My fortune cookie contained a triple fortune. A triple. I've seen doubles, but never a triple. It's a sign. Although, I disagree that the best way to get rid of an enemy is to be his friend (and by enemy, I'm sure the fortune cookie means my glorious would-be ex husband, Biff). I'd rather have him cryogenically frozen for a few millenia. Then he'd wake up to a future world, ruled by mutant frog people who survived nuclear alien holocaust and famine by hiding in Peruvian caves for thousands of years and eating canned food, only emerging once the canned goods were eaten up (But they had a lot so it lasted for quite a while)- so they're all pasty and hairless & white and their eyes got bigger, and they carry sticks that shoot lasers. One is called Chief Boyardee because somewhere along the way, they started regarding the makers of the canned goods as religious leaders. Once my 'enemy' is dug out of the ground and unfrozen in the hot tub and washed up to the music of 'I'm too sexy' by right said Fred, he becomes the most popular guy in high school. He even gets to bring along his ancient girlfriend who sadly appears to have been mummified. But her armpit high jeans were preserved beautifully. Luckily, he woos a new girlfriend named Bork who can catch chickens like none of the other girls. Late one night, Bork is POSITIVE that she's been given the old stinkeye from miss mummification, but everyone else convinced her that it was just a mutant future fly landing on her face and wanted to know if she'd seen the fly a second time, because they were after all, mutant frog people and logically, they should be catching flies. Then they got sidetracked talking about flies.
The point is that he would be happily living in a different century than I, which would be just as good as a divorce.
WHAT. I've been watching futurama and eating chinese food.
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