Chop Suey

I don’t care for buffets or pot lucks, when stoned, I have given in to both, but I don’t find any charm in either.

In a prime spot in the neighborhood, in a bulky building that has housed 6 failed food establishments in 10 years, sits the newest local eatery- The Super Buffet. I said to The Husband: “I walked by The Super Buffet & discovered that they serve Chinese, but with lots of veggie items including sesame tofu. There is a menu; you don’t have to do the buffet.”  The Husband replies: “How bad could it be? What can go wrong with Asian vegetables? We need to go ahead & try it. It supports the neighborhood.”

Of course it was terrible; you were way ahead on the punch line for this post. Indeed, it was Super Bad. We asked for menus & the idea of such a thing threw the person seating us for such a loop, that she was forced to bring out the owner from the back office. We ordered 2 vegetarian items from the menu, even after it was explained to us that the items were on the buffet, which was “all you can eat.” The husband & I observed the place filling up with dozens of fat, toothless diners with walkers (really), bringing piles of crab legs back to their tables. There was no music playing & the place is cavernous. The edgy echo of breaking crab shells & mouths sucking & slurping was our soundtrack for dinner. I couldn't even find a joke in the experience & remarked to The Husband: “I won’t even be able spin this into a blog post or a Facebook gag.”

This morning, on the way to a favorite local watering hole that serves a terrific breakfast, we passed by Super Buffet & I turned to the Husband to inform him: “Look! Super Buffet is offering 10% off. Wow!  If I won the lottery, I would buy that property & turn it into an after-hours gay sex club. That would scandalize the ‘hood. I wouldn't have to change the blacked out windows or the sign. I would call the sex club- The Super Buffet.”  The Husband retort:
“All you can eat, don’t order off the menu…”

Company

“There is a time to live in New York &
a time to leave it.”

I have not yet formed an opinion about this new-ish idea of filming Theatre pieces, opera & concerts & then being charged a hefty ticket price to watch a filmed version of the live event on a movie theatre screen. But I had an ache to see last April’s 4 performances only version of Stephen Sondheim’s Company with the NY Philharmonic & starring my boo- Neil Patrick Harris.

I shelled out $18 a piece for tickets for the Husband & Lil’Jake & your host to attend one of the screenings at noon yesterday. I have a history with Company, this production boasted a tasty cast from TV, Film & Broadway, & it was Portland Gay Pride Day & I gathered gay glorification would need to include the gay creators of this landmark musical: Stephen Sondheim, George Furth, Bob Avian, & Michael Bennett.

Getting to the theatre early & finding perfect seats, our trio settled in. Lil’ Jake & I had a nice session of our favorite game- Casting. We decided on a new film version of Guys & Dolls, since the original film is so very uneven & didn’t catch the magic of this classic, & what I find to be one of the very best NYC musicals. We decided on Vin Diesel & Ann Hathaway as Sky Masterson & Sarah Brown, with Amy Adams & Jason Segel as Adelaide & Nathan Detroit, & featuring me as Nicely-Nicely. Inspired?

I noticed that the Husband had opted out of playing & was trying to tune out the 3 minute Special Events advertisement/ promo that kept looping over & overt with evil clown music as the background. It became apparent to the full house; the operator of the program didn’t know how to perform the task.  We saw on the screen, a cursor pointing to the Dish Network Menu, choosing Special Event- Company, but she/he/it was not able to get the thing started. The clown music & narration about how lucky we were to be at the theatre continued as the audience began to get surly & the Husband began to go mad.

The event got off to a jerky start, with the sound not working properly for the first 5 minutes. I felt this was portentous & we were in for a terrible afternoon. I suspected that rabid Christian Right Wing warriors tricked us with the promise of Sondheim, & with the musical theatre queers & liberals held captive in the theatre, they might gas us all or simply play that endless loop until we might kill each other.

Company turned out to actually be a dream of an experience.  What might be lost in the experience of actual live theatre was made up for in seeing the nuance of the actors’ work, & being able to understand each & every syllable of the shockingly stunning Sondheim lyrics.

I held back my consternation at the casting of TV actors: Stephen Colbert, Jon Cryer & Christina Hendricks, & had considered  the consummation of the Broadway vets: Neil Patrick Harris, who made a career for himself on Broadway between the time TV turned him out & the time it took him back;  2 time Tony nominee- Martha Plimpton, Katie Finneran, who won a Tony last year for a 7 minute role in Promises, Promises, & hunky Craig Bierko, who's done revivals of The Music Man & Guys & Dolls, & Anika Noni Rose, who nailed the very big number- Another Hundred People. & of course there was Patti LuPone who is, of course, Patti LuPone.

I would do it again if they were smart enough to offer Daniel Radcliff in How To Succeed In Business Without Really Trying, Sutton Foster in Anything Goes, or Bernadette Peters in Follies (now playing at The Kennedy Center with a possible Broadway transfer).

I received the Original Broadway cast album of Company for Christmas 1970. My parents were smart that way. Company was considered a revolutionary musical, with no conventional plot, & instead is a series of vignettes with no chronological order & songs that comment on the action, instead of moving it forward. I was revolutionized by it, for certain.

