It's A Sin

A woman pacing near me while waiting for the MAX train, stops & spits out: “What you do is a sin!”

I smile & state: “Baby, it is if you do it right.”

When I look back upon my life

It's always with a sense of shame

I've always been the one to blame

For everything I long to do

No matter when or where or who

Has one thing in common, too

It's a sin

It's a sin

Everything I've ever done

Everything I ever do

Every place I've ever been

Everywhere I'm going to

It's a sin

At school they taught me how to be

So pure in thought & word & deed

They didn't quite succeed

For everything I long to do

No matter when or where or who

Has one thing in common, too

It's a sin

It's a sin

Everything I've ever done

Everything I ever do

Every place I've ever been

Everywhere I'm going to

It's a sin

Father, forgive me, I tried not to do it

Turned over a new leaf,
 Then tore right through it

Whatever you taught me, I didn't believe it

Father, you fought me, 'cause I didn't care

& I still don't understand

So I look back upon my life

Forever with a sense of shame

I've always been the one to blame

For everything I long to do

No matter when or where or who

Has one thing in common, too

It's a sin

Everything I've ever done

Everything I ever do

Every place I've ever been

Everywhere I'm going to

It’s a sin

Lowe/Tennant

1987

Born On This Day- April 16th... Dusty Springfield

For me personally, she is one of the most important recording artists of my considerable lifetime. Her music has moved me, thrilled me & comforted me for nearly 50 years.  For me, the album- Dusty In Memphis is a perfect LP & in my top 5 albums of all time.

Dusty Springfield was an unlikely celebrity. Mary Isobel Catherine Bernadette O'Brien was London born on this day in 1939, a month before that start of WW2. She started life as an Irish Catholic schoolgirl, yet she gained stardom as a sultry singer of soul, the "white girl singing black music."

Her love for other women was forbidden & in the UK at the time, illegal. The most frustrating thing for any creative person must be an inability to express in your work the things that mean the most to you. Art is inspired by our strongest emotions, including love & desire. It must be difficult to write, compose, paint or act when your own feelings of love & desire are considered off limits to most of society. Like most of the great gay artists in history, we have found innovative ways of sidestepping the heterosexual expectations of the public yet covertly conveying our constrained emotions in our work.

Springfield’s sexuality is at the heart of the melancholy & vulnerability that she brings her recordings, including this one. Her songs go straight to my heart: How Can I Be Sure, All Cried Out, I Close My Eyes & Count To Ten, Some of Your Lovin’, The Look of Love, You Don’t Have To Say You Love Me, & my personal favorite, her really truly devastating version of I Just Don’t Know What To Do With Myself. She does more than sell the song; she inhabits & makes them her own in the way that only the true great artists can do.


With a strong, masculine countenance but a feminine style, she appealed to gay men, lesbians. She even went one step further by studying and copying drag acts, creating the image of a woman, dressed like a man who is dressed like a woman. Gender bending & confusing to a 1960s listening public. In the press, her image was still being vigorously protected against her sexuality. Every press release stressed her Catholic faith & middle-class roots. The fact she was living with a fellow singer Norma Tanega was conveniently overlooked. after Springfield & Tanega had split up, there was always an other woman keeping her company.

Springfield also managed an iconic image for herself, tall beehive hair & thick, dark eye make-up. Her look was copied by fellow artists of the time, teenage girls, & drag queens. Her short career left an lasting legacy on modern fashion.

But she had other image matters to worry about too. Having become an expert in all aspects of sound recording, the male dominated industry felt resentment by this young woman who seemed to know it all. She also had a sharp ear for quality & a perfectionist approach to her work. Women were simply not allowed to lean across the mixing desk & proceed to take over. Soon, she had acquired the unfair reputation for being difficult & eccentric. Most producers braced themselves for an argument when they heard that Dusty Springfield would be in their studio that day.


Her headstrong ways & strong working knowledge of the technical aspects of recording did not endear Springfield to the professional male dominated professional musical community, but she certainly enchanting her fans.

