They mate with their braids.

Me: SoOOoooo, Neilypants, what are we doing for VALENTINES DAAAAAY???

Neil: Um... you said you didn’t want to bother with it.

Me: *Silence and staring for 3 entire minutes* ......... Surely you know that’s female for, “I want you to think I’m special enough to ignore what I said about it not mattering to me and shower me with attention because I totally deserve it despite what I said earlier about it during the test phase....” Plus I ALWAYS make all the plans and you NEVER do blah blah blah...guilt guilt guilt... exaggerate, drag the issue out etc etc

Neil: Um, yeah.. I MADE plans, Asshole. I’m onto you. Secret plans.

Me: You better have. *squint* Secret eh?

Neil: Yeah, I thought we could go outdoor skating in the afternoon, I got a babysitter.

Me: Hmmm... Sounds nice, but I hate skating and does it have to be in the afternoon? I was just outside yesterday, I mean how many times do I have to go outside in a week? A hundred? a hundred and one? But really. That’s our Valentines plan? Skating?

Neil: You are seriously the worst person ever.

Me: I know. I’m sorry. I like your plan. Really I do, let me make it up to you by us going for sushi and seeing Avatar in 3D instead of that skating thing on Valentines. BrrrRrrr... chilly out... brrrr.... You know me, I’m an altruist at heart. Only thinking about you, Darling.

Neil: Romance oozes from your pores

Me: *chewing gum* Huh? Are you saying that I have big pores? I'm working on it okay? I didn't think it was that noticeable... Frig, it's like they just won't stop expanding like little windows opening up on the great skyscraper that is my face... Oooh, this is a pg 13 movie; probably not a ton of blood, eh? Bummer. I hear there are dragony things, though and that they mate with their braids.. SoOoounds ROMANTIC! Maaating with their braaAaaiiiiiids, Neily, their BraaAaaaaiiiiids...... *uncomfortable winking* Hey, do you think I should grow out my hair?

Neil: Okay if you don’t want to go skating, Avatar it is.

Me: I don’t know.. maybe we should see Wolfman instead.

Neil: Seriously? you’re changing the plan again? We’re seeing Avatar

Me: Alright, we’ll see the movie you want, Darling. After all, it’s Valentine’s day. Valentines day is about selflessness.

.....movie watching (simulation).
My goodness, but if we are not just the most attractive pair...

...leaving the theatre (simulation)
Hubba hubba.

Neil: So did you like it?

Me: Um.. It was okay... it was like a Disney teen star. Pretty enough, but not a whole lot to it otherwise, you know? Like... it should just keep on riding the teen-idol train until the looks start dragging and it needs to be digitally enhanced because college isn’t probably going to work out for it anyway. Better to tell it now and save years of heartache and disappointment. Gets yours while you can, Avatar, get yours while your parents are still rooting for you.

Neil: It’s up for an Oscar...

Me: Really? Well I’m sure if it flips it’s hair enough and says, “Oopsydoodles” a lot, it’ll get what it wants. I’m not mad.. It’s just the way it is. After all, it was very very pretty. And hey! Good News! The cat isn’t in heat anymore!

Neil: GARBAGE WATER GARBAGE WATER GARBAGE WATER

Me: HEY *gag* no fair *gag* you can't say that *hack* you know it makes me throw up! *gag* Bad Form, Neil!! *gag*

So there. I’ve shared the romance of my Valentine’s day with you lot, except for the part where I scratched my valentine's day lotto ticket, hoping for enough money to buy a new toilet. I'm stilly madly in lovey with Neil. Gross, eh? I am though.

Now get back to minding your own business and don’t forget to enter my CONTEST.