Goings On At Post Apocalyptic Bohemia

North Portland is the 5^th quadrant of Portland, sometimes dubbed the “forgotten quadrant.” Considered by most citizens to be sketchy & unpleasing, those in know recognize NoPo to be the Brooklyn of the most Brooklyn of cities, outside of Brooklyn, NYC. My inner-circle taunts me about my inability to venture out of North Portland.  Since becoming a Stay-At-Home Mom, my universe has deflated to St Johns for the gym, Arbor Lodge for dog walking, Overlook  for friends & my clinic, & of course, Kenton, my neighborhood.

North Portland is a diverse mixture of residential, commercial, & industrial. It includes the Portland International Raceway, the University of Portland, & the massive cargo facilities of the Port of Portland.

NoPo is a peninsula, with the mighty Columbia River on one side & the north flowing Willamette on the other. The confluence of the 2 rivers, at Kelly Point Park, is the end of North Portland & essentially the most northern point of Portland.

The Columbia Slough, a narrow waterway, about 19 miles long, is about 10 blocks from Post Apocalyptic Bohemia. The slough is home to more than 150 bird species including eagles, 26 fish species, otters, beaver, & coyotes.  It is one of the nation's largest freshwater urban wetlands.

Lewis & Clark actually landed & walked around North Portland after learning from Native Americans that the neighborhood was on the upswing, with many gay couples & plenty of fun spot to eat & explore.

My favorite structure in Portland, The Saint Johns Bridge is located in the North Quadrant, as is the Boys’ Fort in my back garden & BOYS’ FORT, The Husband’s retail shop & design studio.

Just to challenge myself, I took the Husband on an adventure, penetrating deep into SE Portland neighborhood of Sunnyside for shopping & lunch. We stopped to spend some time knocking around with The Husband’s buddy- Bret at the Old Portland Hardware, one of the most “Portland” of my city’s retail outlets. Bret constructs & fabricates furniture & lighting from re-purposed materials. He is keen to my vintage photography collection & had held on to some choice pieces just for me. Old Portland Hardware is a special spot that you deserve to check out.

Nothing soothes being unemployed like spending a little money on something you don't need. I was thrilled with the vintage photos that I picked up to add to the collection.

Born On This Day- February 19th... Beautiful, Bodacious, Buxxom Beth Ditto

Portland has an interesting list of our local Rock celebrities including working members from: Modest Mouse, Sleater-Kinney, The Shins, Spoon, Pavement, The Dandy Warhols, Pink Martini,& the current PDX musical royalty- The Decemberists. My very own neighborhood is the home of provocative, powerful, plus-size punker & cover girl- Beth Ditto of the band- Gossip.

No wonder then that Ditto settled in NoPo. Mary Beth Patterson grew up in a 2-bedroom house in Arkansas, with her mother, 6 siblings & a heap full of stepfathers & relatives, at times there would be 12 people living in the tiny house. Her mother worked swing shift as a nurse in attempt to provide for them all. Ditto was left to her own devices, & she would sometimes shoot squirrels to eat. She would do well trying to survive in my back garden- Squirrel Central. Ditto claims that her childhood seems best summed up during a chance meeting with Bill Clinton, then governor of Arkansas: “I looked like some wild animal with bruises on my face & chocolate round my mouth. I asked him to sign my dollar bill & he said: ‘I think that’s illegal, little darlin’.’”


Desperate to make music, at 18 Ditto moved to Portland, Oregon & changed her name. Despite her bad ass voice, she wasn’t an overnight success. It took Gossip 4 albums to make it huge with Standing in the Way of Control in 2007. Being a punk is apparently no less demanding than being a fashionista. Ditto: “If you think fashion is snobby, go hang out with some punks. They are beyond elitist.”

She has been with the same woman- Freddie, for a decade+, though they don’t live together. Ditto: “We tried that once & it did not work. We got together when I was 19. I haven’t had any other experiences in my life... & I won’t.” But a surprising domesticity has crept in, as she recently bought herself a house in my neighborhood. I see her around, & of course I would like to make her acquaintance. Hanging out with Ditto at the many Portland Framers’ Markets would be hot. I would like to take her around to the neighborhood dive bars & music venues & we could determine who has the cheapest whiskey & best Tater Tots.


Ditto turns 30 today. Age & dress size.