Mr & Mr David Geffen?

I married once for love. It was worth it & it had to be done. A psychic told the Husband that we have had some sort of relationship for many lifetimes. I love him & I married him for love. I married once for love & the next time... I am going to marry for money. I have my eye on David Geffen. He turns 68 today. I hope he received my birthday card.

David Geffen is probably the most successful business person in the entertainment industry, with net worth estimated at $4.4 billion in 2009 (Forbes). Geffen made his money the old fashioned way, starting in the New York mailroom of the William Morris Agency. His overly aggressive style fit right in at Morris where he quickly became the agent for rising East Coast music talent. By the time he was 27, he had his first multi-million dollar deal by signing songwriter Laura Nyro to Columbia. As an independent agent, & with his own label- Asylum, Geffen became a real player in the music biz, representing established artists/groups & creating new ones: The Association, Janis Joplin, James Taylor, Bob Dylan, Linda Ronstadt, The Eagles, Joni Mitchell, Jackson Browne, & Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young. In 1971 he was able to sell Asylum to Warner Bros. for $7 million & became head of Warner's Elektra/Asylum label in 1973. He retired the first time in 1976, burned out & dealing with a cancer diagnosis that turned out to be a false alarm.


The next phase of Geffen's career started in 1980 when he came out of retirement to start Geffen Records. He signed some of the biggest acts including Elton John, Donna Summer, & Neil Young. Tough & controversial, Geffen was often at legal odds with his artists & partners. He gained a reputation as a money man who exploited the talent. Geffen rose above it all, & signed Guns N' Roses, Aerosmith, Don Henley, Peter Gabriel, & Cher to send Geffen Records to sales of $300 million by 1990 & then more success in the 1990s with Nirvana & Sonic Youth. Geffen Records was sold to MCA in 1990 for stock, & Geffen received $710 million when MCA was sold to Matsushita Electric 3 years later. The prolific Geffen  produced movies during this period: Risky Business, Beetlejuice, The Last Boy Scout, Lost in America, & Little Shop of Horrors, & Broadway shows- Cats, Miss Saigon, Dreamgirls & M. Butterfly.


Geffen's net worth is 7 billion dollars., according to Forbes, a true 1%. I know that I could make him happy; there is my trick pelvis & that special thing that I do with. I have it from the source that he is the subject of You're So Vain, the 1972 hit song by Carly Simon.

“When I was plugging songs in back in New York City, I used to wear a jacket, tie & good pants, not jeans. When I moved to Hollywood in the early 1970s, it was jeans & cowboy boots all the way! Although I do admit to having my jeans tailored & chemically “aged”, & wearing highly polished Fry boots with 2 inch stacked heels. It was like John Wayne meets Superfly”

The Gay Birthday Roll Call For October 22nd... 3 Talented Men Of Show Biz

Openly gay Bill Condon would be on the birthday roll call just for writing & directing one of my top 10 movies of all time- Gods & Monsters. To me this is a nearly perfect film, without a wasted scene or line of dialogue & amazing Oscar worthy performances from Sir Ian McKellen, Brendan Fraser & Lynn Redgrave. Gods & Monsters is the story of the last days of James Whale, the gay director of Frankenstein, Bride of Frankenstein, The Invisible Man & Showboat. Condon was nominated for Best Director & won the award for Best Screenplay Adaptation (from Christopher Bram’s book). On top of this accomplishment, he wrote the brilliant screenplay for the film of Chicago, a stage musical that seemed to me, to be impossible to bring to the screen (another Oscar nom), he wrote & directed the under-rated Kinsey, & wrote & directed the over-hyped, but very engaging film version of Dreamgirls. Bill Condoned direct the last installment of the The Twilight Saga franchise- Breaking Dawn… & I think he is cute.

When Marc Shaiman kissed his fellow Tony winner & partner Scott on the televised award show, it made quite a stir. He’s won a Tony (for Hairspray), a Grammy, & an Emmy, He has had 5 Oscar nominations, including one for Blame Canada. He has been with Scott Whitman, his creative partner & life partner for 31 years, since they met when he was 20 in 1979 (the same year that I matched up with the Husband). His film credits include Broadcast News, Beaches, When Harry Met Sally, City Slickers, The Addams Family, Sister Act, Sleepless in Seattle, A Few Good Men, The American President, The First Wives Club, George of the Jungle, In & Out, South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut, Team America: World Police & HBO's From the Earth to the Moon. He frequently works on films by Billy Crystal, Rob Reiner, & Trey Parker He has also appeared in many of these films. Shaiman started his career as a theatre/cabaret musical director. He then became vocal arranger for Bette Midler, eventually becoming her musical director & co-producer of many of her recordings, including The Wind Beneath My Wings & From a Distance. He helped create the material for her performance on the penultimate Tonight Show with Johnny Carson. This season he had the musical-The Addams Family on Broadway. He auditioned for & but lost the role of himself on Bette’s short lived TV sitcom,… & I think he is cute.

