Here is something I haven't told you.

I love playing air hockey. I love air hockey. I become ravenously competitive when I play it. This doesn't in any way mean that I am warming up to the idea of ever watching ice hockey (ever)... but air hockey? Yuh-huh. The very idea of it makes my adrenaline bubble and boil inside of me. I giggle like a maniac, my eyes gloss over & my face droops on one side. AiR HOCkeY... *gluuuurgle*

So we went to the Kid Fun Zone Happy Climbing Adventure Pizza Palace yesterday and I had forgotten about my need to annihilate people at this game.. that is until I saw two old french ladies playing against each other. My brain picked up an old memory. My goodness, I hadn't played in a decade.. more. I had flashbacks of myself launching that floating little puck into my opponent's goal. OH THE SATISFACTION! THE VINDICATION OF MY SKILLS! I even have a natural maniacal laugh that escapes when I devastate my aggressor. Not even practiced. If you'd like to try duplicating it though, do this: Say "Hhhhhhhhhh-AW!" (scrunch up your nose during the 'aw' part and hold for 2 full seconds) and make a tight, shaking fist with your left hand right in front of your nose and bare your teeth. It might be more like a battle cry, or a seizure. Who even knows? Anyway, on with the story.

I wanted to push the ladies to the ground and forcibly remove their paddle thingers from them so that I could have a turn. I had an internal struggle, because I remembered what it is like to be a toddler:

MONGO WANT PLAY NOW. I told myself no. Wait.... just wait your turn. There is only one air hockey table. MONGO WANT PLAY! Hurrrrrrry ladies.... GIVE MONGO PADDLES! Wait, self... MONGO'S TURN!! *stomp stomp stomp*. This is actually kind of what really went on in my head, if you must know. I'm sure it wasn't too obvious when I was standing beside the table, tapping my feet at these uncommonly greedy-with-the-hockey women who were taking their sweet time.

We were just getting ready to leave and had, in fact, rounded up all the kids from the giant tube/slide/maze when this all occurred. However, my pupils were already dilated, so I dug into my pocket and felt around for a loonie†. My hand slipped around the gold coin and I sheepishly asked Neil to play a quick game with me.

"I thought we were leaving"
"Yeah... um... we are.. after a game (*mumble*or sixty)"
"What was that you said?",
"Hmm? Me? OH Nothing, let's play!"

I think he saw the urgency on my face so off we went.

Most of it is a blur of war cries and I remember Neil getting a goal which made me pretty dangerously angry and desperate for redemption- but by the time they dragged me away, I had won all of the games and Neil looked pretty disheveled. I even thought about body checking him a few times.

I probably need to buy an air hockey table. Where would we put it? Well.. we probably don't need the dining room table.

Hhhhhhhh-AW!
*scrunchyface*
*fist pump*

†In case you're not Canadian, loonie means a dollar coin. I can see how reading the phrase, "I felt around for a loonie" might be alarming to those of you who are not hip to our slick Canadian jargon.