In 1964, while on tour in South Africa, & with no real interest in politics, she found it abhorrent that it was illegal to perform a concert to a mixed audience. But there was a loophole in the law presented to her that allowed live performances to mixed audiences as long as they were in a movie theatre. Springfield booked the biggest cinema she could find & played to a large mixed audience. When she arrived back at her hotel, Springfield & her entourage were placed under arrest & deported from the country immediately. Back home the public loved her for it. She was hailed as an anti-apartheid hero.


Springfield was at her apex in the mid-1960s. She had several hit albums, a #1 single-You Don’t Have to Say You Love Me, & her own TV show. She had also been credited as the woman who brought Motown to the UK. But in the early 1970s, when I loved her the most, Springfield’s style was pushed aside in preference for more experimental styles & songs with a strong political message. Her simple love songs & throaty jazzy voice, began to lose popularity.


Springfield was sucked into the spiral of drink, drugs & the party culture. She abused a variety substances on a daily basis. The pressure of her double life manifested itself in cutting, depression & a desire to avoid the spotlight. Then an album she had started to record for Atlantic Records was shelved due to her ‘poor mental health’.

Aghast at the abandoned album, Springfield moved to LA & dropped deeper drug abuse, alcohol & self harm. Abandoning her career, she spent most of the 1970s living late nights of partying & drug taking. Her cutting so severe that on several occasions, she was hospitalized.

Late in the 1970s Springfield had begun to speak openly about her attraction to both sexes, although she was never known to ever have had a boyfriend. The poor press she received for coming out devastated Springfield. She told her parents she was gay, but far from outraged, they laughed & did not take the situation seriously. This seemed to hurt her even more.


In the 1980s Springfield’s drug abuse was at an all-time high. She continued to enjoy short-lived affairs with women in the music industry, including Rough Trade’s lead singer, Carol Pope. Her recordings made little impact & had low sales . Springfield was constantly between rehab or the hospital.

Salvation came in 1987 when her long time fans the Pet Shop Boys asked her to collaborate with them . The resulting record,-What Have I Done to Deserve This was a worldwide smash hit & one of my favorite singles ever. All of a sudden, the 48 year-old faded star was among the smart set again. Pet Shop Boys to produce an album for her. Her life started to get better. No drugs & no long nights partying. More hits singles followed.

In 1994, just as Springfield was riding high again in 1994, she was diagnosed with breast cancer. She seemed beating the cancer, but remission was to be short lived. For several years, she fought against the second bout of cancer. Before long, it was clear that this time, there would be no remission. Springfield lived with lifelong friend & backing singer, Simon Bell, who took care of her.

On New Year’s 1999, Springfield was awarded an Order of the British Empire for her contribution to music. Too sick to make the ceremony, her long time manager, Vicki Wickham, with permission from Queen Elizabeth 2, picked up the award on her behalf. It was carried directly to Springfield & given to her in front of a few friends, & her doctor. On the day when Springfield would have received the award, she lost her fight against cancer. Her funeral took over the small town where she had spent the end of her life- of Henley, & the service was attended by thousands of mourners including Elvis Costello, Lulu, Elton John & Pet Shop Boys. 10 days after her death. her friend Sir Elton inducted Springfield into the Rock N’ Roll Hall of Fame, stating: “She was the greatest white singer of all time”.

If Love Were All

Coward by Loomis Dean, 1964

Here is something that I very much enjoy, since readers have asked: sitting by a roaring fire in the fireplace, nursing a whiskey while I give a listen to 20th Century Blues, a compilation album of Noel Coward songs by current artists. Pet Shop Boys do a cover of my favorite Noel Coward song- If Love Were All that is perfectly recast as a Pet Shop Boy's style song.

I believe in doing what I can

Crying when I must,

& laughing when I choose

Hey ho, if love were all

I would be lonely

I believe the more you love a man

The more you put your trust,

the more you're bound to lose

Although, when shadows fall,

I think if only somebody splendid

really needed me

Someone affectionate & dear

Cares would be ended if I knew that he wanted to have me near

But I believe that since my life began

The most I've had is just
 A talent to amuse

Hey ho, if love were all

Coward

1929

I Can Do A Few Tricks, Some Old & Then Some New Tricks, I'm Very Versatile

I don't presume to speak for him, but I believe The Husband's favorite Sondheim show is A Little Night Music, which he saw in London in 1974, with Jean Simmons. He saw me in this show, before we had been introduced. I still hope he was impressed.

