ARGHHHH! I am so sick of winter! I am tired of having winter coats thrown all over the house. Today, the hooks in the cleaning closet fell and all of the winter coats that were piled on top of each other came crashing down. That is so irritating to me because we live in a small house and I have no where else to put these stupid winter coats! I piled them on the hooks in the garage and the ones that did not fit... I have decided to give to Good Will.
I feel like running through the house screaming. There are signs of a long winter indoors everywhere. Toys scattered, sweatshirts strewn over chairs, socks stuffed under beds and hanging out of the hamper and windows tightly closed in rooms that smell of dust. Laundry loads are heavier with long pants and heavy sweaters and the shoe pile outside of our garage door is the size of Mt. Kilimanjaro! I cannot wait for warm weather!
I am also getting tired of being pregnant-you know the "I hate my body" trimester. I seem to be more exhausted during this last trimester than I did during the first. Thank God for cereal, Easy Mac, and hot dog singles or my children would starve.
I long for summer weather when all we wear are flip flops and shorts. All of the winter coats will be packed away in the attic and the winter shoes will either be tossed away or put aside for the next child in line for them. I can't wait to live on burgers on the grill and cold pasta salad and the thought of walking in the evening to DQ makes me look out my window at the snow and want to flip it off.
A few months ago I was in love with winter. Early nights with the fire going and warm stews on the stove. I enjoyed tossing an extra blanket on my children's beds and turning down the thermostat at night in order to sleep cuddled up. Today, if winter was a person and knocked on my door, I would sick my dog on it!
I want to tell my kids "GO OUTSIDE!" I can't wait to sit on the back patio watching the little one play with her scooter or ride her bike, or to see my older kids running with their friends damp with sweat and beautifully tanned by the sun. I can't wait to hear my husband come home from work at night and say to the kids "Everyone get your suits on!" as he takes them all to the pool and gives me a hour alone in the summer evening.
Summer also means that I will no longer be pregnant and grumpy. I will have a precious little baby to hold each day. A little one who will smell so sweet and will bring about more love in this house than we imagined.
This winter dread is my Lent. Lent is always so long and dark for me. I wait for Easter Sunday just as I wait for the summer wind to blow through my hair. I do not wait patiently, I wait anxiously.
I was reading about the two thieves that were crucified along side of Jesus, Gestas and the good thief Dismas. This winter I am acting like Gestas-complaining and shaking my fist at God and saying "save me!" I need to come out of my Lenten dread and have more of the views of Dismas the good thief. Even after Jesus promised him heaven, he still had to suffer-but he knew the miracle that had taken place inside of him through Jesus Christ. It is so hard to look upon our suffering, or our sadness as a blessing because we have been saved by Christ. It is much easier to be like the bad thief and complain and demand help. Yes, this Lent is long and dark, but I hope that by the time Easter comes I can smile through my suffering... knowing the miracle that has taken place within me.
Oh let the warmth flow~
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