Derek Jacobi was invited by Lawrence Olivier to become 1 of the 8 founding members of The National Theatre, soon after graduating from Cambridge. An extremely successful film & theatre actor, he is probably best known for his performance in the ground breaking BBC TV series I, Claudius (1976) & his Shakespearean roles around the world, including what many feel was the best Hamlet of the 20th century.He also appeared as Alan Turing in the stage & film versions of Breaking The Code. His other appearances have been diverse & ranged from major classical roles to an appearance in Frasier as the world’s worst Shakespearian actor & one of my favorite films- Robert Altman’s Gosford Park. Jacobi is married to Richard Clifford, his partner of 32 years (again, all these 32 year anniversaries!)...& think he is cute.

Punchline

Click on the image & it will get bigger

Receiving this residual check from Singles for 30 cents, which cost The Screen Actors Guild 44 cents to send, reminds me of the very old burlesque joke about the man with the circus whose job it was to clean up the putrid piles of prolific pachyderm poop. A passerby, who saw him hip-deep in elephant shit, asked: “My good man, how can you put up with such demeaning conditions? Haven’t you ever thought about another line of work?” To which the circus worker replied: “What... & give up show business?”

A Lovely Bunch Of Coconuts... Born On This Day- Closet Case Merv Griffin

When Merv Griffin died, he left behind: Wheel Of Fortune, Jeopardy & its theme song, hotels, real estate ventures, more than a billion dollars, & a great deal of speculation. According to Merv Griffin: A life in the Closet by his friend Darwin Porter, Griffin’s 1st crush was Errol Flynn, whom he saw passed out naked on a couch. He was a  roommate with Montgomery Clift for 2 years. He lived with Roddy McDowall at the famed Dakota in NYC, where he introduced Eddie Fisher to Elizabeth Taylor. He had an affair with Rock Hudson, whom he met through Henry Wilson, Rock's agent, & who advised him to keep his sexuality under wraps, & there was a young James Dean selling his sex for cash. He had a relationship with Judy Garland's Meet Me in St. Louis boy next door- Tom Drake. There was golden age stars Peter Lawford, & Robert Walker on his list of conquests, & a sexual tryst with Marlon Brando. He was famous in gay circles for his all-male pool parties with hired porn stars serving up goodies.



I used to come home from elementary school, & let myself into our house with my key, practice the piano & then settle in to watch the Merv Griffin Show. I was already zany for show biz & I was big on Merv’s guests including Moms Mabley, Mrs. Miller & Pamela Mason. Merv's secret gay life was widely known in showbiz, but not to his viewers.

The issue of his sexuality became an issue in 1991 when he was targeted in 2 lawsuits: by Dance Fever host Denny Terrio, alleging sexual harassment; & by his personal assistant- Brent Plott seeking $200 million in palimony. Both suits were eventually dismissed. Eva Gabor played his beard. Nothing was discussed in the media or in his own circles, particularly straight political circles. Though he quietly led a gay life, & had his pool parties filled with hot young men, & a parade of boyfriends, it was viewed as "private" information that was not discussed in mixed company.


In the last years of his life, Griffin deflected the gay questions with a quip, determining that his private life remain private. He felt that he needed explanation, but maybe he owed it to himself to open the secret he'd been forced to hide throughout his adult life. But, Griffin had a place in the Hollywood firmament at a time when being gay was unthinkable & the allegation alone would ruin a career.


I would think that the public would have been more tolerant about his being gay as he grew into old age? Even in Hollywood where homosexuality isn't exactly a rare phenomenon, being gay is rarely spoken of in an honest way. Griffin's brush with tabloid scandal probably only drove him deeper into the closet.


Griffin's closet kept him shockingly silent while he had access to the President of the United States as gay people were dying. He was close with the Reagans (Nancy Reagan in particular, they share a birthday today) during the height of the AIDS epidemic in 1980s, with few treatments available & fear-mongering having gripped the media. Griffin's friends, his lovers, gay men across America, & around the world suffered & met horrific deaths. Griffin was closeted, & it is highly unlikely he ever made the connection for the Reagans, pointed out the government negligence, or even talking openly as a gay person. They likely knew he was gay, but it was unspoken. Maybe the Reagans rationalized that Griffin was not like "those people", & that maybe it wasn't true anyway... maybe he was actually dating Eva Gabor. Griffin stayed silent about the epidemic in the media, ironic because he was at the center of the media industry & in shaping the TV industry, when his voice would have made a huge difference.

