Last year on this day, I posted on Larry Kramer's birthday, the essence of that post is repeated below. I discovered that Mr. Kramer had commented on that post, providing me with one of the top thrilling turning points in my life. On my modest little spot on the Internet, I have been blessed with comments from writers & musicians that I have posted about, but Kramer is a pivotal, phenomenal, & have to say it- most QUEER figures in my life.
His work & his life have informed, impressed & influenced my life like few others. From his novel- Faggots to his most recent rants, Kramer is a part of who I am today. I remember coming home from work & dancing, screaming to the Husband- "Larry Kramer left a comment on Post Apocalyptic Bohemian! Oh, my God, Oh, my God!"
In April of 2011, Kramer took on editor/writer Thomas Rogers of Salon, in a generation on generation debate about gay identity. I understood Kramer's position. Like Kramer, I am not Post-Gay. Before I am an American, before I am a white male, before I am a progressive... I am a Gay Man. The struggles, sensibilities & spirit that give me breath are linked directly to being a gay man. As I have stated before, if I was not gay, I would be a white- straight- Protestant male, I would be- The Man. I have always considered being gay to be a gift from God. I would not wanted to live my life as an insider.
Despite my reputation as a hedonist, a fellow known to swig & smoke & swallow substances to feel better, forget, or lose myself; I have never performed while anything less than stone cold sober. As an actor & a singer I was always clean as a whistle, had my homework done, was prompt for rehearsals & performances, & made it a point to get along with the cast & crew.
I had done a lot of work, a lot of good work, sometimes with some troublesome behavior swirling around me, at the now defunct- Pioneer Square Theatre in the 1980s. I was not completely surprised, but still thrilled, when the artistic director & the managing director told me that they had seen a production of Larry Kramer’s The Normal Heart in London, & that they had secured the rights for the 1st Seattle production with me in mind for the role of Ned Weeks (the stand in for Kramer himself). I had already read the play & I was very intrigued with the idea of playing someone so close to my own personality. I usually was chosen for roles that were not anything like the real me. It was a breathtakingly good role in a powerful play. I never assumed for even a moment that the role was sewn up. I worked especially hard at the audition & call back, but I had a different kind of confidence, knowing that it was originally chosen with me in mind.
I didn’t get the part. I never portrayed Ned Weeks, a role on paper that haunted me with the likeness to my own psyche.
The role went to the artistic director himself, a straight man, who must have realized how juicy the character was. I was offered another role & was told- “you are much too good for the part, but we would still like you to be a part of this project.” I should have been a better man & a better actor; I turned down the smaller role.
I had an inner dialogue congratulating myself on dealing with my dreams being dashed in such a mature way. I never shed a tear or had a regret. I wished them all well & moved on. I had read a week’s worth of press before the opening & didn’t flinch with a sadness for opportunities lost. But, on the afternoon of the opening of The Normal Heart… I broke out in a serious case of the hives. Every inch of my body covered in welts & rashes. 6 weeks of bottling up my feelings & putting on my proud face took a toll on my body & I was a mess. I finally cried. I would never be Ned Weeks. The Husband: “The body is a powerful thing. Yours in giving you a really strong message.”
Larry Kramer was an accidental leader, thrown into action during the 1st days of the AIDS epidemic when his friends began getting infected. Kramer: "I was just a New York faggot like everyone else who was gay then. I didn't march in Pride. We used to be at Fire Island & make fun of all that." Kramer is an immensely accomplished playwright, screenwriter, novelist, & journalist. Kramer described himself as a shy person who "gets nervous when I'm away from my computer." He was nominated for a Tony for The Normal Heart, won an Obie Award for his 1993 play The Destiny of Me (also a runner-up for the Pulitzer Prize), & his screenplay for the film Women in Love was nominated for an Academy Award in 1969.
Larry Kramer's Faggots has been in print since its original publication in 1978. It has become one of the best-selling novels about gay life ever written. The book is a fierce satire of the gay ghetto & a touching story of a man's desperate search for love. I guess little has changed since 1978. Celebrated & reviled, this gay classic is not for the faint of heart. It is a harsh, fascinating look at the excesses of a generation that couldn't hear the bell tolling over the disco beat.
As AIDS threatened the lives of his friends, & fueled by fear & anger at the government for ignoring the epidemic, Kramer co-founded Gay Men's Health Crisis, the first & world's largest service provider to people with AIDS, in 1981. Frustrated by that organization's non-confrontational nature, he launched the AIDS Coalition to Unleash Power-ACT UP in 1987, leading a grassroots effort for the approval process for drugs to treat AIDS. At its height from the late1980s to the mid 1990s, ACT UP boasted 140 chapters nationwide.
He is a powerful & profound writer & a real crank. Kramer: "You do not get more with honey than with vinegar. You get it by being harsh & demanding and in-your-face – constantly. We're all anxious to have everyone love us. It's difficult to maintain that if you have strong opinions."
Larry Kramer lives in NYC & in a country house in Connecticut, with David Webster, an architect, & the man for whom Mr. Kramer has waited 17 years. The pair met in the late 1960's & dated in the 1970s, but spent the 1980's apart.. Webster came back into Kramer's life in the 1990's, HIV negative & ready to live out his life with Kramer. The effect he has had on Kramer is said to be palpable, the calm that comes with finally being seen, finally being heard, & finally being loved.
His work & his life have informed, impressed & influenced my life like few others. From his novel- Faggots to his most recent rants, Kramer is a part of who I am today. I remember coming home from work & dancing, screaming to the Husband- "Larry Kramer left a comment on Post Apocalyptic Bohemian! Oh, my God, Oh, my God!"
