A Thunderstorm in my Pants.

I don't even know why I've been hit with the urge to start writing blogs at 1:20 am in the morning (I just wrote moron instead of morning by the way- the typo is relevant)- but I have. This very night while sleeping on the hide-a-bed in my parents new motorhome, I woke out of a pointless dream about west edmonton mall with an overpowering urge to spill my ideas all over the internet like so much beer from a shaken bottle.. I think you should wear protective eyewear. Anyhow, like most summers I haven't had much time for the interwebs and my tv-typewriter. We've been traveling since the 3rd of July, not that there hasn't been a veritable well full of morons and weird experiences to draw from for blogging... I haven't been able to get it all down for all fifty of my adoring blog subscribers to pour over every single minute of the day. I am sorry. I'm almost home where I won't have to explain to any extended family members why I am taking pictures of their things and putting them on the internet (No Mom, I SWEAR it's not for ebay).

Thought #1 is about motorhomes. Recreational vehicles. Motorized campers. My parents' new rockstar bus. While my Dad is truly the most generous and hilarious of all men who ever lived and without a doubt is right up there with Jimi Hendrix hisself in my book of who is awesome- I admit that I had one disagreeable thought while standing with my arse wedged against the table so as not to teeter over while holding a knife when I was making him a ham sandwich (from an actual roasted ham which my parents naturally brought along for the trip) in the moving vehicle not 5 minute after taking off in said rockstar bus (after sitting in a parking lot for 30 minutes where I could have made a sandwich without saying any prayers for my safety or wishing for a helmet), my Mom happily buzzing away making coffee... in the moving vehicle. Firstly, let us reflect on the fact that at the best of times, I am liable to fall onto a knife while trying to make a sandwich on solid ground. I have budget agility genes. My parents cheaped out on the graceful genes, since I'm their last kid. They think it's funny that all the good balance genes got used up before they got to me. In fact, I think I saw him snicker at me while I was staggering around the motorhome making the sandwich, is what I'm getting at.... I think it was all to get back at me for getting pregnant when I was a teenager.

Thought # 2 is on brain tumors. I hate them. For a while, I wasn't sure if I should feel thankful that my 16 year old niece got into an accident and got the scan that accidentally revealed that she has a large mass growing on her lovely brainstem or if I should be angry at God for putting it there to begin with. I have decided that I will focus on neither of those things- since why it is there is entirely not the point, it just is there. So I will put all of that energy toward thinking about what an awesome person she is and praying for her to recover quickly and wholly from the surgeries that she is facing this week- and also to buy her as many presents as possible and hope that she gets royally spoiled hopelessly and shamefully rotten for the next few months that she recovers from this. Take that, tumor.

Thought #3 It's time to go back to sleep. Sleeping in a motorhome is weird. I can hear my mother snoring, my son talking in his sleep and the baby is farting. So this is what it's like to live in one of those mud huts with your entire family... and by mud hut I mean rockstar bus with leather couches and a double fridge full of beer and Sunny-D. I'm going to shove my ipod back down the side of my underpants for safe keeping because I don't have a pocket- and listen to soothing gentle thunderstorms. There is some information for you. I have a thunderstorm in my pants. And Bob Dylan. And the baby is farting. File that under "Didn't wanna know".

More thoughts later. In fact, tomorrow I plan to add pictures to this blog. Not of my ipod, mind. Right now I'm too tired.

Cheers.