Born On This Day- February 7th... Olympian Mark Tewksbury

2012... Leap Year, Republican & Democratic conventions & the Presidential Election, The End Of The World, & the London Summer Olympics!

Johnny Weissmuller, Ian Thorpe, Matt Biondi, Michael Phelpes, & of course Mark Spitz... I am zany for Olympic swimmers! Olympic medalist Mark Tewksbury was closeted throughout his competitive swimming career, but since coming out has become an advocate for GLTB rights. Going into Barcelona, Tewksbury was ranked 4th in the world & most experts picked one of the powerful American swimmers to win gold. Tewksbury's gold medal was Canada's first at the Barcelona games and the first Canadian gold in swimming since the 1984 Los Angeles Olympics, which Russia boycotted. Tewksbury also won a bronze medal in the relay event in Barcelona. He made the cover of Time magazine. He was inducted into the Canadian Olympic Hall of Fame, the Canadian Sports Hall of Fame, & the International Swimming Hall of Fame & was named Canada’s Male Athlete of the Year.

In December 1998, Tewksbury announced that he was gay. He was the first Canadian athlete to voluntarily state his homosexuality & his announcement drew great public attention. In 1998, he lost a 6-figure contract as a motivational speaker because he was "too openly gay."

Like many gay athletes, Tewksbury competed for years while in the closet. Tewksbury: "The only gay swimmer I knew of was Greg Louganis & he was spoken of terribly behind the scenes because of his sexuality. So in that regard, it pushed me further back into the closet."

In 2006, Tewksbury wrote an book: Inside Out: Straight Talk from a Gay Jock, in which he speaks of the infighting among organizers of the Olympics, as well as the Gay Games & newly formed Out Games. He resigned from the International Olympic Committee over the lack of accountability, accusing the IOC of rampant corruption. He was also part of a group of former Olympic athletes who pushed for the resignation of IOC President Juan Antonio Samaranch. Only months after the scandal surrounding the Salt Lake City Games broke, Tewksbury became known as a critic of the IOC & demanded reforms to the system.

Tewksbury: “I gazed around the room slowly. The best swimmers from Russia, Cuba, the United States, Spain, Germany and France were in front of me. & I was different. I was the fag. & in that moment I owned my truth completely. I thought, ‘If these guys knew how hard it was for me to get here, they wouldn't believe it. They have no bloody clue what I have been through. Or how strong I am.’ ”

Tewksbury is candid about embarrassing, humorous & unflattering things about his personal life, including his involvement in a serious 3way relationship with a gay couple & his persistent pursuit of a professional male escort.
 In December 2008 Tewksbury was invited by the government of France to speak at the United Nations in NYC on the day that a declaration was introduced that affirms gay rights & seeks to decriminalize homosexuality around the globe.

In 2009 Tewksbury was inducted into Canada's LGBT Human Rights Hall of Fame, the Q Hall of Fame Canada, in honor of his outstanding achievements & efforts to end discrimination in the sports world. he has been named the chef de mission of the 2012 Canadian Summer Olympic team.

Tewksbury lives on Canada with his husband- Benjamin Kiss, a Swiss figure skater. He turns 43 years old today.

Born On This Day... January 29th- Olympic Champion Gregory Efthimios Louganis

 It takes real tenacity to keep having a crush on someone for 34 years, but here I am, still dreamy over Louganis, who continues to be devastatingly handsome as he turns 51 years old .He spends his mornings in a spin class, followed by 90 minutes of yoga. He takes daily naps. His afternoons are devoted to his true passion, training dogs in obedience & agility. Louganis lives in Malibu with 2 Jack Russell terriers, & a border collie.

The Husband & I caught Oprah last week on what was actually advertised as her “gayest show ever'. Oprah & Gayle’s Yosemite camping adventure was darn gay, but not as gay as 25 years of clips from shows on LGBTXYZ issues. This special show about her 25 years of supporting the gay community brought back some of her most memorable guests, including the Olympic gold medalist diver Greg Louganis who came out as an HIV+ gay man way back in 1995.

Louganis is the greatest diver in US history . He broke onto the Olympic scene when he won a silver medal at the age of 16 in the Montreal games of 1976. He went on to win 2 back to back double Olympic gold medals & multiple world championships.

We watched in horror as it happened & it was shocking because Louganis was true diving perfection. We love watching Olympic sports & the Husband had just said- "I just love to watch Louganis. He just pierces the water like a dart.” Louganis’s greatest moments came, ironically, after his worst dive. Seeking another gold medal in the Seoul Olympics of 1988, Louganis attempted a very difficult reverse 2 1/2 pike dive in the preliminary round. During the dive, he struck his head on the board, & suffered a large laceration on his head. Amazingly, despite his concussion, he finished the preliminary round & repeated the dive in the finals, receiving record-setting scores on the way to another gold medal. The performance earned him the ABC Sports’ Athlete of the Year in 1988. . Louganis described the embarrassment & fear that he felt after the aborted dive. "I knew I had a responsibility to tell the doctor about my HIV status as he sewed my head up."