Griffin died in 2007, at 82 years of age. He left behind an immense fortune & many unanswered questions.

Born On This Day- May 27th... Party Animal Allan Carr

I have a certain amount of camp sensibilities; I am zany for a really good bad movie: Valley Of The Dolls, Battlefield Earth, Roadhouse, Terror In Tiny Town, Ishtar, The Oscar, Mommy Dearest. Showgirls is my #1 Good Bad Movie, but Can’t Stop The Music is right behind it, nipping at it’s ass.

The 1980 musical epic was the only time The Village People starred in a film, proof that it takes a village. He cast it with a lot of ex-boyfriends, but on the set they got out of hand & Carr issued an edict: “Anyone caught having sex on the set will be fired!”

Nothing says 1970s hedonism like an Allan Carr production. But then there was nothing else like very ostentacious, obese, ornate caftan-wearing Allan Carr.

Carr produced & promoted the films Grease, Grease 2, Where The Boys Are ’84, Tommy, & Broadway’s La Cage aux Folles. Carr kept was also busy hosting exclusive & extravagant events with guest lists that included most show biz legends & those that loved them. The invitations to the gatherings at his opulent mansion, with bars, a disco, & plenty of private rooms where guests could indulge in cocaine & sex, were highly coveted. Even in homophobic Hollywood of the 1970s.

He titled his parties like movies: the Roman Polanski Rolodex Party, the Rudolph Nureyev Mattress Party, the Mick Jagger Cycle Sluts Party, the Truman Capote Jailhouse Party. He invited rock stars & Hollywood royalty. You could rub up to Elton John, Groucho Marx, or the pool boy. To promote the movie Tommy, he held the opening-night party in the New York subway.

Carr’s fall from grace was as dramatic as his rise to the top. He was banned from the Academy Awards after producing what is remembered as the worst Oscar broadcast of all time, with a tone deaf Rob Lowe & Snow White singing Proud Mary. Stars like Gregory Peck, Julie Andrews & Paul Newman signed a petition banning Carr from the Oscars. Disney sued the Oscars for copyright infringement of their Snow White character. The Breakout Superstars of Tomorrow segment in the program’s second half featured 12 minutes of young actors like Christian Slater & Patrick Dempsey writhing around a giant Oscar as if it was the golden calf.

Soon after, the Hollywood establishment shunned the sizzling scandals, sex & sordid lifestyle of the flamboyantly gay Allan Carr. Grease may have been the word, but nothing lubed Carr like pretty parties, pretty caftans, pretty drugs & pretty boys.

In 1999, Carr died of Liver Cancer. His ashes were scattered in the Pacific by Ann Margret in front of his former Diamond Head Estate in Oahu, Hawaii.

Broadway Baby

Happy Birthday, Bernadette Lazzara! Of all the Broadway Divas: Betty, Barbara, Patti, Chita, Kristin, Audra, Chita, Carol, or even Angela, the one with the most special place in my heart & on my stereo is Bernadette Peters. I first saw her in George M! in 1968 & I absolutely fell in love with the voice, the va va voom curves, the cinnamon curls, the dramatic chops, & the crack comic timing. But, it is really about the voice. She has been working on stage for 59 years: Curley McDimple, Dames At Sea, George M!, On The Town, Mack & Mabel, Sunday In The Park With George, Song & Dance, Into The Woods, The Goodbye Girl, Annie Get Your Gun, & Gypsy!.

Bernadette does amazing work for animal rights with her organization with Mary Tyler Moore- Broadway Barks & is the author of a popular children’s book of the same name.


I have seen her many times in musicals & in concert. My personal favorite was Annie Get Your Gun on Broadway in 1999. Peters sings with her whole body. Not just a few arm gestures for punctuation, as many excellent singers offer, but the music seems to travel from her toes to the tip of her nose as she bends, reaches & throws her head back to let out the final notes.


Peters is wrapping up a run in Follies on Broadway, a production that started at The Kennedy Center last summer. I believe that her version of Losing My Mind on the cast album is the most moving of all the many takes on this ballad.


