Strollin'

Okay, so the appropriate amount of respecty time has passed and now I can talk to you about what happened... or rather... what is happening. I didn't want to detract from the importance of Remembrance Day, so I've been holding this in and thinking about it. Super hard thinking.

I saw something happen in a crowd. Something I didn't expect to see happen.

I was at the National Remembrance Day Ceremony on Nov 11, you see, in a crowd of 30,000 people to show my respect to our veterans and soldiers when something wheeled past me. What was it, you ask? Was it a cart full of delicious bratwurst sausages? Noooooo. Someone selling nice warm Canadian-made winter hats? Noooooo. Stephen Harper on a moped? Noooooo. What was it, Chelle? Was it one of those little cars that pops out clowns faster than Michelle Duggar's uterus? Nope. Almost... but nope.

This:

squeak squeak mew

I only had a moment to capture this. So I acted fast, nonchalantly pointing my camera at it and I caught this image. Carpe diem, you guys. One fleeting moment as the stroller squeaked past me, making its way through the crowd of 30,000 Remembrance Day patrons. Odd. I had to be sleuthy because someone who brings their cat to Remembrance Day is someone you don't want to perturb. Plus, that cat looks grumpy and kind of bite-y. Cats are not known to appreciate large crowds while tied to a stroller. I wouldn't want to upset it and have it meet its demise, tangled up in the wheels of the stroller or attaching itself to the face of one of our attending ambassadors. No indeed.

So what gives? What if it's a bodyguard cat? Not everyone can afford a Siberian white tiger, or a panther (we can't all be Sigfried & Roy) so maybe they have to make do by putting their regular cat in a stroller in hopes that people just back off. People did kind of avoid the man and give the strolling cat some extra space. More space in fact, than was given to the old ladies with walkers. Yeeeeah.... suspicious.

Right there.

Just to clarify, that's a cat stroller. It's a cat riding in a cat stroller. Correct, you guys? I'm right; it is. I'm not crazy, right? I am seeing a giant silver cat in that stroller, not an unfortunate looking, hairy child. It's a cat in a stroller, I repeat: It is a feline in a pram. A catpram, if you will allow. Cat Strolling. I want to drive this in; make sure you're getting this. Tell me that you see it. TELL ME you see it! Kittywheeler. SAY. IT, DAMMIT. SAY CAT-PRAM! I'll wait.....

Are we good? Okay. Moving on...

What is happening to our world? There are people in this world who actually have no means to move themselves and here we are buying strollers for our cats. Really. You know what's going to happen now though, right? I'm going to get flamed. This is the internet and one of you has one of these things, don't you? Of course you do. Only internet people would have a cat stroller. ONLY internet people and villains. You can admit it. You wheel your cat around in large crowds. We're all friends here, it's a totally safe environment in which to talk about this. For real. I need information about this because upon closer inspection, when I was carefully studying this photo at home, I noticed a little label on the cat-pram. The label reads, "Therapy Cat". Yes it does. Look:

There is a connection.

Therapy Cat? This cat is a therapist cat. What kind of therapist cat? Like... occupational therapist? Massage therapist? physiotherapist? Speech therapist? Life coach? I am feeling like this might be a scam because everyone knows that cats are really just assholes. I have two of them, both assholes.

See? A close-up of the photo reveals that this cat is not a therapist at all. Forensics, you guys. Forensics.

So like.. did they train this cat to be a therapy cat? Because I'm pretty sure that you can't train a cat. A cat does whatever it feels like at all times. You can train it for 8 straight years to use its litter box or toilet or whatever, but one day your cat is going to feel like pooping on your bed without warning or reason- and it will. You mark my words, it will poop on your bed.

After that it will never poop on your bed again, because it doesn't have to. It knows that you now live in fear and that is enough for the cat's satisfaction. You are psychologically owned, that is the arrangement. No therapy- ha! There is no therapy. So what is this cat doing pretending it's a therapist? Huh? Who does it think it's fooling? Not me, because I have figured this out, you guys. I am quick on the shutter and fast to wrap this up:

Obviously Dr Claw has moved into my city and it's up to me and my niece, Penny to stop him. Go GO Gadget camperized... transam? I don't have one of those....The minivan will have to do.
GO GO GADGET MINI...
Eh. Maybe I'll just pretend I didn't see the cat in the stroller after all... But I did see a dog in a stroller at a sushi restaurant in Las Vegas last year (but that's Vegas, it was still one of the least unnatural things that I saw in Vegas.)