Summary of my weekend

Go to Las Vegas.

-Finish being in Las Vegas.

-Pick up flu.

-Have the need to run to the bathroom hit you as you hand your laptop to the scary bald security guy to check for explosives.

-Make the split second decision not to take off running as he swipes it for bomb residue. Good thinking, self.

-Make it to bathroom x 2938479283

-Pray that nobody mentions the words, "Garbage Water", "milkshakes" or "garbage water

milkshakes" while on board.

-Land

-Consider laying on the pavement outside the airport until ride home arrives

-Reconsider since you'd have to lay in front of a police car

-Reconsider again

-Flip flop on that until N arrives.

-Sleep for 50 consecutive hours.

-Never go to Las Vegas ever ever ever again.

Things I learned: How to play Beer Pong, How to do the Cupid Shuffle, How to get a job handing out escort cards (it's the first step toward being a real pimp.. it's like the pimp mail room), some people wear green wedding dresses, Las Vegas cab drivers are possessed by the ghosts of angry rockstars who have overdosed themselves to death, How to play craps, Mojitos are gooder than beer, grammar, Americans like big food, why it's not a good idea to go on a roller coaster right after $4 breakfast & mimosas, wax is funny, those guys who can make cards fly totally have little metal thingies up their sleeves, The importance of sensory deprivation & why I love Canadian pharmacies so so so so so so so very much.

I also saw the dude who played the English imposter japanese samurai superhero dude from heroes season two in a fast food dump there. That's right. I am well connected to the show 'Heroes' now.

Now you know.