In 1994 Louganis announced to the world that he was gay. In Breaking The Surface, published in the year 1995, detailed a relationship of domestic abuse & rape. His partner threatened to blackmail him if he tried to leave. "I boxed myself into the relationship with my feelings about my HIV status. I thought, `who will touch me?' But I knew that to survive, I had to get out. It was a big step for me to build the self-esteem I needed to have the confidence to leave." It was in that book that he disclosed to the world that he was HIV positive, having been diagnosed a few months before the Seoul Games. Most of his corporate sponsors dropped him as a client when they heard the news of his HIV status. Swimsuit manufacturer Speedo was the only exception & retained him as an endorser of their swimwear until 2007.

Louganis tours the country speaking about issues that affected him throughout his life: HIV, chronic depression, learning disabilities & diversity (he is Samoan & Nordic). Louganis also travels around with other athletes including Peggy Fleming, Bruce Jenner & Jackie Joyner-Kersee as they discuss living with long term illnesses. Louganis says he wants to be remembered as more than an athlete. “I want to be remembered as a strong& graceful diver, but as a person, I want to be remembered as someone who made a difference.”

Let The Games Begin

It is a little zany that for 2 weeks every 4 years, I get all involved in & excited about sports that I never care about any other time. We call it The Winter Olympic Games, & I suddenly develop a passion for Luge & male Speed Skater’s thighs.

The Husband DVR-ed the Opening Ceremonies of the Winter Olympics last night, & although I have not watched all of it yet, the sections that I saw were astounding. I was not sure that anything could top the Beijing Games opener, but I thought the section with a very cute boy- Ècole nationale de cirque student Thomas Saulgrain doing the best flying I have ever seen, was breathtaking. Joni Mitchell’s Both Sides Now (not the original, but the older, deeper voiced  & older Joni with the London Philharmonic) was the perfect soundtrack for the prairie tribute with young Thomas walking, running, then soaring through fields of gold. He continued with beautiful cartwheels, spins & rolls in the air, over a hologram prairie.


On the floor of the stadium, a landscape of ice virtually broke apart & turned the floor of BC Place into an ocean in which Orcas & salmon swam across to amazing effect. The section combined 2-D reality with 3-D effects to make for a most technologically impressive moment. I thought Canadian born Donald Sutherland’s voice was an inspired choice for the narration.

The real highlight was native k.d. lang, who captivated the arena singing Canadian Leonard Cohen’s Hallelujah barefooted, as the audience lit up the stadium. Another openly gay presence was my long time favorite, punk fiddler Ashley MacIsaac (known for wearing nothing under his kilt in concert).


If I could choose to live anywhere in the world, I would pick Vancouver, British Columbia. This city has always astounded me with it’s beauty & it’s international cosmopolitan vibe. The Husband & I have been there many times, in all 4 seasons & I can tell you, Vancouver is all that. The beautiful Canadian Coast Range comes right down into the city. Seattle is beautiful also & has spectacular mountain views, but the Cascades & the Olympics are an hour away from the city. In Vancouver you can actually see the lights of the night skiiers on Grouse Montain from downtown.

I love the vertical glass skyline of the core city. We once stayed in a garden cottage, part of a B&B- Oh, Canada House (the home that the country’s nation anthem was composed in) & there we were in this charming cottage with a fireplace, & we were surrounded by glass skyscrapers on all 4 sides. Discombobulating & thrilling. Another visit found us having cocktails on a top floor revolving restaurant when the entire city experienced a black-out, & we watched as each section of the city turned dark one by one.


Of all our Vancouver visits & adventures, the most meaningful & special was getting married on our 25th anniversary as a couple, on a lovely rooftop with a view of the city as a backdrop. We had each written our own vows & had not disclosed them to each other. At the ceremony, attended by our best men- Ken & Eiric (together as a couple 25 years now), we spoke our vows & we had both chosen to cite the same song lyrics as the basis of our short speeches- My First, My Last, My Everything by Barry White. There was not a dry eye at that wedding. The only thing that could have made that day more perfect would have been to have Joni Mitchell & k.d. lang as our vocalists accompanied by Ashley McIssac on fiddle & to have had a dazzeling acrobat twirling overhead. But, it was a very simple event & not an Olympic Opening Ceremony.

Dressing for Success, or at least in order to leave the house...

