Friday, April 18, 2008

Summer Plucking, Havin' A Blast...

The time has come once again for women to torture themselves by plucking, shaving, waxing, and bleaching. Yes friends... bathing suit season is knocking at the door.
I hate bathing suit season because, well... I have to wear a bathing suit. I remember in my youth I never minded wearing a bathing suit. I used to live in my bathing suit when I was a kid because we had a pool in the backyard and since we did not have central air, the pool was the only way to survive Chicago summers.

When I became a teenager I enjoyed bathing suit season because I looked smokin' hot in my suit. My sisters and I were not allowed to wear bikini's because we had very strict parents. Mom and Dad didn't always go to the Dunes with us... that is all I am going to say on that subject.

After I had a couple of kids I still could pull off a cute suit-one that showed off my assets and hid my flaws. After a couple of more kids, I have come to the realization that I need to invest in a moo moo bathing suit. I have more flaws that need to be hidden and a simple bathing suit-I don't care if it is named the "miracle" suit or not-is not going to hide them all.
But I am not talking about flabby flaws today. No, I will not entertain you with stories of jelly rolls or junk in my trunk. Today I am going to give you a gift-that is right... an amazing gift.

Since men rule the world and have made it perfectly clear that they like their women hairless (except for on the head, if all women had long flowing luxurious hair men would finally be able to stop worrying about war and be able to move on to more productive things like World hunger and peace.) I have found the most perfect thing for shaving the area "down under", or "where the sun don't shine" or "VIP only" or what ever it is you like to call it.

Are you ready for this? Say good-bye to waxing! Say so long to plucking! Never again cut yourself with your husband's face razor, and for the love of God-put down the smelly Nair!

I came across these puppies a few weeks ago. I thought they were cute but had my doubt on their durability. I mean, how could something so little take on such a job as that of a summer shave after a winter hibernation?

All I can say is: Try Them! You will thank me later. Your husband will be happy to have his face razor back and you won't have to wear an oh so attractive skirt with your bathing suit just because you have a lower region mustache poking out saying hello!

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