Post Apocalyptic Bohemian Dog Days Of August

With Portland temperatures in the upper 90s for the week, my family just sacks out for the day.

Family Therapy

This weekend, after a number of problems raised their little heads in an attempt to destroy our family, at my insistence (being the only rational one), we had a long session of Family Therapy with the renowned Dr. Shlomo Sectshual.

After indulging the good doctor in some role playing & trust exercises, we each were able to open up. The very essence of each family member can be distilled in the following:

Stephen:"I believe that it is a cosmic mistake that I do not have my own TV show, magazine, bestselling book, plus the #1 dance single in the country..."

The Husband: "I am not looking for power or money or success. I am looking for aesthetic balance."

Lulu: "I have abandonment issues..."

Junior:"I never got enough love in my childhood."

Henry: “I finally became tired of being a passed around pussy.”

Lulu Lecter

Between the ages of 17-21, summer meant summer theatre. In the 1970s, I did summer stock in Coeur D' Alene Idaho, Big Fork Montana, & on Cape Cod. I was always a terrific, hard-working company member & I always got laid a lot.

This summer, I am planning on resurrecting the tradition of old-style summer theatre with a series of productions in my backyard. This summer's shows from the Kenton Players will open with my original, all-canine stage adaption of THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS. Here, in pre-production, is a shot of my dog as Lulu Lecter.

Mi Famiglia

The Power Of Pussy

I am compelled to come out of the closet. I was afraid of what society would think. I needed to face my own self loathing. I have known for some time, but I have not been strong or honest. I have stood on the sidelines as friends & co-workers came out publicly, only to be ostracized, ridiculed, fervently prayed over, & physically harmed. It didn’t take long to learn who their friends were, who tolerated them, & who would no longer have anything to do with them. But now I that I am coming out of the closet, I am discovering strength & spirit.

I feel it is my responsibility to give my top reasons to come out of the closet.

1. Honesty – You just don’t wake up one day & discover that there is something “different”... well, maybe you do. For me it was a process, like baking a cake–except here you don’t get to lick the spoon. Coming out offers you an opportunity to live an honest lifestyle. Some people will say: “It’s nobody’s concern”, except this is a big part of your own experience & that regardless of what you think, it is already everybody’s business. Coming out isn’t about the world, it’s about you. If you decide to come out, consider all the pressures that are lifted; no more lying, sneaking, or carrying the guilt. It’s that negative part of “the secret” that adds to stigma that is wrong. Revaluate why you keep hiding it. To be honest with yourself will give you power.

2. Increased Self-Esteem – Something happens after you come out. You discover other people just like you & you no longer feel isolated from the world. You feel better about yourself & your decision, which adds value to your life. Looking in the mirror becomes a beautiful thing & it gets better with time. You are not a stereotype.

3. The Power of Tolerance – Coming out not only frees you from the bonds of secrecy but it also prepares you for the rest of your  life & all it throws at you. You become more tolerant towards others. Now that I am open, I try to be tolerant of those struggling with their issues but it isn’t always easy. You realize that once upon a time you were having the same issues & magically out of nowhere, the tolerance arrived like fairy dust.

4. Accept It – Although it doesn’t define you, it is a new part of your life & only a small part of who you are. You are like a pie chart & it’s up to you to divide that pie & assign the values. Is this going to take up 1% of your existence or 99%? There’s no correct value & it will fluctuate from time to time depending on what’s going on in your life. But no matter how much value you assign to your new acceptance, avoid the things that feel dangerous or uncomfortable.


So right here, on my little spot on the Internet. I want the world to know that I am an out & proud… I have a cat. Yes, I have a cat. I can say it. I am moving past the embarrassment & shame.

Oh, no! There is a cat in the house!

Nearly a year ago, & with his harrowing hard luck story, we allowed RCK to live in our basement rather than under bridges & in parks. He brought with him, his ancient cat. RCK did something very bad & he is now in prison, leaving his few belongings & his feline in our basement.

