6 year old: Um... I need some paper towel.
Me: Hurgh?
6 year old: The watermelon broke and it's leaking.
Me: The watermelon BROKE? How did the watermelon break?
6yo: I was going to wake you up with it.
Me: With a GIANT WATERMELON? How was that going to go down?
6yo: I was going to surprise you.
*silence*
And there it is. A watermelon laying on the floor, cracked open like a giant, delicious skull. That could have been me....
So my son plots against me with produce. I guess it IS a bad idea to buy him a potato cannon after all... or is it? Maybe I should nurture his interests. Good moms do that, right? Maybe I should be encouraging him to be a produce villain, maybe we should put in a garden for the young Lord Vitamin C so that he can pursue his ultimate goal of ruling the world through fruit violence. Lord knows if I don't support him, I may wake up one morning, impaled by some celery & cheeze whiz. Messy messy business.
That freakshow, Captain Vegetable had better be looking over his freakin' shoulder from now on, that's all I know.
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