The Real Republicans Of The Presidential Primaries

I have been enjoying this new reality show on... I think it must be Bravo- The Republican Candidates for President Of The United States. It is an absolutely nutty program. These people are more deliriously demented than a weekly dose of any of the Housewives Of Anyplace.

Herman Cain, my favorite when the pilot was aired, was voted off the island early. I still miss Cain. He was a piping hot extra large quadruple cheese pizza slice of fun who likes to talk in rhyme. Cain: "We need a leader, not a reader."

My attention was focused next on batty, bonkers Bachmann. Michele would become my very favorite. What can rivet me to my screen more that the inarticulate & incoherent girl with the pretty eyes? Bachmann was my choice to go all the way to the finale, but you know how it is: One Day You're In, & The Next Day... You're Out. I was shocked when she was voted off, after all, it was God's idea that she be on the show. If the great Vice-President of Original Programing in heaven is behind you, it would be expected that you would win. Michele even was able to have Rip Taylor substitute for her husband. I miss her the most.

Now I have to pin my hopes on Rick Perry, the openly gay Texan with the big gun. Twangy Perry is diverting & droll, with quips such as: "You can always follow me on Tweeter" & "Juarez is reported to be the most dangerous city in America" & "From time to time there are going to be things that occur that are acts of God that cannot be prevented."

John Huntsman should be on another show, he is so smart. When he has to pack his knives & leaves the show, I hope that he will join next season's Ace Of Cakes.

Icky Rick Santorum always acts like he has just seen something really dirty, filthy dirty, in the woodshed. I hate him on this show, but I would find Santorum provocative on The D List with Kathy Griffin, Color Splash With David Bromstad or Dancing With The Stars.

But the pundits & the critics seem to feel that blandly handsome Mitt Romney will win & get his own show. It seems that he is perpetually second choice to play president when the producers can't get Bill Pullman. At first I was profoundly disheartened & disillusioned that a favorite show would grow to become so boring.

But, The Husband has pointed out Romney's cast includes 5 hot sons who might possible be wondering the grounds of the White House in their special magical underwear, & one of the sons is perchance gay & a hair stylist. Leave it to The Husband to find something sublime in the shambles of this silly show.

I will hold fast to my hunch that there is an alliance between Dr. Ron Paul, a zany diminutive opthamologist from Texas & the amphibian family values guy... one they call- Newt, that will keep this favorite show engaging through the spring.