Folding A Fitten Sheet 101...

OK, first things first. I know I said I would post this on Saturday, but certain things happened that made it impossible for me to do so. I tried... but alas, it is now Sunday night and I am finally getting to it.

I started off in the exact manner that I always do when I fold a fitted sheet. I wake up and pull all of the sheets off all of the beds and haul them downstairs. Before the dryer's buzzer goes off letting me know it is time to fold the dreaded fitted sheet, I pull out a little Heiney. It is a fitted sheet people, this is not easy. I don't even know if I could do it without alcohol first.

But then, just before I was about to crack it open and start chugging and folding... my mother-in-law called. This is where I got a little side-tracked.

After the phone call I forgot all about the folding editorial and decided to put my Heiney away and hit the hard stuff. My mother-in-law does this to me. No kidding. Thank God for the Russians. Hello Roddy Doddy Voddy!

But... while looking for my friends the Russians, I came across this lover of a bottle. After this, I have to say that all hopes of folding a fitted sheet was forgotten. I am ashamed and I apologize... but I had a really good Saturday night! YeeHaw!

OK, so after waking up Sunday morning with no sheets on the bed I decided that I better get to folding this fitted sheet. Yes, I realize that if I were just putting the sheets back onto the bed I would not fold them, but this is for your benefit. My husband did not understand my reasoning either, especially after I yelled "Don't you dare put that fitted sheet on the bed! I have to fold it for my blog!" He just shook his head and muttered something about you people paying me or something like that... ANYWAY, here are the sheet fresh out of the dryer. (Well, not so fresh, a day later in fact, but I did have it on wrinkle guard for almost 24 hours.)

After you haul all of those sheets up to the bedrooms and trip over a few Lego's and curse at the dog, toss that almost fresh sheet on the bed. You need a bed for this, or a ping pong table... which ever is available. You need a good area for this exercise.

Take your fingers and place them in two of the corners of the sheet. Fold up the other side of the sheet and stuff your cornered fingers inside of those corners as well so you have a half sheet with the corners hugging each other. I am aware that I am folding this sheet inside out. I could tell you that I do this to keep the side that I sleep on inside and therefore keep it cleaner... but honestly it is inside out because I am too lazy to right side out things. Ask my children. They have drawers full of inside out folded clothes.

After you have your corners united, lay your sheet flat on the bed and fold it in thirds.

See?

Then it is easy peasy to fold the sheet so that it looks all nice and tidy. Isn't that just wonderful? Can you just picture my linen closet? So organized and folded? Are you jealous?

If this folding is too difficult to understand, you can always do what I usually end up doing... especially after that Vodka, and just roll the stupid fitted sheet up like a jelly roll.

And then stuff it in the linen closet.

Isn't it a relief to realize that I am not perfect? I hope you feel better!