Red Dress

The husband thought it was lovely for Portland to throw him a birthday party with thousands of people in red dresses.

I had been a follower & a fan of their blogs for a considerable amount of time. We live in the same city &  we know some of the same people, but we had never met in person... until last night. A. Lewis of Spirit of St. Louis & his partner Blair of Blair's Corner were not only attending the infamous Red Dress Party, but just like the the Husband & I, they were staying at the Jupiter Hotel & were entertaining out-of-town guests. Meeting A & Blair was a bit intimidating. You never know if what works on the blogs will work in person, but they turned out to be charming & sexy. Our brief meeting was convivial, & added to making the entire escapade even more memorable.

 The twins-WCK3 & Edmond with your host

As fate would have it, our rooms were 4 doors away from each other at the Jupiter Hotel & they were partying with acquaintances of ours. Portland can seem like a small town sometimes. Really. The party was amazing as always. The Husband, a designer & artist, has pointed out that we don't see a whole lot of red in our daily lives: a sports card, a bit of lipstick, a rose, a drop of blood. One of the most astonishing things about Red Dress is viewing a sea of red: thousands of men & women in red dresses dancing their asses off. We enjoyed too many cocktails & great music by DJ Harmonix, dancing by Body Vox & a lots of flirting with hot sexy men in red dresses.

 The Post Apocalyptic Bohemian is happy to be wedged between A. Lewis & Blair at last!

Jake & Kent were the hit of the evening.

Photo by Marty Davis @ JustOut

The theme of the party this year was- REDRUM & in that spirit, my buddy Jake & his new beau- Kent were the stars of the evening in their twin bellhop outfits . The Husband was dressed in a tantalizing  bustier & tiny crinoline petticoat. WCK3 & his high school (& now ours) buddy- Edmond were twin Grace Kelly-ish guests of Mr. Jack Torrence. I was aiming for a Twiggy look, albeit a chubby & hairy Twiggy & regular of Lloyd the Bartender's. It was great fun, but not easy for a man with Deep Vein Thrombosis to get through the evening. I should have not been on the dance floor, but flat on my back with my legs in the air... but the weekend is no quite over.

The Husband in front of one of his assemblages- $2 Bills... what right does a 60 year old man have to look this hot?

"A Dress Makes No Sense Unless It Inspires Men To Take It Off of You." Francoise Sagan

Alright, we are both thought to be a little nutty, or possibly a lot nutty, but my charming, handsome & talented husband has a monkey on his back. It may even be stronger than my avidity for whiskey, pizza & muscle daddies. It seems that the Husband is powerless to the suggestion that he must have products advertised on television’s infommercials in order to have a productive & fulfilling life.


We are the proud owners of such devices & products as Sonic Grout Cleaner, Smart Wet/Dry Mop, Mighty-Putty, Dog Hair-No More, All-In- One Ratchet Set, Easy Screw Screwdriver Set, Point & Paint, Raccoon-Be-Gone Wolf Urine, Chamease, Colon Xtra Cleanse, The Ultimate Push-Up, PowerBall Core Trainer, & The Firm DVD Set (this device has nothing to do with Tom Cruise). If the cocaine hadn’t killed Billy Mays, I might have had to.

 I keep looking for a Scientologist-Be–Gone Spray. I wanted to market my own product-HARDAWAY, which comes in a pocket size spray container: “Embarrassed on the bus, trouble at work? Try new pocket ready Steve’s Hardaway, to instantly get rid of those pesky, unwanted erections! Never be afraid to stand up & move away from your work computer again!” But then I realized the image of David Gest or Bruce Jenner would have the same effect.

Before he left on Thursday morning on a 48 hour sojourn to Seattle for a design trade show, the Husband confessed that he was expecting his new Ab-Doer Twist (it is only 4 easy payments!), because- “it is only 4 weeks until the Red Dress Party. This is from a man who is 5’11’ & weighs 148 pounds & has a 29 inch waist.

The Husband

(click on image to enlarge)

My blogger pal Spirit Of St Louis, has a funny post about choosing his red dress (something about chaffed nipples) for this important & gala Portland event. This year is the 10th annual Red Dress which has raised more than $152,000 for local organizations that support important issues in the gay community. Everyone must be wearing a red dress to gain admittance . I love when men are wearing red dresses with no attempt at drag. You gotta love a hunky, hairy man in a red frock.

Your host, looking dishearteningly like Brenda Vacarro

The Husband has pointed out that the color red is not seen that much in daily life: a sports car, a splash of lipstick, a throw pillow, a rose, & to come upon a sea of 3000+ people all in red is a startling & visually exciting experience. This will be our 3rd Red Dress. In the past, we have spent months shopping for the right dress, & we have rented a limo to take us & friends to the venue. Under the new austerity program, this year we are re-purposing past outfits & taking a cab. I may even forgo the tradition of taking Extacy, but I love to spend 5 hours dancing my ass off. Included in this post is your very own Post Apocalyptic Bohemian & the husband & friends at a past pre-party at our humble abode.

Best Man at our wedding & hunky yoga instructor-Eiric

My trouble making friend & perpetual bad boy- Kevin
Note Larry the canine on the floor with devil eyes