Ugliest Possesion Contest/Giveaway Time! Win a Sock Beast. Do it.

Taxidermized baby alligator lamp(?) Homemade flashlight(?). People are awesome.

I did this once, long ago, on the olllld blog. It was hilarious, so I'm doing it again- only this time with PRiZeS. The prize is to be a sock beast that I will personally make and mail to you. Creepy eh? Totes. It'll be a good and ugly beast, too. Rest assured, readers, that I am capable of making it ugly.

Sock beast examples for the hoards of newcomers:

UPDATE: The prize is complete!:
You can also see it HERE if you're coming in from a link.

Here is what you do:

1. Find the possession in your collection of crap that is definitely the ugliest item that you own. Maybe it's that poodle shaped toilet brush that you brought home one evening after a night of poor judgement, maybe it's the Garden Gnome that bears a striking resemblance to Clint Howard and you just can't part with, stroking it's ceramic cheeks before bed each night for luck, maybe it's a velvet Elvis that your cousin made and it's hanging gloriously over your bed for inspiration, maybe it's your junior prom dress that was borrowed and never returned, maybe it's your hairless chihuahua or lacy cheetah print turtleneck... I like doing these maybes; I never want to stop.

2. Take a picture of it and post it to your blog or email it to me. People who post to their blog get three contest entries, lousy emailers only get one because I frown upon them for not having a hilarious blog of their own to showcase such wonders. (email to coffee.and.zombie.movies@gmail.com)

3. Come back here with your link and post it in the comments. I will then ** judge them on judgment day (Saturday, Feb 20/2010) and pop your prize in the mail if you're the winner and you trust me with your mailing address. *sinister hand rubbing.. finally I'll start collecting their addresses....the fools*

That's it. Find it, take a pic, post to your blog or email it (boo), post a link here. Wait, pace, worry, smoke, take an extra xanax, talk it out with your partner.... Whatever gets you through. Later, I'll post all of the submissions for us to compare and enjoy along with a link back to your blog. Think of how famous you'll be! How you'll scamper and skip with glee. Maybe.


Ps. I don't want to see children, pimples, bodily fluids, illegally things, other things that make me barf- it doesn't take much. Use semi-good judgment. Weird tattoos are acceptable provided they're YOUR weird tattoo that you regret so much.

**(By judge you, I mean draw a name from a beer mug). Here's the kicker, though- EXTRA, exceptionally ugly things can earn extra entries if I decide they are hideous enough.

Good luck!