is what it's like to live in one of those mud huts with your entire family... and by mud hut I mean rockstar bus with leather couches and a double fridge full of beer and Sunny-D. I'm going to shove my ipod back down the side of my underpants for safe keeping because I don't have a pocket- and listen to soothing gentle thunderstorms. There is some information for you. I have a thunderstorm in my pants. And Bob Dylan. And the baby is farting. File that under "Didn't wanna know".

More thoughts later. In fact, tomorrow I plan to add pictures to this blog. Not of my ipod, mind. Right now I'm too tired.

Cheers.

Happiness Is A Warm Gun

In the summer of 1991, I did a film in which I had a very juicy part. It was really the best film role I had been cast in at that point. Too bad the film turned out to be so bad that it went straight to video. Still, it was very fun to play a character that kills several people, gets hog-tied to a log over a stream in the woods & then dies from a booby-trapped stack of logs. Really. The film- Edge Of Honor starred Corey Feldman ( who was behaving very badly), Don Swayze (brother of Patrick), & the very talented Ken Jenkins. I played a white supremacist who kills a group of Boy Scout’s that had stumbled onto his cache of weapons.

I have always been anti-gun. As a vegetarian, I find the notion of hunting difficult to comprehend. I grew up with guns, locked in a cabinet & I was never even vaguely interested. I believe in strict gun control while recognizing the 2nd amendment to our Constitution (with its controversies & ambiguities). So, I needed to find some strength of character to deal with the fact that I would be using real firearms for the filming. I had, of course, lied at the audition & had told the casting director that I was very familiar with using guns (I once had boasted that I knew how to fly a helicopter at an audition, thinking I could learn to fly before filming began, if I were cast).

On a union (SAG) film set, there is a gun wrangler who keeps, maintains, & handles the firearms. They are placed in the actor's hand before the camera rolls & taken from them the moment the director says “cut”. My wrangler taught me how to handle & fire a rifle so that it would appear that I knew what I was doing. I had a half day of shooting lessons. After decades of freely giving my opinion about the evil of guns in our country, when it came time to actually use one, I pulled that trigger, felt the kick back against my shoulder, heard the noise made by the blank… & I was thrilled. Really thrilled. I spent 10 days of filming looking forward to every moment with my gun. I wanted to touch it & hold it. It made me feel really sexy. I loved my gun. When filming was over I made a promise to myself to take lessons & continue to practice at a firing range. but, when I returned to my civilian life, I quickly forgot my love for my gun & returned to my liberal peacenik- ban the guns persona. Actually, that is a good thing. As a guy that is given to total outrage, I don't need to be holding a weapon. Trust me on this one.

New Music

Brazilian music, of all genres, is a favorite of mine & I have a fairly large collection. One of my all time top 5 favorite songs is Águas de Março by Antonio Carlos Jobim. I collect covers of that particular song. I think that the album- Francis Albert Sinatra & Antonio Carlos Jobim is as close to a perfect album as I have ever encountered…especially on a late summer evening. Some of my favorite recording artists from Brazil: Astrud Gilberto, João Gilberto, Sergio Mendes, Bebel Gilberto, Vinicius Cantuária, Gilberto Gil, Seu Jorge, & especially Caetano Veloso.

I have new favorite. In the world of Brazilian music Otto occupies a place as unusual & unlikely as his name. Born- Otto Maximiliano Pereira de Cordeiro Ferreira, he combines the textures of electronica with the traditional African derived rhythms he first heard growing up in a small town in the interior. I am digging this. BOB is a moody, atmospheric bossa nova with a fresh unusual sound.

Words To Live By From Dorothy Parker

Four of the things I'd been better without:
Love, Curiosity, Freckles & Doubt.