Henry is a sagacious, very old cat with a sweet disposition. With RCK gone, I explained to The Husband that Henry could live us. I was not about to have him put down, & finding a home for a 16 year old cat on Craigslist appeared futile. So, Henry stays. But, I was firm that he would live in the basement. We could bring him upstairs on occasion & even outside if we were sitting in the back garden. I felt that Henry would be content & glad not to be on the streets. We have a nice, clean, dry basement & Henry made a cozy spot for himself on a shelf of stored linen.


Lulu was indifferent to Henry, but Junior was not happy one little bit. He hated the cat & for hours, he would stare through our glass door to the basement landing with the cat on the other side.

Leaving the basement door ajar, Henry started sneaking upstairs. Over time he insinuated himself into the traffic & rhythms of the main floor & was soon napping on the backs of the daybeds. There were hisses & growls, Henry had his tail nipped & Junior had his face slapped. Lulu rose above the fray.

Now, we are a family of 5. I was able to say to strangers: “I have a husband, 2 terriers & a very lucky old cat… that’s right, I am out & proud & I have a cat.

A Late Winter Day At Post Apocalyptic Bohemia

With 12 days before the official start of Spring, Portland enjoyed our nicest day of 2012, so far, with a high of 65 & sunny skies. I had one window & the French Doors of the bedroom wide open. Lulu & Junior both found a spot in the sun.

This is the space we named The Back Room. We spend a great deal of time here, each of us having our own daybed, used for TV watching, reading & naps. At the start of 2012, The Husband & I switched daybeds, after half a decade, just to prove that we could be zany. On the walls are an architectural piece from a built into the wall bed, Flemish, early 18th century, & across the room is a Belgian tapestry, an early 20th century replica of a medieval piece.

Lulu

I Love How You Love Me

Details From Post Apocalyptic Bohemia

The terriers each found a spot in the sun. Let me introduce Lulu (above) & Junior (in the photograph below).

Details Of Post Apocalyptic Bohemia

A view of the Dining Room. I like to think of it as the front parlor. The rug was my birthday gift from The Husband. It is 20th century Afghanistan. The chairs were purchased at Pier One, for $99 & reupholstered by the husband in a brown/grey flannel on the seats & front & crewel-work with over-laid brocade on burlap in the back. The Husband tells me that crewel-work was a skill learned by all good young European ladies in the 18th & 19th centuries. The Husband: "Very Martha Washington."

The sofa is Flemish pine, circa 1840s, upholstered in burlap with leather cushions. Bought by the Husband when he lived in Belgium in the early 1970s.

He brought it in to the relationship & were we to break up, it would go with him. I love it too much to divorce.

The table was made by The Husband from the stand of an industrial size mixing bowl & an old mahogany table top, silver leafed & studded. The sofa is the domain of Lulu. I like to sit there with coffee & a magazine.

I think I will order the Jack Russell Terrier. Is it free range terrier?

Detail of the rug. Sad, our war in Afghanistan (like the Russians before us) brought the traditional rug making business to a halt. Traders say Afghanistan lacks the processing infrastructure needed to make the carpet industry self-sufficient, raw materials are expensive, & the taxation system is all wrong, with foreign sales penalised by heavy duties while imported rugs are taxed at a low rate. Their government needs to do more to support this traditional industry. Now most of these rugs are made by refuges in Pakistan & Turkey.

Greetings!

There is nothing nearly as warming as being greeted by your dogs. After a full day of attempting to make happy: shoppers, staff, supervisors & spouses, nothing says love like the delirious delight of the “welcome home, I missed you so much! I missed you so much! Your home!” from a canine.

I give the love back. I can talk the terriers into a sort of hypnotic state, with the incantation of: “what a good dog…daddy loves you so much… you are so adorable.” Lulu & Junior’s eyes will roll back in their heads & their taut little bodies will ripple as I stroke them. If only Husbands could be lulled in the same manner.

Dog Day

I have long imagined what the canines do when we are not with them at home. I brought in a doggie cam to catch them in action. I have now glimpsed into a day at home with Junior & Lulu.

When we get home from a walk they receive a cookie & then I leave for work. I had always imagined them napping & awakening to only pace & look at the window waiting for the daddies to come home. But, I was mistaken. This doggie duo heads for the back room the moment the front door closes. Junior & Lulu watch TV! They start with the Kathy Lee & Hoda hour of the Today Show while enjoying a little Chardonnay. Then they take their next nap.

