I learned about
Movember today when Neil informed me that he will be growing a Magical, Seussical, Discobilly Rock'stache on his face this month. Not just a wee moustache, but the kind of moustache that will lash out and slap knaves and french kiss damsels for minutes at a time in a frenzy of manliness as they pass him on the street. A MANSTACHE, you guys.
It's okay, though.. I know it's not HIM kissing the damsels: it's that impetuous, masculine moustache. The moustache that is even now, forming under his skin; a frail, fetal moustache; for today he had to shave off all his facial hair in preparation of the human landscaping that is to take over and reform his entire visage.
What will happen???
A moustache is a strong statement, and much like a hat, I
do believe that wearing it changes the personality of its proprietor. Tweaks it. De-muttonchop a muttonchopped Scot and you will have a sad, wilted man. Strip a man of his handle-barred coif and prepare to duel. That's how men are. Protective of their moustaches. They manicure them like bonzai trees, with tiny scissors and a keen eye for rounding out their glorious lip-pelts. Neil will be a busy bee this month, alright.
Will it emerge from his pregnant follicles and be the kind of moustache that he can pet and name, like a friendly little squirrel, wintering on his face? The kind that grows great, long icicles on cold winter mornings, that dangle from his tendrils of moustache and hang dangerously over the children? Will it command the attention of even the most reluctant of media hounds? Will it sweep along the behind him, creating a zephyr of mystery everywhere he goes? Will it be able to bench press 300? Something in the air has shifted. I feel like things are about to change, you guys.
Oh please, Oh please be like this one!We are even now, scouring name books and wondering what kind of moustache it will be when it matures into a ripe, vessel of manlyman hair. With proper guidance, Neil's moustache will become the Chief of all the moustaches, commanding reverence and homage from the frail and huddled moustaches of the world- It will inspire and conquer humanity and possibly be so manly that all prostate cancer in the world will simply shrink away in shame... for that is the purpose of the Movember Moustache- to raise money and wage facial hair war on prostate cancer.
Moustache-a-licious
Will there be mutton chops to accompany his Scottish heritage? Will we need to seek out and purchase moustache wax? Do they even make that stuff?? The journey has begun to unravel... I will keep you updated.
And hey! I blogged! Yay me! This is just the kind of thing I need to end my blogblock. :D
PS... To donate to Neil's Movember Moustache War on Prostate Cancer, go
here:
http://ca.movember.com/mospace/988998/
