Friday, August 8, 2008

Did I Even HAVE A Great-Great-Grandma Cleaver?

Thank you for all of your kind words. They will be a help to me when I am in a ball of tears at the sight of a big spider in the bathroom at 2 a.m. and my Chief Spider-Killer is not here.

We just returned from a forced-family-fun trip to Okoboji Iowa. If you have not heard of Okoboji or have never visited Okoboji... well you must be living under a rock, because anyone who is anyone goes to Okoboji. I think I may have spotted one of the Olsen twins there... either that or it was a bag lady at the Piggly Wiggly. Not sure.

This turned out to be another trip where in the future, when I am dead or in an insane asylum, my children will look at one another and say, "Did Mom go with us to Okoboji? I can't remember seeing her there." Because I am not in one of the pictures taken because I spent my entire time following around a cranky one-year old who did not like sleeping in a hotel room with all of her family members. How dare we think that we could sleep in the same area as her! The nerve! I always say that my great-great grandchildren will not know what I looked like because there is not one picture of me around this place. They will know what great-great-granddad Carl looked like, all suntanned and beautiful, but they will not know how beautiful I was. If there are any pictures of me to be had on family vacations, I usually look pale and tired and have a pruned butt from sitting in 6 inches of water at a baby pool all week. Ahhhh... memories.

No, there was no boating for me, no skiing, no water sliding, no nothing at Okoboji. Although, I did get one spin around the lake on the inflatable tube with my friend Lori. We were laughing so hard that Lori had to jump ship because she started to pee (damn those weak birthing bladders) and my uterus is resting nicely at the bottom of Lake Okoboji. Nothing like a lake-enema to wake you up and make you walk funny.

So now we are back and Carl has requested all of his favorite meals before he leaves. Tonight it is meatloaf (ugh... leave it to a man to love a loaf of meat covered in Ketchup), tomorrow is brisket and for Sunday we have the pièce de résistance... Christmas/Thanks/Easter Turkey dinner-complete with jellied cranberry sauce.

I have decided to spend the next few days in a constant state of buzz. The liquor store down the street already told me I have purchased my limit for August. Can you believe that? A liquor store cashier cut me off. Mercy. I figure if I am buzzed everything will be funny. "Laughter through tears is my favorite emotion." If you can name the movie quote I will send you a prize. I don't know what the prize will be... or if I'll really send you anything, but play anyway. You never know what I am capable of after I have been cut off by a liquor store cashier. Good Luck!

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