Saturday, April 21, 2007

Were You Ever a Kid???

My husband and I are in a heated debate... no, it is not the Economics versus Hormones debate, this debate is much more critical to the pleasant atmosphere that permeates the air in our loving home.

Should we or should we not buy our little 3 year old a sandbox.

For weeks now I have been waiting for the warm weather to come so that I could go to Toys R Us to buy a sandbox. I love sandboxes. They are hours of cheap entertainment for kids of all ages. Our little one is at the stage where she no longer wants to play inside where I am, she wants to run free in the warmth of the outdoors every waking hour of the day. She will beg and bribe-she even told me the other day "Mommy, I will give you a penny if you let me go outside." She is a smart cookie. I figure if I have a sandbox, I can at least keep her in the backyard.

I have not shared my plan of getting a sandbox with my husband because frankly, he is no fun. Seriously-I can only assume that he never had any fun as a child and therefore does not know what it is like to feel the cool sand of a sandbox between your little toes, or the thrill it is to dump and pour sand for hours and hours.

He always veto's my brilliant ideas!

"Let's get a TRAMPOLINE!"
"NO... too dangerous! Our kids will break their arm, or worse, the neighbor's kid will break his arm and they will sue us and we will lose everything and become homeless."

"Let's get a POOL!"
"NO... do you know how much upkeep a pool is? I don't have time to go to work so that you can stay home and live the life of a princess and also take care of a pool."

"Let's buy another PUPPY!"
"No... the dog we already have stinks and a puppy will pee on the carpet and poo everywhere and I will have to spend more money to have the carpets shampooed each month."

"Let's have another BABY!"
"NO!"
"You are right... what was I thinking?"

This morning I briefly mentioned that I was planning on taking our little one to Toys R Us and getting a sandbox for her. I mentioned this while Fox News was on and while he was scanning his blackberry in hopes that he would just give me a "Uh-Huh." and life as we know it could carry on as planned. Well, he stopped dead in his tracks and said "We are NOT buying a sandbox!"

Why not? What is the harm in a sandbox? I do not understand his logic. His concern is the mess that will be tracked around the yard and in the house. I on the other hand do not have this concern because I do not see sand being tracked into the house... and if it is tracked in the yard--who gives a crap! Anyway, if sand does come into the house who does he think will clean it up? HIM? Not likely.

Here is the deal. This man of mine gets up every morning and goes off to work. He is surrounded by adults all day and he is able to have conversations that do not involve the words "Mommy, Snack, Little Bear, Can I?, or Wipe ME" all day long. He truly has no idea what happens in this house during the day. He is not aware of the fighting between the two oldest, or the tantrums with the little one. He does not have to drag three children (two that are unhappy that they have to go) on every errand that he has. He also is able to use the toilet without an audience of a dog and a three year old-every stinking time! So... if I need a sandbox for a little sanity around here, well then he better get used to the idea that I am going to buy that sandbox!

My husband also has a condition that I like to refer to as his "Christmas is Cancelled, " or his "sling-shot attitude." He will quickly veto a thought and not only will he say no, he will give a stern warning as to what will happen if the idea is actually carried out. This morning he said "OK, you can buy a sandbox, but we are cancelling the cleaning lady!" HUH? Crazyhusbandsayswhat? Why does he have to hit me where it hurts! I would give up indoor plumbing before I gave up my cleaning lady!

As God is my witness... I will get that sandbox. Childhood fun will prevail in this house if it is the last thing I do! When I was a kid, we were able to run free. We had a pool AND a sandbox. We never had a trampoline, but if we really wanted one I am sure it would have been in our backyard. We had dogs, cats, hamsters, a homing pigeon (yes, I said a homing pigeon), turtles, snakes, tadpoles, frogs, and birds. We ran in and out of our house with boundless energy, slamming the basement door at least 300 times a day without my mom yelling "IN OR OUT!" or "TAKE OFF YOUR SHOES!" or even "PUT SUNSCREEN ON!" We were carefree kids-we drank out of the hose for goodness sake! I want my kids to have the same thing.

Let life be all neat and organized when they are adults. Let kids be kids, stinky dogs be stinky dogs, and let hormonal pregnant women get their way! That is my motto.

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