I had my first important adult affair that summer. I had spent the summer in my first professional engagement as an actor doing Summer Stock in Coeur d’ Alene, Idaho. We performed 4 musicals in repertory & when all 4 shows were up & running, the rest of the summer was sunning, swimming, smoking & sexing. Ron was an older man, at 24years old, he was actually finished with university. He spent the summer teaching me, at 17 years old, how to give & receive love & pleasure from another man. The Broadway Cast Recording of Company was often our soundtrack.

Here I am being introduced to singer/actor Jack Wrangler circa 1971.

After the theatre season was over in September, I actually convinced my parents to let me fly from Spokane to San Francisco. I stayed with Ron at his perfect Russian Hill apartment. He showed me his city & introduced me to his friends, gay men in the late 20s-50s. I liked being looked up & down. I had never been with a group of gay people before. Ron treated me to a night at the theatre. We saw Company with the original cast, minus Larry Kert, who was replaced by George Chakiris. When we got back to his place, I found a way to thank him for the summer romance & the 3 day weekend in my new favorite city.

That is what I thought about on Portland’s Gay Pride Day. I remember those first carefully chosen moments when I realized I could be open & out for the first time. I discovered that there was a city full of gay people. I decided that summer that I would not be tragic. I would make a happy life. I would meet a man who loved me. I would perform in Sondheim musicals. I might figure out a way to make this gay thing work for me.

Who Killed Teddy Bear?

For all his good work in films, when I think of Sal Mineo... I think of this film. Back in the crazy 1990s, the Husband & I caught a rare showing of Who Killed Teddy Bear? at a revival house in the U District if Seattle. This grim little story is crammed with homoerotic references throughout, although the tale is a typical boy-stalks-girl thing. The censors didn’t object & since the outcome satisfied all the code requirements, the filmakers let everything else go. Mineo's wardrobe consists of snug underwear, skimpy swim briefs or form fitting tee shirts & skin tight jeans.



He's a shirtless body builder & porno book browser, too. In contrast, the object of is attentions is almost demure. Juliet Prowse, long past her glory days in Frank Sinatra & Elvis Presley musicals, gets a dance number with Mineo, but most of the time she's bundled up in nightgowns & bathrobes. She has a full length mirror in her bedroom reflecting onto the street & she doesn't hang up when she hears heavy breathing on her telephone. She is my kind of girl.



Who Killed Teddy Bear? teaches us all a lesson about straying to the seamy side of sexual obsession. When things heat up,the film offers lyrical visual interludes, suggesting the child like innocence that is destroyed by our, & by that I mean- my twisted sexual fantasies. Maybe these efforts are to distract the viewer from the cheap nightclub where Mineo & Prowse work, as well as the horrifying soundtrack. You can't beat this film for sordid moments: detective Jan Murray listens to recorded conversations of perverts while his real-life daughter Diane Moore tries to sleep in the next room, nightclub owner Elaine Stritch (Elaine Stritch!) protests too much when Prowse accuses her of a lesbian advance, & there’s the very weird relationship Mineo has with his sister. For a journey into sexual paranoia circa 1965, Who Killed Teddy Bear? has it all. Check it out!

You're My First, My Last, My Everything

We were married, on our 25th Anniversary of being a couple, in Vancouver B.C., on the roof of a building with a beautiful view of that singularly striking skyline. Our dear friends from Seattle- Ken & Eiric (this summer they celebrated 24 years) stood up for us. We wrote our own vows & had not shared them with each other. We became teary eyed when, independent of each, we both quoted the same song lyric as a section of each of our pledges to love each other forever.

That song lyric was from You’re The First, The Last, My Everything by 5 time Grammy Award winner Barry White, known for his rich bass voice & romantic image. White's greatest success came in the 1970s as a solo singer & with his Love Unlimited Orchestra, crafting many sexy hits of soul, funk, & disco songs that I used for background music for seduction & sex. A worldwide favorite, White had many platinum albums & singles, with combined sales of over 100 million, & he helped get me laid countless times. Thanks, Barry, I needed your assistance.

Barry White left this world in the summer of 2003, just when I needed him the most. Today marks the 66th year of the day of his birth.


These are just a few of the vintage photographs of male couples from my collection of 100+. I love to study them & wonder about the subjects. I make up names & back stories for them, click on an image to enlarge:

My first, my last, my everything,
& the answer to all my dreams.
You're my sun, my moon, my guiding star.
My kind of wonderful, that's what you are.

I know there's only, only one like you
There's no way they could have made two.
You're, you're all I'm living for
Your love I'll keep for evermore.
You're the first, my last, my everything.

In you I've found so many things,
A love so new, only you could bring.
Can't you see if you,
You'll make me feel this way,
You're like a first morning dew on a brand new day.
I see so many ways that I can love you,
'Till the day I die...

You're my reality, yet I'm lost in a dream.
You're my first, my last, my everything.

I know there's only one, only one like you
There's no way they could have made two.
You're my reality.
But I'm lost in a dream,
You're the first, you're the last, my everything.