What a thing of beauty, huh? (or Foghorn Leghorn full of Grace.)

MmmMMmmm...

I violated it with bread just this morning and put it in the oven. It's always kind of embarrassing stuffing a turkey, like I feel like I should have gotten written consent before stuffing my hand in it's cavity, or that a nurse should be present or something to make sure I'm being professional and it feels as comfortable as possible while it's little turkey legs are up in the little tiny stirrups, waiting for the invasive procedure. Poor turkey. But I always make sure I thank the turkey for letting me shove it's butt full of bread and onions and seasoning and such. It's Thanksgiving, after all. I think the turkey would be happy to be violated for my dinner AND excellent blog. Looks good, huh? Sure dooooes. That is unless you're a vegetarian. If you are, you're probably all grossed out and like:

"AAAAAAAAAAAUGH!" Or something.

PS. Thanks to Michael for the clever Foghorn analogy. I need it to be a real movie. Follow Michael on Twitter AND youtube. Do. It.

This post brought to you by: Booze in my breakfast cereal.

Well. It's 8:06 am and I have had a most wonderful start to my day/continued day from yesterday- seeing as nobody got to sleep- thank you Eleanore's new tooth. We awoke to a chattering baby girl in her crib and an aroma resonating in through our nostrils and out through our ears. At first I thought it might have been my breath. Then I glared at Neil because surely it was HIS. Nope. It all registered in my brain too quickly.

Eleanore pooped the crib, then did some artwork. The little blessing from Heavenly Heaven who I love and adore and forgive and cherish from her piggy tails to her poop caked feet. If you could see the grin plastered across my face, you'd know how much I mean it.

The angel of reek.

Now I'm not going to be one of those parents who claims that the Virgin Mary appeared in the baby's poop-art but I'm telling you- it might have been the last supper (Get it? OH so FUNNY. No it wasn't. Sorry). No it was just the regular poop smears. Don't tell Neil, but so far she's no Picasso. Bev Doolittle maybe.... but not Picasso.

I'm delirious. I didn't sleep. It's not my fault that I am making vague-puns. I have acid reflux, too. I'm all out of rolaids. I woke up to a poopchild. I'm falling apart! Don't leave me.

Fur is out.

Now it's all the rage to wear babies, Fashionistas. Thank God, because I have an impressive selection. Take this babywearing vest, for example. Doesn't it look so practical? I can't really see a thing going wrong with this- a screaming, kicking child?... No.... A Child who is pooping inside of your clothes?... Nothing could go wrong there.... The fact that from a distance, your baby's head would look like one of your breasts had somehow poked it's way out of your fleecy garment (and heaven forbid the baby is prone to spitting up)?.. Nooo.... In fact, I am dying to order a retrofitted version for my 10 year old.

Maybe my entire family could each get one in order from largest to smallest. Neil could wear me, I could wear Sull... so on and so on until Fluffy Sparkles the cat is happily tucked away in Eleanore's very own cat-wearing snuggy vest, with just her little kitty head poking out of a little fleecy hole as we frolic along in the park.

But what really gets to me here is that I'm having some kind of dejavu from this baby-wearing photo... It's just that I TOTALLY can't RECALL where I've seen something like this before. If I could RECALL where I've seen this before, I TOTALLY would, but I'm drawing a TOTAL blank of the RECALLING of where I've seen a baby-wearing outfit like this in the past.......


Hold on a second...

*cough*

Let me take a break from pantyhose crafting for a moment to bring you this..

The worst looking biscuits I've ever made.

Highlights.

It was Neil's Happy Birthday today!  Zipity Doo Da!  Santa brought him an Iphone and an almost kidfree, romantical dinner.  That means that I fed the kids hamburger helper early and shooed them on up to their rooms to play ds for 45 minutes while we had steak, asparagus & roasted baby potatos.   Cool eh?  Bonus points for me.  Like, at least 8 bonus points.  Add those to the pumpkin brownie fail points and I have 11 points.  Eleven.  Chew on that, People.

Eleanore as Godzilla.

Jazzed up baby pic, installment 2

Eleanore as Imelda Marcos.


What.

Make your own commentary.

Eleanore as Jack Torrence

In Stanley Kubrick's "The Shining".

What? I didn't want anyone to get bored looking at regular old baby photos, so I jazzed them up a little.


Eleanore as Marie Curie.

Alright. I'll stop. For now...