"6 Weird Things About Me"

OK, Kasia tagged me for this "6 weird things about me" meme... in which I am supposed to divulge 6 weird things about myself. Personally, I believe that I am the only normal person for miles and miles... it is everyone who surrounds me that is weird, but I will indulge you just this once. I am not a big "meme" promoter-but at least this one does not ask what my favorite color is.

OK, 6 weird things about June Cleaver

1. I cannot eat the last bit of anything. I cannot bring myself to have the last corner of a sandwich, the last bite of pie, the last sip of a drink and or even the last cookie in a package. I do not know why-it has scientists baffled.

2. I have to do the three finger crawl when I grab a piece of bread out of the wrapper. I cannot take the first two or three slices so I finger crawl over them to the fourth or fifth slice of bread to take out and make my sandwich. In my defense, I learned this from my mother-which she probably started when she had children who did not tie up the end of the bread bag and the first few slices got hard. I know my sister Colleen does this as well. We are in group therapy for it.

3. I cannot stand if someone eats off of my plate, or takes a bite of my food. I do not share well in this category. It grosses me out and I can no longer finish the plate. I also do not like if someone drinks out of my cup. I will go get a new cup if this happens... and it puts me in a piss and vinegar mood for the rest of the day.

4. If I break the yolk of my egg in the morning when I am frying it up-the day is ruined. I throw the egg away or give it to the dog. There is nothing sadder than a fried egg with a hard yolk. Yuck! My husband, knowing that this will set me off, will always volunteer to take the bad egg from the frying pan--what a guy. Always ready to take one for the team.

5. Going along with the "can't have the last bite of food" syndrome I suffer from... I cannot use the last bit of shampoo or conditioner either. I do not know why. Maybe I don't have the patience to wait for it to travel all the way from the bottom of the bottle to the opening for me to use it, maybe I don't like the pfffffffft sound that follows the last bit that comes out, maybe I just enjoy using the new full bottle--I have never figured this out, but my house is littered with almost empty bottles of shampoo and conditioner. My husband (again, always taking one for the team) will use the last bits of shampoo and conditioner that I would not put on my head if you paid me. I think this comes from my childhood as well--for some reason my mother never had a well-stocked bathroom closet. We were always out of shampoo, tampons, soap, deodorant to the point that it has obviously caused some cerebral damage to me and now I have a bathroom closet that is so overly stocked that we could stop shopping for a year and still be smelling nice and clean. Also, I have vivid memories of adding water to the last bit of shampoo in the bottle when I was a kid and I HATED doing that. So... the blame for this one goes to my mother who must just walk past the toiletries aisle of the grocery store blind to the fact that there are shampoo and conditioner bottles begging to be purchased and brought home.

6. Last on my list of weird things is... I will not buy ice cream. Let me explain. I will go to the local Dairy Queen and order ice cream and eat it and enjoy it to the fullest, but I will not purchase ice cream and bring it into my home. The reason being is that when it is time to serve it up to all of the dirty faced children in my home (including my husband) it is me that has to do it. I cannot stand getting ice cream on my knuckles while scooping it out. It is sticky, it is gross, and I just don't like it! I also don't like ice cream bowls that are left in the sink to ferment and harden and get all yellow. I refuse to let this happen in my house and therefore we have cake without ice cream for birthdays. My kids do not know that ice cream should come with cake--which is another reason I do not buy ice cream... who ever thought of putting something that will melt all over a perfectly good cake and make it all soggy in the first place? No thank you. Ice cream should only come out of a machine and served by a high school student with an apron and a visor named Haylee at the local ice cream shop. It was not meant to be brought home and dished out--yuck! My older sister Colleen thinks I am absolutely crazy for this. They have ice cream every stinking night at their house... and her husband will have more than one bowl, scraping the sides to get every last bite. Ewwww-that is just wrong. He knows I think he needs to seek professional help on this matter.

So there you have it. My 6 weird things, which I do not think are weird, but others have told me are weird so therefore they must all be wrong. My therapist tells me there is nothing wrong with me (as she fills out my prescription and makes my next appointment.)