Sumo brother on the set of Titanic, bullets, pictures of barely legal cats, that sort of thing.

My favourite snapshot of my oldest brother from when he was a temp for Kate Winslet.

-I've been painting pictures of shoes. Nothing worthy to be seen as of yet. Or maybe ever.
-My tattoo feels like the world's largest mosquito bite. It will never stop being itchy. I must will it to be scratched. Or buy gold bold itching powder. Probably I won't do that.
-I cheese grated my thumbnail half off in my attempt to make perfect lasagne today. It wasn't supposed to be part of it. MmMmm bloody cheese...
-I am kind of blue lately. Not like Avatar, because then I'd be depressed. Just meh.

-I like it when I'm eating my McDonalds salad in the parking lot while waiting for my kids to get out of school and I slop salad dressing down the front of myself, only to discover that it all landed on the seat belt. SCORE! It's the little things, people.
-OoH also lookie! 100 subscribers! (Until one of you unsubscribe because this entry S U C K S.) Don't punish me, internet.
-Its my birthday in less than a month. Gross.

Don't unsubscribe! Here are some more erratic photos:Smarties the harlot kitty lookin' for a man-cat. Lookin' good, Smarties. Flaunt it while you got it. Because you're getting spayed. Buuuurn.

Funniest movie ever.

Some tapes in a junk store that I went into on the weekend. Every single one sucked.

The lasagna that I made for dinner tonight.

My older sister and I. About 1980.

Me on my tricycle with E.T. Rockin' the red pants. 1983/84ish

I tried random stranger chat. I think I failed. I guess I'll have to keep talking to real people who I actually know. *sigh* They always know when I'm lying about how I have my own bee-shooting gun. (It shoots bees at people. Especially bad guys.)

Stay out of this tiny, concrete, hundred year old culvert/drainage pipe, Everyone.

Silence of the Yams

*LOUD OMINOUS THUMP*

6 year old: Um... I need some paper towel.

Me: Hurgh?

6 year old: The watermelon broke and it's leaking.

Me: The watermelon BROKE? How did the watermelon break?

6yo: I was going to wake you up with it.

Me: With a GIANT WATERMELON? How was that going to go down?

6yo: I was going to surprise you.

*silence*

And there it is. A watermelon laying on the floor, cracked open like a giant, delicious skull. That could have been me....

So my son plots against me with produce. I guess it IS a bad idea to buy him a potato cannon after all... or is it? Maybe I should nurture his interests. Good moms do that, right? Maybe I should be encouraging him to be a produce villain, maybe we should put in a garden for the young Lord Vitamin C so that he can pursue his ultimate goal of ruling the world through fruit violence. Lord knows if I don't support him, I may wake up one morning, impaled by some celery & cheeze whiz. Messy messy business.

That freakshow, Captain Vegetable had better be looking over his freakin' shoulder from now on, that's all I know.