You're Gonna Hear From Me

I had made a personal challenge to do a blog post a day. I missed yesterday & I let myself off the hook. I can often be a disappointment to myself, but I had started my day at 4am & I returned home 12.5 hours later. It was not the birthday of anyone I cared to note & I just was not up for telling a story from my past or passing on my musings about music, movies, books or hot men. I had some interesting things put out to me about Post Apocalyptic Bohemian in the last day or two. It had been commented on that I might get a bit too raunchy or unnecessarily bawdy in my posts, but I am basically a bad boy & Goddamn it, you motherfucking cocksucking shitheads…it is my blog! Hmmm... do I need to censor myself? Another comment was made that I just seem to LOVE, LOVE, LOVE everything. This is not true. I am very complicated & very opinionated & I have done a few posts on things I dislike & piss me off, but when I started this blog it was meant to be a way to mark & celebrate the things, people, events & culture that I love.



I had a Manhattan, (alright, I had 2) at my favorite neighborhood watering hole & I started to think: What were the all the many things, especially cultural things, that shaped who I am in my deep middle-age. I have shared many of these with readers, including this week’s post about music in my childhood. Thanks to all who commented. Bloggers love to get comments.



At 11 years old, my parents were not interested in censoring what I saw (within reason) & they never shied away from taking me to movies or plays that were intended for adults. My first play was South Pacific with Janet Blair, in Chicago, at 5 years old. For some reason I was fascinated by all the sailors with their shirts off. A film that had a very big influence on me was a movie my parents took me to see at a drive-in theatre in summer 1965. At 11 years old, I saw Inside Daisy Clover & it had a profound impact on me. This film started a lifetime love of & fascination with the stage, TV & film actress Ruth Gordon. In no small way has she been an influence on me. One of her 3 volumes of memoirs contains a quote that I have always held close to me. By the way, the parents would take me to see Who’s Afraid Of Virginia Wolfe the next summer. I watched Inside Daisy Clover from the very back of our station wagon & I was enthralled. I have seen it at least once a decade since, & that is a lot of decades. Now, I am not sure that I find Inside Daisy Clover to be a quality film, but it certainly blew my little gay 11 year old mind.

Inside Daisy Clover takes place in the 1930s & was based on a novel by Gavin Lambert & brought to the screen by the producing-directing team of Alan J. Pakula & Robert Mulligan. In addition to Wood, the film stars Robert Redford (in an important early role) as a charismatic, homosexual movie star, Christopher Plummer as the tyrannical head of “ Swan Studios,” Roddy McDowall as Swan’s attaché, & Ruth Gordon as Daisy’s eccentric mother. The film received mixed reviews but has become a cult classic for its terrific score by Andre Previn, vivid performances & cynical depiction of Hollywood’s Golden Age.

Daisy Clover (Natalie Wood) goes from teenage girl (she was actually 27 playing 14) to movie star practically overnight when her demented mother (Ruth Gordon in an Oscar nominated performance) enters her voice in a talent search contest. She lives in a broken-down carnival on the Santa Monica Pier, & in no time at all she is attending glamorous Hollywood parties. But Daisy soon learns that misery & pain go along with fame & fortune. Before Daisy completes her first film, the studio execs have her mother committed to an asylum without permission. Daisy tries to find happiness in a series of unfulfilled romances. She has a single day marriage to Wade Lewis (Robert Redford) leaving her alone & divorced. After her mother dies, Daisy has a nervous breakdown & refuses to work, but the cold hearted studio head threatens her with starvation if she does not report back to the soundstage. This is a story of a Hollywood dream that turns into a nightmare. It made me frightened, but thrilled at wanting to be a star.

The Writing Is On The Wall... Part 2

As a vegetarian of 25+ years, what am I to make of this?

Fun With Architecture

I really enjoy this apartment in a drawer in Denmark. I think the design is first rate & the pull-out function is zany, but I think I would enjoy living there. I wish my house could be pulled-out for easy cleaning. What a great way to get rid of dog hair; with 2 terriers, I sweep & vacuum enough hair each day, to make an entire new dog.

