Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Curses! Foiled Again...

Yesterday I was thinking of Valentine's Day. I hate Valentine's Day because it never turns out the way I want it to, and I completely understand that movie My Bloody Valentine.

Anyway, I was thinking of the post I wanted to do and it had Ward Cleaver showcased as the "Swoon-worthy Regular Joe."

I thought up great interview questions... some that I would post here and some that Blogger would probably cause me to have that "Content on this blog is highly offensive, if you are good with things highly offensive then click Okay, you weirdo." warning before the page appears.

I sent him an email that said:

I think it would be fun to do a post with you as the star. Just answer these questions for me okay?

DO THIS! Don't just delete this email. Pay attention to me and DO THIS!!

I love you.

In this email I had all kinds of great questions like:

"What is your favorite thing about me?"

"What is your favorite thing about being a man?"

"Do you admit that you have horrible handwriting?"

"Are you sorry you yelled at me when we were new and young and starting out and I thought we had $946 in our account and not $746 because of your bad handwriting?"

"Why do you throw away important documents like phone numbers and notes scribbled on little pieces of torn paper that I need to keep track of?"


That kind of stuff... nothing painful.

He emailed me back this:

Is this one of those "Do I look fat in these pants" sort of things you ask me?

Not a chance. I am not touching this.

Love ya.

To which I responded:

C'mon! It will be fun, and I promise not to get angry with anything you have to say.

To which he responded:

I don't know who you are or what you are trying to do here... but please let my wife know I can't do this... for security reasons. My OWN security.

And now every time I email him I get an email back that says that my message is "suspected spam."

Who ever told him he could ignore me? I mean, you put a little thing like, AN ENTIRE WORLD between him and I and he thinks he can be all "I'm a MAN! You can't make me do anything I don't want to do!"

I can't even make him watch American Idol with me as punishment!

He may have won this round... but I can guarantee you I will win the war. {cackling sinisterly and shaking my fist in the air for affect}

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