Dear Internet,
Tonight a very scary raccoon crept out of the shadows at me. Wanda & I sat on the deck having a leisurely session of making fun of all the people we know who deserved it when we saw it out of the corner of our eyes, creeping along the fence. We froze upon realizing that it was neither a serial killer, Christopher Lloyd, nor a cat, but a very brave and/or undead raccoon. Well- nobody in all of time has moved faster from a porch swing to a house before. We pretty much flew, then pressed our faces against the glass to see the evil thing. It's a good thing the patio door was left open when we launched, though, because I was mentally prepared to throw Wanda in front of me just in case it was in rabid attack mode and I needed to protect myself. Luckily, it wasn't necessary and we can go on being buddies. I'm pretty sure she'd give her life for me, anyway so it's all fine.
Anyhow, I locked the patio just in case raccoons can open doors. If they can creepy stalk me, then I bet they can open patios. They seem way less cute now.
From
Chelle
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