Under The Covers... Happy Birthday, Musician Jamie Cullum

Here is another cover that I really dig. Birthday boy Jamie Cullum is an English jazz singer & pianist who turns 30 today. I have seen him live & Jamie puts on quite a show. This is his take on Coldplay's High & Dry.

There's No Crying In Baseball!

Have you ever had one of those days when you just want to cry?

I have those all the time-as a matter of fact, I would like to cry right now but I won't because then my nose will start running and I will have to go fetch a tissue and I am all comfy on my couch... so comfy that I could cry.

See, it is a vicious cycle.

I have a friend who says that you are only allowed to cry if there is blood.

That may be the reason why I always feel the urge to cry when I am on my period. Blood is blood right-no one said it had to be a self inflicted wound-or even a wound that you inflict upon someone else... hmmm?

So last night I was home alone and for some reason I felt like crying.

I decided to have a party all by myself and it ended up being a pity party. Some people (men) may think that pity parties are silly. Some people (men) may think that pity parties are useless. Some people (men) may even think that pity parties are for the weak and powerless.

But I say O contraire mon frere!

I think crying is an amazing release. It is kind of like on Thanksgiving when you eat your weight in mashed potatoes, gravy, stuffing and turkey and you need to either burp or fart in order to make room for the pumpkin pie with whipped cream.

There is nothing like a good cry to put your life back into perspective.

Someone talking about you and you can't violate your probation? Cry.

Dairy Queen stop making the Brownie Batter Blizzard because it was only around for a month? Cry.

Your neighbor's dog take a crap in your front yard and you step in it when you are mowing? Cry.

Go to the store for a gallon of milk and come home with three bags of crap that cost over $100 and somehow forget to buy the milk? Cry.

Need to go to an appointment that you are late for and as you rush into your car with your hair on fire and your temper a blazin' and look down and see that you are out of gas? Cry.

Lose your keys? Cry.

Lose the elastic in your favorite bra? Cry.

Lose the remote and have to get up and turn the channel-only you have one of those TVs that will only work if you have the remote? Cry.

Get out of the shower only to realize that you forgot to put a towel in the bathroom and you have to walk through the house, down the hall and in front of a picture window in order to get to the linen closet for a fresh one and no less than 5 people see you naked-including the mailman through the picture window? Cry.

Forget to take a DVD back to the library for a month and have a $30 fine for Barbie's Princess Tea? Cry.

Going out on the weekend and find that your lucky panties are in the laundry (oh, you know as well as I do that we all have that one pair of panties that are our favorites-don't deny it)? Cry.

Rearrange your schedule, bathe the kids, get them in bed and put your pj's on so you can watch your favorite television show in quiet and comfort only to find that every channel has the Presidential Address on it? Cry.

Honestly crying could be the answer for just about anything in life. It is good and I bet it saves a lot of women from winding up on the program "Snapped-Women Who Kill" on the Biography channel.

So go ahead and cry! Let it out. You'll feel better I promise... I know about these kind of things.

3 Hotties Have Birthdays On This Hot Day.

William Jefferson Clinton remains my favorite president, despite DADT & DOMA. I am afraid I would had to have given him head if I had been an intern. Powerful men can be very sexy. President Bill Clinton turns 63 today & I still think he is hot. His wife recently reminded the world that she is Secretary of State... not him!
"Being President is like running a cemetery; you've got a lot of people under you & nobody is listening."


Broadway, TV & film actor & singer Peter Gallagher celebrates his 54 birthday by remaining smokin' hot.






Yummy, yummy John Stamos gets better with age. A star on Broadway & TV, & occasional drummer for The Beach Boys; today he turns 46.

