“Fear Makes Strangers Of People Who Would Be Friends.” Shirley MacLaine

MASSIVE DEEP VENOUS THROMBOSIS, how I wish you had never stopped by to visit me. I was grappling with the reinvigorated giant foot stomp of depression, the job that became more demanding in time & ingenuity with no extra income, a rough patch of road on the journey called marriage, & then you had to drop by like an uninvited party guest with your offering of sever pain, anxiety & then, of course to make things just perfect- the injections!

What is you great big major phobia? Snakes? How would feel about opening your front door, only to slide into a pit with hundreds of slithering, tongue flickering reptiles, while a giant TV monitor screens a continual loop of Raiders Of The Lost Ark, Anaconda, Snakes On A Plane? That is what it is like for me to pass by the box syringes on the bathroom counter & to see the lovely bio-hazard “sharps bucket” of used needles every time I have to pee. It is a charming reminder that I get to face the needle in a few hours.


The Husband, with a certain grain of resentment (“this hurts me more than it hurts you”), has successfully given me 10 shots (5 days) in my stomach, as instructed by the dreamy Dr. Torres. This situation has not drawn us closer together. I think I have been a brave little soldier; The Husband disagrees.

The first injection: I assumed the position, on my hands & knees & biting the pillow (it just seemed to come so easily).


#2: while watching The Antonio Experience on HGTV. This was for the Husband’s advantage, although I was distracted for a moment by a questionable wall treatment.


#3: while viewing Gentlemen Prefer Blonds. I can never hear I’m Just A Little Girl From Little Rock the same way again.


#4: while doing the New York magazine crossword. 7 across answer is Jonas Salk, what a comfort!

#5: on my side & biting the pillow… an old favorite & always a winner in the past. Not so much this time.


#6: during Chelsea Lately, this helped somewhat, except I was craving some Belvedere. Please!


#7: during Ugly Betty. I tried using the actor exercise of sense imagery & as Betty had her braces removed, I remembered having my 8 years of orthodontia removed at last. This helped a bit. I only noticed the shot a great deal instead of a whole lot.


#8: a big step backwards…the moment before needle meets skin, I run to the bathroom & vomit. The Husband is very displeased. Very.

#9: to make up for #8, I take it with no Vicodin, or anxiety pill. Sort of like no foreplay & no lube. I take it like a champ.


#10: the worst yet… whiskey, Vicodin, anxiety pill & I still jerk, flinch & whimper. The Husband is furious & I consider giving myself the injections. It would be the bravest thing I have ever done; except for maybe appearing in a production of The Three Little Pigs for pre-schoolers in 1992.

Larry the Canine is not happy if I am unhappy... how do dogs know?