A taste of MiScHieF.....

Right, so the junk mail has improved. Today is the second day in a row that I have received cookie samples on my doorknob. (Eat cookies that you've found on your doorstep, Michelle? Sounds like a great idea.) I kind of wish it was my job to sneak around the neighborhood leaving samples of cookies for total strangers like a friendly little elf/nutjob- frolicking from house to house with my grocery bag full of cookie samples. I wonder if homemade cookies would be as well received... Hmm... Guess I'll add it to the bucket list.

Anyhow, these are not just your run of the mill, left on your doorknob cookie samples, folks. Upon first look, I thought they were condoms. I. DID. I'd thought that Fluffy Sparkles might have given up her personal directive of breaking a world record for the largest pile of dead mice on a door mat in the morning in favour of promoting safer sex.... But Fluffy Sparkles has been fixed, you see. I am not sure she puts much thought into such racy things these days. She's kind of a prude.

There was good reason to believe that someone planted birth control on my doorknob though, Dorkherd. If you have a look, you'll notice that there are two parties featured on the front of the box looking very interested in each other, one being a shirtless, spit polished, somewhat radioactive looking cowboy for added intrigue and the other being the once pure blossoming virgin with new and confusing thoughts about the new farm hand. The package DOES say, 'Lifestyle' so give me a break. It totally looks like some kind of Condom door hanger. I was pretty sure that if I flipped over the box, it would conveniently read, "Do Not Disturb" in case the finder of the samples got into a total frenzy upon finding this racy sample box hanging from their door knob and needed a sign to warn potential droppers by about why they should return maybe later.

However, upon finding that the packaging actually read "Peek Freans", it all clicked. Peek Freans, EH?? Oh I see what's happening here. They've made their cookies sexier and more appealing to adult tastes... Mood cookies, one could call them. Well I'm no fool. I opened the package and there was definitely no prophylactics in there with the cookies. NONE. Did they think I'd get so wrapped up in the moment and FORGET? Not a chance. You know what else I know? Peek Freans make baby cookies. You reading me here? PEEK FREANS are trying to get me pregnant so I'll ALSO buy the baby cookies. I'd have to buy more baby cookies if I got pregnant. Well it's a good thing I'm wise to this dastardly pyramid marketing ploy. Dodged a bullet there. I already have a hoard of baby cookies, thankyouverymuch.

Yep. See? It's just cookies in a little airline-ish package. Less impressive in your wallets... or are they?

Because this would totally impress a date, if the person were worth dating thatis. Seeing how your date reacts to something like this is pretty much a fool proof method of finding out if they're the one.

Vanilla Bean Latte Harlequin Cookies. They make me feel dirty. No- like really dirty. Because I ate them off the porch.