High Fidelity

What was the first album that you ever purchased?
I love music more than anything in my life that is not a person or a dog. My first listening was my parents' record collection which I loved. I felt free to listen to & dig through their large LP selections. My favorites by age 6 were Dinah Washington, Rosemary Clooney, Bobby Darin & Nat King Cole. I was crazy for thier Broadway musicals including South Pacific, The Music Man & My Fair Lady. I thrilled to carefully taking the record from its sleeve & placing it on the black rubber turntable pad. I would push the button on the gears would engage with a whir & the tonearm would magically lower to the outermost groove of the record. How did it know? My first stereo of my very own (age 8) was an RCA portable, all in one unit with detachable speakers, that sat on a table beside my bed. By the time I was in high school, I thought bigger was better (in more than one way) & I had Yamaha amplifier with Thechnics turntable & 4 big enough to be furniture speakers by Genesis, that were placed in each corner of my room.

My first album that I bought with my own money was Meet The Beatles. The Husband says that his first, with money earned from baby sitting, was the Original Cast recording of West Side Story & housemate T says that his was Little Criminals by Randy Newman because of the song- Short People (he still likes his men short). In my high schools years I had every musical i could find including hard to find Original Casts of Goldilocks (Elaine Stritch & Don Ameche), Greenwillow (Tony Perkins), Salad Days, Cindy, & Henry, Sweet Henry. I had Hello, Dolly! with Carol Channing, Mary Martin, Ethel Merman & the Japanese & Swedish casts. How could my parents not know that I was gay? I also really listened to a lot of Bread, Cat Stevens, Carole King, Joni Mitchell, James Taylor, & Carly Simon... plus the constant rotation of Godspell, Company & Follies. Forty years ago today, I was listening to Joy To The World by 3 Dog Night, I Feel The Earth Move by Carole King, You've Got A Friend by James Taylor, What's Going On by Marvin Gaye, & Gypsies, Tramps & Thieves by Cher.

I lost most of my albums to Mt. St. Helen's eruption. I was living, with the future Husband (then the boyfriend) in Spokane & the ash from the volcano was mid-calf deep & it got into everything, including our LPs. The dust actually got into the sleeves & made cuts into the records' grooves. I then went to cassettes & eventually CDs. Now, I almost exclusively download my music & I listen with little tiny earbuds (which sounds so Van Gough-ish) on a device the size of a credit card.

Vacation Started At 8:05 This Morning...

Today is the day that many a mom does a happy little jig in the kitchen to herself and then opens up the fridge and eats half of the contents in one sitting because she can.

Today is the day that many a mom will be able to sit on the toilet without having an audience of small people.

Today is the day that many a mom will be able to get back to the gym and take a shower by herself.

Today is the day that many a mom will go to the store-any store-alone and not have to leave without buying anything because a six year old is sprawled out on the floor of the cereal aisle kicking and screaming over Lucky Charms.

Today is the day that many a mom will bask in the fact that she does not have to yell things like "Don't hit your sister!" "Who left the milk out on the counter?" or even "Why is there a chainsaw in your bedroom?"

Yes ladies... today is your day. Run free! Take off your bra and walk through the house singing show tunes if you want-you are living on your time now. Your agenda. Your own freakin' schedule!

Just make sure you are back to normal by 11:40 a.m. because some yahoo on the school board thinks it is a good idea to "ease" kids into the first day of school and only give them a half day.

Pffft.

I am sure the school board is either made up entirely of men or women who only have high schoolers left in the house who can drive themselves and keep their own rooms clean. Communists.

It is a conspiracy I tell you... a C.O.N.S.P.I.R.A.C.Y.

But I can't worry about that right now-I have to decide if I want to clean all the toilets in my house and vacuum before 11:40 or if I want to organize my 11 year old son's bedroom.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

I crack myself up-clean the toilets! Now that is funny right there!

Monday Swoon Three-Peat...