In April of 2011, Kramer took on editor/writer Thomas Rogers of Salon, in a generation on generation debate about gay identity. I understood Kramer's position. Like Kramer, I am not Post-Gay. Before I am an American, before I am a white male, before I am a progressive... I am a Gay Man. The struggles, sensibilities & spirit that give me breath are linked directly to being a gay man. As I have stated before, if I was not gay, I would be a white- straight- Protestant male, I would be- The Man. I have always considered being gay to be a gift from God. I would not wanted to live my life as an insider.
This month marked the 30th anniversary of the first diagnosed cases of AIDS.
Larry Kramer was there & he wrote a play- The Normal Heart, which I have a bit of history with.
The Normal Heart, which is currently on Broadway, on the high holy day of Tony Award night, won for Best Revival of a Play, along with Best Supporting Actor & Actress for John Benjamin Hickey & Ellen Barkin. Kramer was on stage to accept the award with the producers: “To gay people everywhere, whom I love so dearly, The Normal Heart is our history. I could not have written it had not so many needlessly died. Learn from it & carry on the fight. Let them know that we are a very special people, an exceptional people, & that, our day will come.”
Here is my story with my link to Larry Kramer & The Normal Heart:The Normal Heart, which is currently on Broadway, on the high holy day of Tony Award night, won for Best Revival of a Play, along with Best Supporting Actor & Actress for John Benjamin Hickey & Ellen Barkin. Kramer was on stage to accept the award with the producers: “To gay people everywhere, whom I love so dearly, The Normal Heart is our history. I could not have written it had not so many needlessly died. Learn from it & carry on the fight. Let them know that we are a very special people, an exceptional people, & that, our day will come.”
Despite my reputation as a hedonist, a fellow known to swig & smoke & swallow substances to feel better, forget, or lose myself; I have never performed while anything less than stone cold sober. As an actor & a singer I was always clean as a whistle, had my homework done, was prompt for rehearsals & performances, & made it a point to get along with the cast & crew.
I had done a lot of work, a lot of good work, sometimes with some troublesome behavior swirling around me, at the now defunct- Pioneer Square Theatre in the 1980s. I was not completely surprised, but still thrilled, when the artistic director & the managing director told me that they had seen a production of Larry Kramer’s The Normal Heart in London, & that they had secured the rights for the 1st Seattle production with me in mind for the role of Ned Weeks (the stand in for Kramer himself). I had already read the play & I was very intrigued with the idea of playing someone so close to my own personality. I usually was chosen for roles that were not anything like the real me. It was a breathtakingly good role in a powerful play. I never assumed for even a moment that the role was sewn up. I worked especially hard at the audition & call back, but I had a different kind of confidence, knowing that it was originally chosen with me in mind.
I didn’t get the part. I never portrayed Ned Weeks, a role on paper that haunted me with the likeness to my own psyche.
The role went to the artistic director himself, a straight man, who must have realized how juicy the character was. I was offered another role & was told- “you are much too good for the part, but we would still like you to be a part of this project.” I should have been a better man & a better actor; I turned down the smaller role.
I had an inner dialogue congratulating myself on dealing with my dreams being dashed in such a mature way. I never shed a tear or had a regret. I wished them all well & moved on. I had read a week’s worth of press before the opening & didn’t flinch with a sadness for opportunities lost. But, on the afternoon of the opening of The Normal Heart… I broke out in a serious case of the hives. Every inch of my body covered in welts & rashes. 6 weeks of bottling up my feelings & putting on my proud face took a toll on my body & I was a mess. I finally cried. I would never be Ned Weeks. The Husband: “The body is a powerful thing. Yours in giving you a really strong message.”
Larry Kramer was an accidental leader, thrown into action during the 1st days of the AIDS epidemic when his friends began getting infected. Kramer: "I was just a New York faggot like everyone else who was gay then. I didn't march in Pride. We used to be at Fire Island & make fun of all that." Kramer is an immensely accomplished playwright, screenwriter, novelist, & journalist. Kramer described himself as a shy person who "gets nervous when I'm away from my computer." He was nominated for a Tony for The Normal Heart, won an Obie Award for his 1993 play The Destiny of Me (also a runner-up for the Pulitzer Prize), & his screenplay for the film Women in Love was nominated for an Academy Award in 1969.
Larry Kramer's Faggots has been in print since its original publication in 1978. It has become one of the best-selling novels about gay life ever written. The book is a fierce satire of the gay ghetto & a touching story of a man's desperate search for love. I guess little has changed since 1978. Celebrated & reviled, this gay classic is not for the faint of heart. It is a harsh, fascinating look at the excesses of a generation that couldn't hear the bell tolling over the disco beat.
As AIDS threatened the lives of his friends, & fueled by fear & anger at the government for ignoring the epidemic, Kramer co-founded Gay Men's Health Crisis, the first & world's largest service provider to people with AIDS, in 1981. Frustrated by that organization's non-confrontational nature, he launched the AIDS Coalition to Unleash Power-ACT UP in 1987, leading a grassroots effort for the approval process for drugs to treat AIDS. At its height from the late1980s to the mid 1990s, ACT UP boasted 140 chapters nationwide.
He is a powerful & profound writer & a real crank. Kramer: "You do not get more with honey than with vinegar. You get it by being harsh & demanding and in-your-face – constantly. We're all anxious to have everyone love us. It's difficult to maintain that if you have strong opinions."
Larry Kramer lives in NYC & in a country house in Connecticut, with David Webster, an architect, & the man for whom Mr. Kramer has waited 17 years. The pair met in the late 1960's & dated in the 1970s, but spent the 1980's apart.. Webster came back into Kramer's life in the 1990's, HIV negative & ready to live out his life with Kramer. The effect he has had on Kramer is said to be palpable, the calm that comes with finally being seen, finally being heard, & finally being loved.
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