Sprawlmart.

I hate Walmart with every fibre of my being. I want to have more babies so that there will be more parts of me in this world to hate Walmart with. Every Walmart I've been to smells the same (like stale crackers and melting plastic) and every person on earth, even celebrities look ugly in Walmart. Nobody looks good in Walmart so everyone should stop trying right now.

There are two types of people in Walmart. The people who wander around for hours and hours like Walmart zombies, hypnotized by their temptation to buy a neon tube top (which they didn't go to Walmart for in the first place)- and the people who hate them and wish they could vaporize them all with their eyeballs while they wait behind them so that they can buy their freaking bandaids and get the hell out before they, themselves, become mesmerized by the tube tops. It's a very dangerous & fine balance.

The end.