OK, so I started looking at my pregnant body today as I stepped out of the shower. I know, I know-this is a stupid thing for a pregnant woman to do. My older sister said "well what did you go and do that for?" But I am always amazed that not only the belly gets big (mine looks like I have a helium balloon floating under my shirt) but the rear end gets big as well. I can usually be confident that when I look in the mirror (non-pregnant) and I will not see so much cellulite-this is a gift my mother gave to her daughters and I am very thankful. Well, my back side and legs look like my husband's brand new red truck did after it was left out in an Arizona hail storm back in 1993--dented, and believe me these are dents that no insurance company will pay to remove! I decided that maybe I would look better if I had a tan--you know, the whole "tan cellulite looks better than pale cellulite" way of thinking. I rummaged through my bathroom cabinet for my tan-in-a-can and went to work. I didn't realize that I would need to use so much, but by the time I was done and the smoke had cleared I felt a little better about myself... even if the fumes from the spray were making me light-headed. I then walked out of the bathroom, careful not to touch anything for fear that my tan would be wiped away and waddled with my arms in the air to the closet. What to wear, what to wear... seeing as it is cold I decided to wear something warm but not a turtleneck-I wanted to show off my tan after all. This is what it is like for a pregnant woman (me) to get herself dressed:

1. pull on maternity underwear and bra that is not maternity (because I refuse to start wearing a nursing bra when I am only 28 weeks!) and listen as the wires in the bra basically squeak from being pulled to the limits. It is no joke, my bra makes sounds. When I am walking I can hear the faint squeak with every stride. One of these days my bra will go on strike and start picketing.
2. pull on maternity jeans that do not look good on anyone... not even the model on the tag! Sway back and forth as you pull the pants up over the rear and belly alternating hips to and fro so that you get the pants at just the right spot on your hips, only to have them fall down the moment you sit down or bend over. (My sister-in-law, who is also pregnant recently had the "underwear peek show" with her maternity jeans--I feel for you sista!)
3. Pull on a "Bella band" a new thing that I have for this pregnancy. It is a fabric band that goes over your pants/belly and is supposed hold up your pants. It is a pill to get on though, this may be because I ordered a size one (for pre-pregnancy sizes 0-8) Well, any sane woman knows that pre-pregnancy size has NOTHING to do with pregnancy size, but there was no way I was going to order a bigger size--I already know I am big, I do not need to be mocked by my clothing! Getting this Bella band on is about impossible-but after a few minutes and some heavy panting it is snugly in place. It is like a girdle for pregnant ladies, and like Dolly Parton said in Steel Magnolia's "These thighs haven't left the house without lycra on them since I was 12."
4. Put on support tank top. This is to aid the bra in the job of holding up the twins who have surely increased in size and weight but I am still in denial about this--as #1 explains.
5. Put on top that makes it look like I just went out in the garage and found my husband's Coleman tent and put it on. I am talking about the two-man tent, the family size tent with the extra rooms would be just silly.
6. Finally-it is sock and shoe time. They ought to make an Olympic event out of this because it takes a lot of training and skill to achieve this feat without either falling over, or passing out from lack of oxygen to your brain because you cannot breathe when you are bent over your belly for longer than2 seconds.

So, after I was finished dressing I realized that the only tan I probably had left was on my elbows but I no longer cared. Why was I trying to get tan anyway-I am fully covered by layers of clothing!

I headed to the grocery store with the kids-but we first stopped at the BX (the Base exchange on our military base). I flipped through the maternity clothes but decided not to try anything on because I did not have the energy and I did not want anyone calling the MP's because of all of the grunting and moaning that is involved in trying on clothes. I decided to stick to an area that was safe for me--the make up aisle. My children and I proceeded to spend the next hour going through make up and jewelry. My youngest daughter and my son entertained themselves by switching price tags on items while my oldest daughter and I turmoiled over what shade of blush for me to buy. This is a good time to let you know that I do not wear blush-I do not wear a lot of make-up. I am basically a mascara only kind of gal unless I am going out for the evening. My husband calls make-up "war paint" and I figure I have lost the battle so what is the point.

We walked out of the BX with 3 shades of nail polish, 2 shades of blush, jewelry cleaner, and a scale. Why a scale you ask? Well, I want to be prepared the next time I go to the Doctor and they INSIST on weighing me. I don't want to stand like a deer in headlights when I hear to the nurse gasp and "tsk" as she writes down my weight and compares it to last months and I don't want to feel guilty when my chubby male doctor tell me that I need to lay off the fast food. If he gets me on a bad day, I may just tell him the same-and then some. No, I want to be ready-no more preparing for the worst and hoping for the best with my weight... I am going to be aware that all hope is lost and when I leave the Dr's office I will not feel guilty going through the Arby's drive thru for a large curly fry! I am pregnant woman-HEAR ME ROAR!

After all of this, I could not face the grocery and came home. It took me a total of 10 seconds to pull off when took me 20 minutes to put on this morning and I replaced my outfit with sweat pants and a sweatshirt. Then I went to try my new blush-I have one color on each cheek... it is a look that I am sure will be the next fashion craze--just you wait and see!