Wednesday, August 13, 2008

They Don't Teach You This In Sex Ed...

I had a dentist appointment today. The kids are going tomorrow. When I called to make our cleaning appointments they asked me if I wanted to just make all appointments (mine and the kids) on one day. No thank you... don't they know that 45 minutes in the dental hygienist chair is my idea of a vacation?

While there the dentist talked to me about getting a bridge in the very very back of my mouth. When I was a kid my parents did not take care of me. Seriously... they let me run around without my shirt on and never took me to the dentist. Some would say I was borderline feral. It is a miracle that I am a functioning human being and not living in a van down by the river.

Anyway... I asked the dentist about simply putting a implant on this tooth that I have been missing since my 10th birthday because my dad didn't think I needed all of the teeth in my head. "How much does it cost to fix that broken tooth? WHAT? Are you crazy? How much does it cost to pull it? 50 bucks? Pull it!" Seriously, do not listen to my mother when she comments on this blog. We didn't even have air conditioning when we were kids, and we only had 3 channels to watch on the television... and we had to get up and walk across the room to change the channel!

So, the dentist told me that I could not get an implant because the teeth surrounding the little missing tooth were not virgin teeth and they would benefit from the protection of the bridge.

Huh?

I guess that means that both of those teeth have cavities-or in my case fillings. Virgin teeth do not have cavities or fillings in them.

Apparently my mouth is full of slut teeth. Damn promiscuous teeth. My mother will be so ashamed.

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