Monday, November 14, 2011

Reflections On An Autumn Evening

I have been fortunate to have enjoyed acquaintances with all sorts of human beings: very young, very old, different races & nationalities, men, women, straight, queer, very rich, very poor, the gamut of sizes, types & dispositions. I have had fewer close friends & lovers, but love them I did, with deep, devout, & diligent devotion. Yet, when pressed, I will own up to hating humanity.

An adherent to the concept of Karma, I had to have been some sort of son-of-a-bitch in past lives. I don’t much care for the masses, but I found myself, in this life, front & center, facing the public, working in front of an audience or in restaurants or retail… & I don’t actually like people. Every day I was made to face people & attempt to make them happy, satisfied or entertained.

As a news junky, the human race never disappoints in their savagery & stupidity with heady mix of depravity, malice, heartlessness & disregard for the beautiful, fragile, blue orb that we are forced to share.

Yesterday I met Geoff at Boys’ Fort. He is a handsome, lithe, robust, sparkle-eyed gentleman of a certain age. We ended up chatting on for a while & Geoff told me this story: Middle aged Geoff was living in San Francisco, working as a designer, when he fell in love with a younger strapping, athletic “farm boy from the mid-west”. Geoff & Roger made lives for themselves, both working long, difficult days & attempting to sock away some savings. They lived paycheck to paycheck, as so many of us do, yet found a way to invest.


When the couple had been together a decade & a half, they found little time to be together or enjoy each other. Slowing down to enjoy their time, Geoff was diagnosed with cancer. Roger saw him through chemo, surgery & recovery.

Geoff & Roger took a moment to evaluate & contemplate their lives together, & very much in love, they decided to jump off the cliff of comfort. They "moved some money around”, sold a lot of their treasures & moved to the much less expensive Portland, living in a small condo in the Pearl District.

As Geoff was recovering from a second bout with cancer he encouraged his strapping farm boy to get back to exercising & train for the marathons that Roger used to love to run when they first became a couple. Roger wanted to make Geoff happy & hopeful after his long illness.

Rodger went for a run & dropped dead from a heart attack at age 51.

Within 24 hours, Roger’s family had a hired a lawyer & because they were not legally married in Oregon, Roger’s parents were able to take everything. Every book, piece of art, stick of furniture, Christmas gift, everything that 16 years together brought in to their lives was gone within 3 weeks, including the bank accounts that they shared. Some assets still in California were spared because Geoff & Roger were married in that state & registered as domestic partners, but Roger’s family tried to take that also & Geoff had to spend money on a lawyer to protect & defend his interests. Geoff: "I was left with nothing but my grief"

I am heartsick remembering Geoff’s narrative, yet Geoff’s spirit was somehow bright. I have not been able to stop thinking about him.

"Of the crooked timber of humanity, no straight thing can ever be made."
Immanuel Kant

On that note... this month the 7 billionth person was added to the planet & the Black Rhinoceros became extinct, a victim of poaching.



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