My Daughter Is Dating... Please Send Money For My Bail

Today I read this:

DELTONA, Fla. - An angry Deltona father whacked his teenage daughter's boyfriend with a metal pipe after finding the boy naked in his daughter's room. Authorities say the father, 45, didn't even know his daughter had a boyfriend or that the youngster had been sneaking into the home for more than a year.
He heard noises coming from his daughter's bedroom Thursday morning and saw a stranger standing naked on the girl's bed, he swung a metal pipe. He then chased the teen out the front door and called police.
The boy was taken to the hospital where doctors closed a head wound with staples.
The father was charged with aggravated battery on a child and bonded out on $10,000.

The father was charged with aggravated battery and bonded out on $10,000???? Huh? Let me get this straight... If I hear something in my house and I go to investigate and I find a naked person jumping on a bed in my house, I am not supposed to go Rambo on their butt? I am not supposed to whack them over the head with a metal pipe? What about a baseball bat? Can I hit them with a baseball bat? Better yet, what about a gun? Can I shoot the naked person who is jumping on a bed in my house if I don't know who they are?

I guess not.

Do you know what would have happened if my father caught this kind of activity going on in my house when my sisters and I were growing up? My father would not have hit the boy over the head, no, he would have strangled the boy and then hit us over the head. We would have never seen the light of day ever again. We would still be in our rooms today, locked away from perverted boys and bad influences. We would eventually be on the news when we finally were able to emerge from our bedrooms at the age of 45 squinting at the sunlight and saying things like "What do you mean Scott Baio is 45 and Single?" and "Now let me get this straight, you can carry around your telephone in your back pocket and talk to anyone around the world for $29.99 a month?"

Parents don't stand a chance today. You can't even bring the shotgun out and threaten a teenager anymore... they'll call the police and you'll be in jail and the teenage boy will be out with your teenage daughter trying to convince her that he loves her and can't live without her... blah blah blah.

They don't scare me... little punks.