You Wear It Well

I took the day off from work to give myself a little break, as I start a 15 day run of managing the store on my own, with my adorkable assistant- J taking a vacation.



Monday morning had been given over to a long consultation with my physician & a nasty blood draw. I received the good news of the finish from the 2 daily injections given by the Husband. Strange that I surmised that he was going to miss giving me the little prick 2 times a day. I also was told the sunny news that I would be moving up to a bigger prick, but only 2 times a week. This new go round is B12, which I have never had before. I have been told that B12 will make me feel mighty real, yet I prefer my chemical lifts in capsule form. I was also given a prescription for special support socks. It is OK; I didn’t need to have any of my dignity anyway.

I had to purchase these fashion delights at a frightening little shop that was decorated in a style I can only describe as Grandmother’s sewing room circa 1937. The shop sold only bras for woman that have had mastectomies & support hosiery. It was special to have the shop staffed by Thelma Ritter & Marjorie Main. The ladies gave me a lesson on how to put on the foxy socks, which involves wearing rubber garden gloves on your hands. I just pray that I don’t have to open the door in mid-donning; standing there in my underwear & my black mystery material compression socks while wearing rubber garden gloves. How did I go from the goateed & tattooed “alt” guy, who knew all the best new bands & dressed wearing tight jeans, rockabilly shirts, & leather jackets to being attired like Wilford Brimley? What shirt goes best with the medical alert bracelet? Will I ever feel desirable again? What could be more alluring than a chunky, shaved headed, middle-aged gay dude in support hose?

I did ask the doctor about returning to the gym, & he said no to the elliptical trainer & stair machine & suggested rowing for the aerobic work out & upper body weights only, but he emphasized that the best option for me is always flat on my back with my legs elevated. I wanted to ask him if I could go back to having sex, but I was apprehensive that his response would be: "Of course, Stephen. Enjoy sex, but as I have said before: "flat in on your back with your legs elevated & be sure to wear the the compression hose."