After awaking & doing a bit of stretching, they partake of the doggie bong. They eat cookies while settling in for Ellen & Anderson, They prefer their talk shows to be hosted by homos. They have a little shot of whiskey & are at times, distracted by a squirrel sighting.

Next up is the parade of toys. They remove each plaything & distribute the the goods around the house in what they think is a casual manner. In late afternoon, Junior licks his balls as Lulu keeps a lookout for one of us to return.

Lulu Has Adopted a Pendelton Blanket, Again Exercising Her Good Taste

All Dog Stories Have The Same Ending

Larry Dog

1998-2011

It is a heartbreaking, crushing sensation to schedule your dog's death, but that is what we had to do. One could think that I would be somewhat hardened by experience, having had to schedule the endings of 2 other dogs before him. Only Butch (1992-2007) went suddenly. It was a blessing. The horror of scheduling Larry's demise was that everything was a "last": his last Thursday, his last Friday, his last full day, his final "last call for potty", his last cookie.

Larry, like so many animals & people in our lives, was an orphan. To be fair, Larry was much loved by his original family, who decided to give him up because he was nipping at the toddler. Jack Russell Terriers, cute though they may be, are not the best dog for a household with children. They do not have the patience of a Lab or Golden Retriever, having their tails pulled & being rode like a pony.

Larry's first family were distraught over the choice of giving him, but relieved that he was going to a terrier keen couple who would provide him with a loving home with lots of walks & lots of cookies. Larry would be our 4th terrier.

Larry was the Eric Cartman of canines (I hope you understand the South Park reference): entitled, perpetually petulant, food obsessed & sassy. He would actually grumble under his breath as he walked across the room. Larry was as tenacious as any terrier I have encountered. We were initially timorous at his ultra-terrier comportment, often stubborn & selfish. His original family stopped to visit him once after had been with us 3 years, & we were shocked that he behaved as an angel dog in their presence. When they left he immediately started to swear under his doggy breath: "god damn it, ggggrrr... give me a cookie & let's get back to the business of making me fulfilled, you gay daddies!"

Larry was not an affectionate dog, but he had his tender moments. He was very sweet on The Husband & The Husband would start each day with about 15 minutes of tummy & ear rubs & kisses with him, but soon Larry would have enough & he would give a huff of exasperation, saying to us: "I hate this mushy stuff. If you truly love me, you would give a caboodle of cookies!"

Lulu is our 6th dog in our 32 years as a couple. I surmise what it must be like to have several children. You love them all, but you love them differently. Larry was very different in personality & presence from the other 5 dogs: Overweight, hairy, spoiled, outspoken, lazy, & foul-mouthed. I know what you must be thinking... Larry seemed to be the perfect dog match for me. Junior is thin, sensitive & damaged by his past, making him an excellent match for The Husband. But Larry was very loved by me, especially loved by The Husband & amusing to our circle of friends.

Like those before him, we had the doctor come to our house so that his last moments would not be in a sterile, brightly lit room. He was in the home that he loved to be in (Larry was loath to go outside, if he could be inside on a pillow). His daddies had been crying for days. The past 8 weeks, Larry's hind legs no longer worked. We would carry him outside to pee. He would go about the house dragging his hind end, using his front legs only. He looked like a big dust mop.  At the end Larry was often not able to let us know that he needed to go out & we were left to deal with his "accidents" for several months.

Why do I feel the need to still convince myself that we are doing the right thing? Why is my heart so broken?

Good-bye, Larry Dog. You were loved. I will always think of you, you will not be forgotten. Give your buddy Butch (dog # 3) a butt sniff when you cross over to the other side. He has been waiting for you.

2006

Butch is in the background

Before he got too old, Larry liked to be king of the hill & sat atop the furniture.

His best friend was The Husband. Here is reminding Larry to wear sunscreen while tanning.

Lulu Prefers Table Service

Click on the image & it will get bigger

Junior & Lulu Have An Afternoon Nap At Post Apocalyptic Bohemia