Zombie Piano Blog Header.

Neily drew me a zombie piano. A ZOMBIE PIANO. Our love will never die, and if it does, it'll just come back and eat your brains and the brains of your stolen horse.

Ooooh... that's good.. I'm writing that into our wedding vows.

Left to Right.

Baboon, Baboonpossumrat, smoking baboon, marker, foot

Sumo brother on the set of Titanic, bullets, pictures of barely legal cats, that sort of thing.

My favourite snapshot of my oldest brother from when he was a temp for Kate Winslet.

-I've been painting pictures of shoes. Nothing worthy to be seen as of yet. Or maybe ever.
-My tattoo feels like the world's largest mosquito bite. It will never stop being itchy. I must will it to be scratched. Or buy gold bold itching powder. Probably I won't do that.
-I cheese grated my thumbnail half off in my attempt to make perfect lasagne today. It wasn't supposed to be part of it. MmMmm bloody cheese...
-I am kind of blue lately. Not like Avatar, because then I'd be depressed. Just meh.

-I like it when I'm eating my McDonalds salad in the parking lot while waiting for my kids to get out of school and I slop salad dressing down the front of myself, only to discover that it all landed on the seat belt. SCORE! It's the little things, people.
-OoH also lookie! 100 subscribers! (Until one of you unsubscribe because this entry S U C K S.) Don't punish me, internet.
-Its my birthday in less than a month. Gross.

Don't unsubscribe! Here are some more erratic photos:Smarties the harlot kitty lookin' for a man-cat. Lookin' good, Smarties. Flaunt it while you got it. Because you're getting spayed. Buuuurn.

Funniest movie ever.

Some tapes in a junk store that I went into on the weekend. Every single one sucked.

The lasagna that I made for dinner tonight.

My older sister and I. About 1980.

Me on my tricycle with E.T. Rockin' the red pants. 1983/84ish

I tried random stranger chat. I think I failed. I guess I'll have to keep talking to real people who I actually know. *sigh* They always know when I'm lying about how I have my own bee-shooting gun. (It shoots bees at people. Especially bad guys.)

Stay out of this tiny, concrete, hundred year old culvert/drainage pipe, Everyone.

Some of my thoughts, each in 140 characters or less from this week. A summary.

Weekends are slow, what with all of you having such exciting things to do... so why not lazy out with a twitter summary?

• I .have. a. typewriter. in. my. possession. HAPPY DAY!
• So I burned an actual hole in the ceramic top of my stove. It doesn't mean I can't cook.
• Dear Cadbury Mini Eggs, Get in my belly.
• Saw 2 accidents, a woman laying in the middle of the street, gave away a typewriter and paid for a stranger's parking. Weird day.
• Why don't convenience stores deliver? Hm? Sounds like inconvenience stores to me.
• My son is pretending he's a big ball of armpit hair.
• I found a raspberry seed in my hair. This after a lice notice from the school. Nothing is scarier than the idea of having lice. *jeebity*
• I dreamed that I fell into the ocean and nearly drowned because I wouldn't let go of my iron & it pulled me down. IRON? Do I even own one?
• Also, I took a huge risk today and waxed my own eyebrows. Both remain intact! Success.
• I've rolled up 4 rims and not won a thing. WHY DO YOU MOCK ME, TIM HORTON'S????
• Whatsherface in the blue bikini looks like a 3 day old mozzarella cheese stick. #survivor
• Toddlers are not very good at taking care of laptops.
• Saw STOMP. Was pretty awesome. I want to break my garbage cans.
• Wait... I DID break my garbage cans already. With my car. Stomp never did THAT. I rule
• Apparently we're going to be watching, "Manswers."
• Why do I want to see hot tub time machine so badly?
• I'm pretty confident that Kevin James will be getting that Oscar for his inspiring portrayal of Paul Blart, Mall Cop..
• I don't understand what makes a grown person start a twitter account for their cat... and then pretend to BE the cat.. and they are serious.
• It enrages me. The End.
• If my cat ever starts a blog, it'll be about being a total whore.
• ZOIKS. See? Every time I rant about something, 22 people come out of the closet of their own weirdness.
• I would be getting a tattoo right now but the shop is closed???

**Also, Readers, Kirstie Alley talked to me because I told her that she was funny because nothing she says makes sense 96% of the time. Then she tried to explain something she had said. I dunno what she was getting at, but that makes me pretty much the best supporting actress in "Look Who's Talking". Not to mention that yesterday, we looked over into the car next to us in traffic and there was Don Cherry. For real. He was even wearing the cartoon tuxedo that he always wears to games. Now I can say that celebrities swarm me all the time. Back off, celebrities. I need my space. Concentrate on your jobs.

Michelle draws pictures of typewriters

Because she can't find a typewriter anywhere and is getting obsessed, because she's been looking for one since October. There are none. None at all. They are extinct. This is what she imagines one looks like:

tadaaa

Why is she speaking in the third person? She blames facebook and is going to stop now.

Okay, I should clarify: FREE typewriter. There are typewriters available for purchase willy nilly, but nobody is going to let me pry one from their teeth gnashing, fingernail-scraping clutches for less than a hundred bucks. As if. I swear that I will find one for free.. or less than $30. Yes. I've tried shops. Yes. I've tried ebay. Yes. I've tried kijiji. SOMEONE must have their old woebegone typewriter, waiting sadly in a basement somewhere, listening tearfully and jealously as their old typist dances and plays in the very house with their fancy dancy new computer and interwebz; just dreaming of the day they make a comeback... the day of typewriter retribution, when typewriters finally overthrow the reign of terror that computers hold over writers everywhere... I have my finger on the pulse of what's going down, readers.

Can't I just relieve you of it- for free, people who are not even reading this blog? Just think about it, non blog readers and typewriter hoarders. Think.