Peters turns 64 today & she looks terrific. A perfect example of the advantage of staying out of the sun. But again, for me it is all about the voice:

A Dream That Will Need All The Love You Can Give, Ev'ry Day Of Your Life, For As Long As You Live

In 1976, after graduation from college in L.A. with my very useful B.A. in Theatre, I was off to attended the HB Studio in the West Village neighborhood of NYC. Established in 1945 by the actor/director Herbert Berghof, HB Studio was created to provide professional theatre training & practice for aspiring & accomplished actors of all ages. The legendary actress Uta Hagen joined the Studio in 1948 as an artistic partner. The pair married 10 years later. Hagen & Berghof trained many of the outstanding actors of the American stage & screen.

When I finished the certificate program at HB, Uta Hagen gave each me a wrapped book, which I assumed was her important tome- Respect For Acting. Instead it was a copy of her cookbook. I should have realized it was a sign.



Certainly then, in my early 20s, I would never have even conceived of giving up show biz. It was my entire life; every breath was dedicated to The Theatre.


I never grew tired of the process & I loved the work. I had deep craving for the kind of attention & exaltation one can only achieve from performing on stage in front of a live audience.


But, walk away from it, I did. I could not endure more auditioning. After 35+ years, one would think that I would have been used to it, but I grew weary of putting myself out there. In my late 40s I found that I was no longer able to stomach, suffer or swallow the very possible humiliation of being rejected for being ME.


This feeling was more solidified with my auditions for Films & TV, but stage auditions held their own private abasement & humiliation. In TV & film work, I had started to feel an unfathomable mortification when entering a room of 50 stocky, bald, pugnacious men of my own age range. Casting directors seem to lack in any imagination & were seeking actors that looked exactly like the storyboard presented by the ad agency. Make no mistake… I loved doing commercials, it may be the happiest I have ever been as a performer, & I worked steadily in the 1980s & 1990s, but waiting in a room to do my audition thing with dozens of gentlemen that look much like me, became a special kind of hell for me.


Stage auditions really should have left me less scared, & for the most part this was true. To attempt to get a job in a play or a musical, an actor starts by doing a prepared monologue or 2 that contrast, & a song, usually for the director, but sometimes round #1 is for a casting director. In the 1970s-1990s I was up for that challenge. I always had audition pieces that I loved performing, so that even an audition felt like a roller coaster kick for my ego. I knew that my selections were atypical & unique & well suited. I was secure that I would not be boring anyone.


I actually had a good reputation for these auditions. I once had the chance to glance at my audition card, for a musical that I was up for, that stated: “a young, sexy Jimmy Durante”. I was happy with that assessment.


The beginning of the end for me was the practice of having to audition for directors that I had worked with before, in major roles, major roles where I was well reviewed by critics & well regarded by cast members. The straw that broke this camel’s back was a director, who I had done major, important work for, who made the following comment at a dinner party: “You would have been ultimately better in the role than Mr. X, but he just really nailed that audition.” I had never, ever sassed a director over being passed over, & yet I spilled out: “Really? I didn’t understand that it was audition as gladiators. For you, it wasn’t who would eventually be the brightest in the role, but who was left standing at the end of the day?”


I am fortunate to have done several dream roles: Elliott in Private Lives, Hysteriam in A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Forum, Herr Shultz in Cabaret, LM in Pump Boys & Dinettes, in the cast of Side By Side By Sondheim, Henrik in A Little Night Music, Horace Vandergelder in Hello, Dolly!, & my own favorite- Fagin in Oliver!.

Your Host as Fagin in Oliver! (1978), photo provided by Brian who played the Artful Dodger, who found me via Facebook, as did the talented young man who played the title role.

Roles I dreamed of & never got the chance to play: Riff Raff in The Rocky Horror Show, Dr. Pengloss in Candide, Shylock, Malvolio, Caliban, & my most desired of all parts- Captain Hook.


I don’t believe in mucking around with copywrited work by living authors, but I was just a bit excited when I was about to be cast as Joanne (the Elaine Stritch role) in an all-male version of Company. The shows received a cease & desist from Stephen Sondheim before casting was even was completed. I agreed with Mr. Sondheim’s lawyers, but I could really taste that role & it would have been interesting to play a character so close to my personality in real life.


Am I retired forever? I believe I am, although this post started with a daydream about being on stage again. My favorite kind of role was always a supporting character in a musical, the sort of part that you spend a lot of time in the green room doing a crossword or playing cards, a character that has 3 or 4 really terrific scenes & one big crowd pleasing, bring the house down, musical number… less work, but more attention. As I consider this now, the role that will bring me out of retirement will be Mother Abbess in The Sound Of Music. I believe I may have been waiting my entire life to bring this character to life: a wise & patient old, but wise cracking, nun who has one of the all-time best Act One finales:

Born On This Day- May 9th... Cole Porter

I was so enamored of the songs of Cole Porter & the story of his life & friendships, that my parents gave me huge “coffee table” book about this great American songwriter for Christmas when I was 11 years old, & then followed it up with another big book of his collected lyrics for my birthday the next week. I still have both books.