My favorite changes with my considerable moodiness, but because I am a misanthrope & a pessimist, I go for Follies.

This evening, as I consider a lifetime of being moved by his music... I choose this as my favorite Sondheim Song:

Perfect For This Time Of Year 3- VAMPIRES By Pet Shop Boys

Brother, it don't matter
Sister, don't worry
Say what you like
I'll do what you want me to do
You're a vampire
I'm a vampire too


Sun in the kitchen
Boy, you're still sleeping
When you get hungry
I'll do what you want me to do
You're a vampire
I'm a vampire too

Night in the city
New Orleans pretty
Do what you want
& then can I do it to you?
You're a vampire
I'm a vampire too


You're a vampire
I'm a vampire too

It's a reflex
Just a reflex
like fear or sex


Brother, it don't matter
Sister, don't worry
Say what you like
I'll do what you want me to do


You're a vampire
I'm a vampire too


You're a vampire
I'm a vampire too

Born On This Day- July 10th...Pet Shop Boy Neil Tennant

I was driving across the University Bridge in beautiful, exciting Seattle on a rainy autumn afternoon circa 1985. I heard a song on the radio & I was gobsmacked. I had to pull over once I had crossed the bridge. The song was called West End Girls. I had crossed the bridge to the world of Pet Shop Boys & I have never been the same. The lyrics & singing of Neil Tennant have been a major part of my life since that afternoon. I think I have everything by them including imports, rarities & B sides, including a big fat "coffee table" book of their concert sets & costumes. Pet Shop Boys have sold 50 million records, & have had 42 Top 30 Singles & 22 Top Ten Hits. They released a terrific new album- YES in April of this year. Pet Shop Boys have been making original & literate music for 24 years. Before becoming a musician Neil was a writer & editor of comic books & he interviewed many rock stars for the music press. I think that the insightful, urbane, dry, witty lyrics by Neil Tennant are among the finest ever written:

BEING BORING
I came across a cache of old photos
And invitations to teenage parties
"Dress in white" one said, with quotations
From someone's wife, a famous writer
In the nineteen-twenties
When you're young you find inspiration
In anyone who's ever gone
And opened up a closing door
She said: "We were never feeling bored
'Cause we were never being boring
We had too much time to find for ourselves
And we were never being boring
We dressed up and fought, then thought: "Make amends"
And we were never holding back or worried that
Time would come to an end"
When I went I left from the station
With a haversack and some trepidation
Someone said: "If you're not careful
You'll have nothing left and nothing to care for
In the nineteen-seventies"
But I sat back and looking forward
My shoes were high and I had scored
I'd bolted through a closing door
I would never find myself feeling bored
'Cause we were never being boring
We had too much time to find for ourselves
And we were never being boring
We dressed up and fought, then thought: "Make amends"
And we were never holding back or worried that
Time would come to an end
We were always hoping that, looking back
You could always rely on a friend
Now I sit with different faces
In rented rooms and foreign places
All the people I was kissing
Some are here and some are missing
In the nineteen-nineties
I never dreamt that I would get to be
The creature that I always meant to be
But I thought in spite of dreams
You'd be sitting somewhere here with me
'Cause we were never being boring
We had too much time to find for ourselves
And we were never being boring
We dressed up and fought, then thought: "Make amends"
And we were never holding back or worried that
Time would come to an end
We were always hoping that, looking back
You could always rely on a friend
And we were never being boring
We had too much time to find for ourselves
And we were never being boring
We dressed up and fought, then thought: "Make amends"
And we were never being boring
We were never being bored
'Cause we were never being boring
We were never being bored

new Pet Shop Boys

The new Pet Shop Boys album- YES is released next Tuesday. I am a just a little excited.
Here is a first look at the new video:


Am I their biggest fan?