I was thinking

You know, for all the stupid ideas that I come up with and actually tell people, there are at least 987932346636.7 extra, extra, extra stupid ones that even I go, "like, what are you doing, Self? Go do the dishes. We both know that will never work out, secondly you can't even shoot fire out of your eyes. So move on, Self. Sure, it'd be an interesting art project to sneak alligators into strangers' homes, hide, and take pictures of their reactions, but let's not tell anyone that you thought of that while you were blow drying your hair, okay? They don't understand your genius and I don't think they're ready. Also, you live in Canada, where are you going to find alligators in January? At the reptile Zoo? No I don't think they let you borrow them. No not ever. No, not even on your birthday. No I don't think the reptile zoo will help you do this. Put down the phone."

So then I say to Self, "Look, Self, you self righteous bastard, the world turns on ideas, okay? I have to contribute to the turning of the world, otherwise gravity will get all screwed up and everyone will fall off Terra Firma... unless we all had world handles to hang onto. We'd have to make lots of them so that people could get from place to place. We'd develop pretty strong arms. We'd probably eventually evolve a little... but what would we do with the babies? would we have to strap them on papoose style?"

Self: Did you just say, "Terra Firma AND world handles??"

Me: NO. I thought it. And then I wrote it and I fully intend to click the publish now button when I'm all done here.

Self: Alright. Go read a book.

Me: I have been. Remember? I've been reading Chuck Palahniuk books. They're all kinds of weird.

Self: you're weird.

Me: And hungry. Time for some toast and jam.

Self: OooooH! Homemade raspberry!

Me: Let's Go!

Self: Hurrah!!

Something like that. So all 68 of you may be surprised to find out that I'm actually kind of a freak (let's say rare gem instead). Sure, you think about me all the time and imagine what it's like to meet me and get my autograph but please keep in mind that on the day the world gets to meet me and I have my fancy roboto-throne, that I'm just a person like you: thinking thoughts so stupid that I can't even tell anyone about them. Right?

Also, look what I made today:

Annnnnnd publish.