Vacation Started At 8:05 This Morning...

Today is the day that many a mom does a happy little jig in the kitchen to herself and then opens up the fridge and eats half of the contents in one sitting because she can.

Today is the day that many a mom will be able to sit on the toilet without having an audience of small people.

Today is the day that many a mom will be able to get back to the gym and take a shower by herself.

Today is the day that many a mom will go to the store-any store-alone and not have to leave without buying anything because a six year old is sprawled out on the floor of the cereal aisle kicking and screaming over Lucky Charms.

Today is the day that many a mom will bask in the fact that she does not have to yell things like "Don't hit your sister!" "Who left the milk out on the counter?" or even "Why is there a chainsaw in your bedroom?"

Yes ladies... today is your day. Run free! Take off your bra and walk through the house singing show tunes if you want-you are living on your time now. Your agenda. Your own freakin' schedule!

Just make sure you are back to normal by 11:40 a.m. because some yahoo on the school board thinks it is a good idea to "ease" kids into the first day of school and only give them a half day.

Pffft.

I am sure the school board is either made up entirely of men or women who only have high schoolers left in the house who can drive themselves and keep their own rooms clean. Communists.

It is a conspiracy I tell you... a C.O.N.S.P.I.R.A.C.Y.

But I can't worry about that right now-I have to decide if I want to clean all the toilets in my house and vacuum before 11:40 or if I want to organize my 11 year old son's bedroom.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

I crack myself up-clean the toilets! Now that is funny right there!