Don't you challenge ME about cinnamon buns.

Oh. So you don't believe I'm making cinnamon buns right now, eh Steffaneveryone Facebook? Eh? You don't believe me? Hmm? Do you? No. You don't. Oh facebook, you are a fool because I AM. I'm making them. Well I've started. I have an hour and a half to kill until the dough is ready so.... here I am proving it on the internet instead of cleaning the bookshelf.

Normally, I might have crapped out and turned my bread dough into a regular loaf of bread, but since my ladylike integrity has been put to the test, well now I have to follow through. It's my great gran's recipe/word of mouth-ipe, save for the convenience of the bread machine to do all the thinking. The REST is her way. After the dough is done, I mean. But the dough is her recipe too, you guys, it just happens to be bread-machineable. Hurray Great Grandma Sammy! You forward thinker. In case you missed, or are incapable of scrolling down 4 or 5 blogs, this is her:

"I'm making cinnamon buns, fools"

So HA! Lookie: The dough is on it's way:

Yep. This adventure has started. I'm all the way in now. I've even shown you my Grandmother & my lard. *oh my*!

But alas, I've done all I can do for now. Cinnamon buns involve quite a lot of waiting. Photographic Update coming in 1 hour 45 mins.

In the mean time, here is a story: Once when I was about 9, I tried to put together a mostly decomposed cow skeleton with my cousin, Billy. The idea being that if we rearranged it and made it look like an alien, we could convince a scientist to give us quite a substantial amount of money to study it. It was like a Looong snake-cow alien. We wished that the OTHER dead cow would have decomposed faster so that we could have used its bones, too. Killjoy. It would have been almost fool proof.

Oh what a fool that scientist would be! But he wouldn't discover his grave error until we were long gone in our ferraris. BwahahahahAAAA!! No scientists came along to the pasture, though. Opportunity-MISSED.

Here we are on our way to Disneyland. We look distracted because we were busy thinking of ways to extort the owners of this mini merry go round. Notice my intimidating outlaw neck bandana and Billy practicing his Mr Burns-hand. Brains & Brawn. PS.. somehow, my hair magically turned a natural shade of platinum blonde between then and now... *cough*


Stay tuned...
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Later that day.....PART 2Tada! So the dough finished up its magic- time to take it out and try to remember how to make cinnamon buns.

Here's a tip: don't leave your dough alone for even a SECOND. You know, you turn around once and BAM. It has a sexy slave. Hassle.

So I set aside the princess and rolled out the dough, added all the secret ingredients and rolled it up, like so:

Patting it out. Sorry dough. Funtime is over.



Cutting it into 12 even parts is where my math skills really come in handy. Thanks, Mr Shoultz.... for FAILING me so that I have complete meltdowns every time I think about scary, scary numbers. *bitter glare*


arrange arrange arrange

Now I have to wait for it to rise for like 45 min. This is why I don't make them often. It's an all day kind of commitment.

More to come. Let us have a spot of tea while we wait, shall we, internet?

So, Miss Honytrinkle, I DO hope you brought those scumptious home made pickles to the tea party! And you, Mr Furthermore? Are you going to play us a tea-time tune on your harpsichord? What a lark! Have you finished taking inventory of your rare sweater collection, Mrs Beenile? Any luck with those ideas you were pitching, Mr Himmler?.... Oh I KNOW, he can be so bossy. Yeah, I totally saw those pants *snicker*. Does he think he looks emo or something with that moustache?? WHAT? Oh Himmler... Oh NO HE DIN'T!


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Part 3- They're done! Yay!


They have risen. Hallelujah.


All done.


Flip 'em over and they are sticky, freaking awesomeness- because I ALWAYS double the sticky stuff and never ever put in raisins. Any other way is a total waste of time.


So THERE, Internet. Now I can have a shower. Yay!

OOOoooOOH!
I'm a leetle Teapot
Short und Shtout!
Das ist Mein Handle
Das ist Mein Shpout
Ven I get all shteamed up
He-ah me SHOUT:
ZE VERY FIRST ESSENTIAL FOR SUCCESS IS A PERPETUALLY CONSTANT UND REGULAH EMPLOYMENT OF VIOLENCE!!!
Toot toot!
*moustache waggle*

I know. Hell.