What do you get when you cross a good-looking actor and three summer box office hits? You get Eric Bana on the NEW and IMPROVED Monday Swoon-which is NOT under new management, and well, okay... it has not been improved much, but he was around so much this summer that I thought it only logical that he gets the HIGH HONORS of being the first Swoon in a long time. Congratulations Mr. Bana-I am sure you have no idea what this is about to do for your career-but rumor has it that if you are ever featured on the Monday Swoon your life is about to get very good, very fast. Look at Matthew McConaughey-he is a regular feature on the Swoon and his career is BOOMING with hits such as "The Ghosts of Girlfriends Past."



Hmmm... maybe that was a bad example.



Anyway, Eric Bana was in three, count em' THREE movies this summer. I know. WOW!



When he called the Six-Pack to let me know about his latest movie (What? You don't believe me that Eric Bana calls me? Pffft, whatever. I have my delusions, you have yours.) He told me I would really like it, not only because I had read the book but also because he is costarring with one of my favorite actresses of all times Rachel McAdams. I love her in any film she does... one word for you "The Notebook."



Okay, that was two words, but still...



Eric is from Australia. HELLO? Accent! And look at his jawline... they just don't make jawlines like that anymore. I am sure some of you will comment and say "Oh but June the DO make jawlines like that still... my husband has a jawline like that and I just love it!" Well, good for you-but does your husband have this jawline AND a Australian accent? I didn't think so, so back off!







You know what I like most about this book turned movie turned back into a book that is on the 30% off self at Target? The character's names. Clare and Henry.



Sigh.



Those are both great names, and Eric Bana looks just like a Henry doesn't he?

Moving on...

Many moons ago at the beginning of summer-or maybe it was spring, my son (who is not only a member of the angry-boy syndrome but he is the President!) dragged me to see the Sci-Fi geek movie Star Trek.

When the movie was over I told my son that I loved him more than I love m&m blizzards for making me go see this flick. Why you ask? Because Eric Bana plays the bad guy Nero. I didn't even know it was Eric because he had shaved off all of his thick brown wavy hair and had tattoos all over his face.

Some would think that was frightening and creepy.

Not me. Nope.

I think ink on the face may be the next NEW thing don't you? It says something doesn't it?

It says "I am a bad guy and I am never going to be a good guy so if you get mixed up with me just prepare yourself to have a bad guy on your hands at all times. A guy who doesn't *^$% around and ain't afraid to bleed."

Yeah, I'm thinking I like face tattoos... if only for fashion sake.

Phew. Hard to stop looking at those face tattoos isn't it?

Mr. Bana once again switches gears and is in a movie that I have yet to see but really want to because it has Eric Bana in it and he was on the Monday Swoon over at June Cleaver After a Six-Pack... Hey! Wait a minute!

Anyway, he is in Funny People with-funny people. This is a must-see girls because he is speaking in his native tongue in this one. Oh yeah. So when he says his lines you have to squint your eyes and tilt your good ear toward the big screen and then turn to your friend sitting next to you and say "What did he say" to which she will respond, "I don't know... was he saying something?" and you will say "Yes, something about being as dry as a dead dingos donger... whatever that means." and she will say "What? a dead dingo's what?" and then you will loudly say "DONGER." and then the people behind you will shush you and you will turn around and tell them it is a free country and before you know it you are kicked out of the movie theater like a 13 year old boy and you will never know just what Eric Bana was talking about!

Sigh. Damn accents.

But at least you will be able to look at his forearms.

mhm.

And... AND... he is in this movie with ANOTHER of my favorite actresses Leslie Mann. He sure knows how to pick his co-stars doesn't he? Or is it that my favorite actresses know how to keep the Six-Pack happy and pick really good leading men.

I vote for door #2.

Hmmm, what else can be said about Eric Bana....

I can't think of anything can you?

Yeah... I think we covered it all.

Eric Bana with hair

Eric Bana is a good Henry

Eric Bana bald

Eric Bana with face ink

Eric Bana accent

Eric Bana forearms

Eric Bana leading man

What I am missing?

Oh yes... now I remember.