I worked pretty hard on it and not to be vainglorious or anything, but I think the Science Wizard Community is going to start sending me letters about what a fascinating mind I have and begging me to give interviews. I should probably find a science article writing agent now. You can read it here :
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In other News,
I spent last night moping over my tax return being sucked into bills. I had big ideas for that tax return you guys. BIG ideas. Well.. My biggest idea was to get a stove that doesn't cry and throw a tantrum every time I try to get it to do its job. My stove suffers from bipolar disorder. I try and be supportive, obviously Stove can't help it. Sometimes it bakes things manically in no time at all, sometimes it is depressed just doesn't feel like giving 100%. But it's deteriorating.
"I'm sorry I burned a hole in your ceramic top with that wok, Stove"
"What does it even MATTER? I am hideous. I'm never going outside again."
"Maybe we could like.. just put a nice doily over the hole or something. Nobody will notice."
"The coffee maker keeps spitting grounds at it"
"There there, Stove, what if I told you that I got us some tickets to RHIANNNAAAAA"
"You don't like Rhianna"
"Well they are not for me, Stove. They're for YOU"
"Fine, I'll make your stupid cookies"
"That's a good stovey"
"You'd better make good on those tickets"
"Uuum.... yeah, about that..."
The truth is, I'm running out of money to bribe it with, so I had a secret plan to send it off to the stove retirement facility and get a new one. Boy am I glad I decided not to talk to my stove about that because the tax return/new stove money has been sucked into credit card land. That would be awkward. No amount of coaxing would have brought my stove out of its depression after THAT.
I hope it isn't reading this...
Stupid tax season.
No comments:
Post a Comment