Born in Peru, Indiana in 1891, Porter studied music from an early age, & began composing as a teenager. After high school he attended Yale University, where he was voted “most entertaining man.” He went on to law school at Harvard University,  but his interest remained in music. At Harvard he continued to write songs, & a some of his pieces were used in Broadway musicals.


In 1916, his first full score was performed. The musical- See America First was a flop & closed after only 15 performances. Bruised by the experience, he began to travel around Europe & got an apartment in Paris. This was the beginning of his life long affection for the city, which he would return to in songs- You Don’t Know Paree & I Love Paris. During his time in Europe, Porter contributed to many musicals, but until his song- Let’s Do It, Let’s Fall In Love appeared in the 1928 musical Paris, he had not had a big hit. Paris was a place Cole flourished socially. He attended parties with his pal Noel Coward. The parties of the era were elaborate & fabulous, attended by the upper crust. His own parties were marked by gay & bisexual activity, cross-dressing, international musicians & actors, & a large surplus of recreational drugs. I sometimes think I was born in the wrong era.


Porter started spending time with American divorcee- Linda Thomas, & they became close friends quickly. Their financial status & social status made them prefect as a married couple.The fact that Linda's ex-husband was abusive & Cole was gay made the arrangement even more perfect. Linda was always one of Porter's staunch supporters & being married increased his chance of success. Being married to Porter allowed Linda to keep high status in society for the rest of her life. They married in 1919 & lived in a happy arrangement, a successful public relationship, but a sexless marriage until Linda's death in 1954.


Porter was happy with a life in Hollywood in the 1930s, including a more liberal movie industry where Porter enjoyed more open sexual adventures. At the time, it was somewhat more acceptable to be an eccentric gay artist, but Linda feared for Porter’s reputation & career. Her social standing was threatened by his activities & the rumors in upper-crust social circles.


Despite a horseback riding accident in 1937 that crippled him for life, Porter produced much of his best work in the 1940s &1950s. He wrote 100s of songs for Broadway shows, movie musicals, & TV specials. His most successful musical- Kiss Me Kate opened in 1948 & ran for over a 1000 performances. A recluse in his later years, Porter died in California in 1964.


In 1945 the film Night & Day was made with Cary Grant, allegedly about the life of Cole Porter. This movie has almost nothing to do with the actual life of the songwriter. Night & Day leaves out the important elements of his gay life, & his sexless marriage of convenience.


The 1990 album- Red, Hot, & Blue. features Cole Porter songs sung by popular musicians of the 1980s & 1990s. It remains a favorite of mine. The dismal 2004 movie- De-Lovely, with an improbable Kevin Kline as Porter, came a tiny bit closer to the true story & featured beautiful sets, major actors, famous current musicians, & a strong Hollywood marketing campaign for the movie & the soundtrack. But for me, this movie is a miserable, great big mess.





Along with George Gershwin, Richard Rogers & Jerome Kern, Porter moved from the sentimentality & simplicity that dominated the popular song. His urbane wit & musical complexity gave us songs such as What Is This Thing Called Love, I Get A Kick Out of You, & Anything Goes, that have withstood the test of time. While he is known for many upbeat show tunes, Porter has a more melancholy side with songs like Miss Otis Regrets & my person favorite- Ev’ry Time We Say Goodbye. We still have his amazing, witty, sophisticated music.


An anecdote: Cole Porter had quite the thing for large, beautiful men of color. He was putting the moves on a handsome, young black room service waiter while staying at the Ritz Hotel. The waiter explained that Porter's wishes would be obliged for a certain amount of cash. Cole Porter's replay: "Miss Otis Regrets She Is Unable To Lunch Today".

"But I Simply Can Not Do It... Alone!"

Before we were an item, & for the first few years that we were a couple, the Husband & worked on many theatre projects together, in many different capacities. I directed him in The Shadow Box (1978) & he directed me in Noel Coward's Hay Fever (1979- for which he also did the costumes, sets & lights). We acted in the same pieces a few times, always hard on the Husband because I am always an audience favorite. Still, the Husband has considerable talents as a performer himself, with excellent acting chops, better than average dancing skills, & a sweet singing voice. We have toyed with the idea of having some sort of act as a duo, something fun for us to do as a couple. So, we got back to the gym, practiced on weekends & came up with a little act that we debuted last Saturday night for a small gathering of friends & acquaintances. We were fortunate enough to have this performance on tape: