Showing posts with label Porn. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Porn. Show all posts

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Dirty



The first time I saw a Tom of Finland drawing was in a downtown Spokane used book store near the bus station in the 1970. The image, buried at the back of a men’s physique magazine (this is pre-MEN’S HEALTH, but the same idea), was in a small ad for more “special” publications. It jumped out at me like a great big erection. It depicted a pair of muscular butch men with big chins & broad grins grabbing each other's bubble butts & straining packages while winking at the reader. I was startled & aroused. Tom of Finland's pornographic drawings of hunky, fuck-booted, big butted beefcakes banging the booty in charcoals, pencil, ink, & watercolors had my full attention, & remonded me that I would need to get to a gym.



Tom was born Touko Laaksonen in Kaarina, Finland, on this day-May 8, in 1920. His work is literally the masturbatory fantasies of a lonely young homosexual Finnish boy; he began drawing in his bedroom in the 1940s. Tom worked as an illustrator in the Finnish advertising business until the early 1970s, when he became a full time gay pornographer. He sold the idea of the male body as a pleased, pleasuring & pleasured thing decades before Calvin Klein thought of it.


Tom's greatest achievement was in drawing gay men who were masculine, happy & proud at a time when they were supposed to be effeminate, neurotic & shameful. This is certainly the reason why so many gay men are Tom of Finland fans. Today's gay porn is just a footnote to Tom of Finland, endless loops of a garage full of “regular guys” with huge cocks & massive pecs having spontaneous, shameless sex at the drop of the monkey wrench. His achievement was more than just making gay men feel good about themselves, or the feel of leather.



Tom had a profound influence on gay culture because, in a world that insisted gay men were sissies, Tom portrayed them as confident, macho & aggressive. Every drawing features a lumberjack, cop, construction worker, cowboy, biker, sailor or soldier. Not a florist, choreographer or dress designer in the bunch. He suggested something more than the masculinity in gay men. Tom turned it around on the straight world; you couldn't be masculine unless you were gay.

Before Tom, no one drew men like he did, unabashed sex objects & sex subjects, giving them exaggerated big chins, strong jaws, full lips, bubble butts, full bulges. His idea of masculinity & virility end up looking so... well, yummy. They seem to be seeking the attentions of the powerful Abercrombie & Fitch photographer Bruce Weber (a big Tom fan), or perhaps a Levi's commercial.



Tom's big break came in the 1950s from Physique Pictorial, semi-legal gay American magazine disguised as a straight men's bodybuilding magazine, which frequently put Tom's men on the cover. Half a century later, & 19 years after his death in 1991, the world has turned around & real men who look like Tom's drawings now appear on the cover of magazines like Men's Health. I was reading one while waiting to get my haircut at 7 Bucks A Whack (the perfect Tom of Finland business name) & the thing was full of advice on how straight men can turn themselves into something out of Tom of Finland.



The big question begs- is it art or is it porn? David Hockney, Robert Mapplethorpe & Andy Warhol were admirers & collectors of Tom's work. Not bad for a pornographer. He continues to have gallery shows & his work is in the permanent collections of 7 museums, including MOMA. While the debate goes on whether Tom's fuck machines constitute art, anyone can see that the macho men of Tom of Finland are hung… they're hung in museums.


* These were the most post-able images I could dig up.

Friday, February 17, 2012

Sour Kraut


In the first 4 minutes of viewing porno, I become hazy with horniness. I begin to believe that I won’t be able to take another breath if I don’t commence to sexin’. By minute 5, I am blasé; it is just in & out & in & out, pink, pink, pink… The only pornographic film I ever spent any considerable time with was a very filthy German prison film- Brutalen Deutschen gefangenen und wachen mit riesigen unbeschnittenen männliches Geschlechtsorgan  rund um Stephen's gesicht. This one actually held me at full attention for a full 20 minutes.

After a lifetime of fearing the Teutonic influences, I have developed an interest in German art & design. I guess the passing of 67 years is long enough to relax about being invaded, unless it is by a prison guard.

Friedrich Alfred Krupp was the heir to the 300 year old Krupp empire, makers of steel & weapons of war, taking over the family firm when he was just 33 years old. He was a skilled businessman, though unlike his father, he was a kind man & a philanthropist. Krupp was a master of the subtle sell & cultivated a close rapport with Kaiser Wilhelm II. Under his management, the firm's business blossomed further & further afield, spreading across the globe. He focused on arms manufacturing.


Krupp authorized many new products that would do much to change history. In 1890 Krupp developed nickel steel, which was hard enough to allow thin battleship armor & a new cannon using Alfred Nobel’s improved gunpowder. In 1892, Krupp bought Gruson in a hostile takeover. It became Krupp-Panzer, manufacturer of armor plate. In 1893 Rudolf Diesel brought his new engine to Krupp to construct. In 1896 Krupp bought Germaniawerft, which became Germany’s main warship maker, & built the first German U-Boat in 1906.

In 1887, despite marrying & having 2 daughters, Kruppp had a love affair with Italian island of Capri, indulging in his true passions- marine biology & men. When he would return to Germany, he brought back young Italian men to work at a luxury hotel in Berlin, where Krupp would be guest, so as to indulge in their services. By 1900 his company was the largest in Europe & Krupp was able to exercise enormous power & he felt no need to yield to society’s scrutiny of his personal life.

This took a toll on his wife who needed to be admitted to an asylum. The press grabbed on to the story in the same manner that they would today. An Italian newspaper was at the ready to reveal the exploits of his famous Capri orgies, in a story including photographs. Germany’s Social Democrats’ mouthpiece-Vorwärts, scooped the story & in 1902 they outed Krupp. A week later he committed suicide.

Germany’s Kaiser Wilhelm II took the Social Democrats to task, defending Krupp against the stories he dubbed- “slander”. The wife miraculously recovered &she raised daughters, who inherited the company. Krupps would go on to a powerful tool for the Nazi regime.  Hitler: "In our eyes, the German boy of the future must be slim & slender, as fast as a greyhound, tough as leather & hard as Krupp steel" (der deutsche Junge der Zukunft muß schlank und rank sein, flink wie Windhunde, zäh wie Leder und hart wie Kruppstahl.)”

Krupp continues to manufacture weapons & steel in the 21stcentury as Thyssen-Krupp AG. A rumor on the Internet claims that many of the male steel workers dabble in performers in Gay German Prison Porn.



Thursday, April 1, 2010

I Am Sometimes Disappointed That My Parents Didn't Give Birth To A Porn Star

I get some great giggles from porn star names, porn film titles & the line between the real & parody can get rather blurred. The Husband & I play porn titles as a car game.
My own favorite is Harry Potter & The Double-Headed Dildo, but also good are:

The DaVinci Load 
Angels & Semens
Buffy the Vampire Layer
Edward Penishands
Florence Hump
A Beautiful Behind
Schindler's Fist
Shaving Ryan's Privates
Glad He Ate Her
Riding Miss Daisy
Batman in Robin
Dyke Hard
Star Whores
Gangbangs of New York
On Golden Blonde
How Stella Got Her Tube Packed
Sick Degrees of Penetration
Legally Boned
When Harry Ate Sally
Romancing The Bone
White Men Can't Hump
Ocean's 11 inches
Sorest Rump

10 Things I Ate About Poo






30 Rock is a favorite at Post Apocalyptic Bohemia, & with the technical wonder of the DVR, we are able to have repeat viewings or rewinds to favorite moments. 30 Rock takes place behind the scenes of a fictional live sketch comedy series depicted as airing on NBC; the name "30 Rock" is a reference to the address of the GE Building where NBC Studios is located- 30 Rockefeller Plaza in NYC. The show is written, produced & stars Tina Fey & features wicked funny performances from an ensemble cast including Tracy Morgan, Jane Krakowski, Jack McBrayer, Cheyenne Jackson & the stunningly talented Alec Baldwin. Guests have included Elaine Stritch, Steve Martin, Edie Falco, & Rip Torn.


In the current story arc, NBC is being purchased from GE by Kabletown, a cable company with headquarters in Pennsylvania. Kabletown makes most of its profit from cable on-demand porn. Among the current offerings on the fictional Kabletown is: Fresh Ass Based On The Novel 'Tush' by Assfire.

I also enjoy the idea of the pornos: The Pert Knockers, The Hind Side & Tits Complicated.

Amazing... these films are legit & not porn titles:
Lethal Weapon
Free Willy
Fists Of Fury
Blow
Deep Impact
Snatch
Howard's End
The Fast and the Furious
The Black Stallion
Gone In 60 Seconds
Big Daddy
Top Gun
I enjoy the game of find your own porn name, of the many variations around, I use: your first pet's name + the name of the street you grew up on. I am- LUCKY THURSTON. Uber-Daddy & star of:
Lucky Thurston in Guess Who Came At Dinner?

What is your porn name & the title of your 1st release?

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Steve Makes A Porn... Taking Suggestions

Dan Savage has announced that the local rag-The Portland Mercury is having an Amateur Porn Contest with a prize of $2000 each for the categories of "sexiest" & "funniest" film under 5 minutes. I REALLY could use the $2000, what with the new austerity plan & all. $2000 could get me & the Husband to NYC for a well deserved vacation. I think I do have the slight handicap of being 55, chunky, bald & hairy chested... but, I know for a fact that there is a market for that. I just need to come up with the gimmick or the hook that will make me a real standout among the submissions. With a good gimmick, I know I could with that $2000.

"You can pull all the stops out
Till they call the cops out
Grind your behind till you're banned.
But you gotta get a gimmick
If you wanna get a hand.
You can sacrifice your sacharo
Working in the back row.
Bump in a dump till you're dead.
Kid you gotta have a gimmick
If you wanna get ahead."
Stephen Sondheim