Move Along People, Move Along... Nothing To See Here

Well, we are back home-with the baby still in the tummy.

My husband and I went in to the Doc and she asked how I was feeling. I asked her what I needed to say to send me upstairs to L&D. She said I had to say that I felt a decrease in fetal movement... so I said "I have felt a decrease in fetal movement." To which she answered, "Well, you better get upstairs!"

Once up in Labor and Delivery, they hooked me up to a monitor-two actually, made me strip down to my birthday suit from the waist down and checked my cervix. While in there... the Doc decided to strip my membranes-that felt like she was sticking her entire fist up my crotch, but that is beside the point. The monitors showed that the baby was indeed moving-and moving a lot. It is official, this child is just like all of the other children I have given birth to-she does not listen to me and she will take any opportunity to embarrass me.

Anyway, they decide to do an ultrasound on me to check my fluid... which of course was just fine. So they sent me home but told me to come back in two days where they will do everything they just did to me all over again.

I am going to use Michelle 's technique and once I am in there on Friday-I am not leaving without a baby! Especially since there is no way I want to battle the traffic on a Friday afternoon out of DC.

My husband was very disappointed... not because he is not holding his new little girl in his arms right now, but because he has to go to work tomorrow. Sometimes life is just so unfair!

Please Knock me Over the Head

Well, I have a Doc appointment this morning... and am hoping they will take pity on my Shamu body and induce me.

I think I am ready-the flowers are planted, my little sister came in town yesterday to watch our other offspring, and I was able to paint my toe nails one last time. I even bought some Miller Lite yesterday and put it in the fridge... I need to have this kid soon because every time I open the refrigerator door I start frothing at the mouth!

I have to admit that I am a little bit frightened. Are all women scared out of their wits at the thought of labor or is it just me? I mean, going in to the Doc and saying "please help put me into excruciating pain." is kind of like handing my son a hammer and asking him to slam it on my thumb a good 20 times. I feel a little crazy here. I like to avoid pain-and today I am going to ask, even BEG to be put into pain.

If you could please say a little prayer for me today... that all goes well and that the sonogram was correct and this is a baby girl (we have so much pink!) and that she is beautiful and healthy. Also, while you are on your knees, pray that I don't poo on the delivery table.

Thanks!

Has Anyone Seen My "To Do" List?

Two days left until my due date and still no baby... one would think that after doing this three times before I would have it all figured out. I wish it were as easy as waking up one morning and saying "I think today is the day I would like to have this baby" and presto chango, we have lift off.

My husband packed his bag last night. I had to giggle a bit. I have never packed a bag in all of my labor and delivery days. This makes my husband crazy because he is a preparedness expert. I always argue that I do not need to be so prepared because I have him... who not only makes sure we have extra underwear for every person in our family in the car "just in case" but also makes sure windows are locked, all seats are in the upright position and snack trays are secured and fastened... oh, and that we have extra fast food napkins in the glove box.

I prefer the "running with my hair on fire" preparedness technique. The one that will not allow me to pack an overnight bag for the hospital at all... which means that my husband will have to come home after my delivery and pack me a bag to bring back to the hospital. I can't help it-I am a thorn in his side.

I have been nesting though... but I nest differently than most women. I have not really cleaned my house-you know the nesting "clean the floors with a toothbrush" neurotic routine. My cleaning lady is coming on Friday so I figure I am good with the whole "is the house clean enough?" paranoia. Besides, if I clean today and the baby does not come for another 5 days... that means I will have to just clean it again. No thanks.

I nest by buying things. I can go an entire pregnancy and not buy one thing at all-I am not a shopper. The last few days though, I have this need to buy all of those things that have been on my mind to buy for the last year but have never gotten around to it.

For example, yesterday my "to buy" list consisted of:

1. New drinking glasses that match one another. We have a cupboard full of mismatched glasses... and most have various restaurant logos on them. I could not stand it any longer and needed to get real glasses-ones that matched. How could I possibly bring a baby into this house with mismatched glasses from Applebee's, TGIFridays and 7-11?
2. New flatware. We have very nice flatware, but not enough. I was tired of having to wash forks from the dishwasher each night before dinner because my children have to use 17 forks each on any given day. So I felt compelled to buy an additional 48 piece set-how could I possibly live another day with a half-empty silverware drawer?
3. Bike helmets. My children all needed new helmets for the summer. I could not bring a baby into this house and be nursing quietly and have one of my children fall off of their bike and crack their head open from the lack of bike helmet wearing... I would not be happy having to take them to the ER in the middle of a milk let-down.
4. Sandbox. Well, that one was on the list for principle alone because my husband was so adamantly against buying a sandbox. Listen, I am about to give birth here... no one is going to tell me what I can or cannot do! He is just lucky I did not want to buy a new car.
5. Haircolor and sunless tanner. One has to look good in the delivery room-for all of those post-labor photographs.
6. Flowers. I need to make the house look pretty for the baby the first time she sees it! There was no question that I needed to go spend $100 on flowers!

Today's list:

1. New silverware tray. The old one does not fit all of the new silverware we have.

Once I have purchased all of those "must have" items, I am sure my water will break and I will be running around the house yelling things like "Don't I have any clean underwear?" or "I forgot to buy maxi pads!" That is how I roll... I can't help it.