Sources.

Um. So.

Writey write.

My week has been inexplicably boring, except for that one time where I got a little obsessed with the news and fringe American politics. I couldn't help it, though: I watched network news. You dummy, Self! The pulsating pile of bullshit that feeds on itself and spews horrors and scandal at my fragile mind. It took me days to settle down over it.

I've had to periodically quit the news, you guys. It ruins my mental health and I start to think about fashioning an aluminium foil do-rag to keep the governments out. (I also feel compelled to force you to pronounce it AL-ew-MIN-ee-əm and not A-loo-minum in case you don't already.Trust me, you'll sound way more impressive at all the parties you attend when you're not blogging.)

"Why, Mrs Hilton, are those AL-ew-MIN-ee-əm chaise loungers I see? Why I just ADORE AL-ew-MIN-ee-əm and these AL-ew-MIN-ee-əm breezers are just to DIE for!"

She'd be pretty impressed that you noticed.

I'm not crazy. YOU Are.

Anyhow, I've had the sound mental faculty to shut it off and continue to just receive my current events from my neighbor, Lawrence who periodically strolls by with information on the whereabouts & social encounters of my cat , Fluffy Sparkles (entertainment news) and also through my 4th grader who filters information to me through her classmates' secret underground ring of knowledge (current-ish events). Really, what more do I need?



Did you know that Hitler chewed off his own arms? I heard it through my news sources. Also, Fluffy Sparkles was spotted consorting with the other neighbor's cat, Charlie (AGAIN!!). That Charlie is out of control if you ask me.