I Could Never Date... I Don't Know How To Text.

Carl and I went out with our friends Jim and Trisha Saturday night. After dinner we strolled through the Old Market and ended up at the Upstream Brewery Company. There are two bars in this establishment-one on the main level and one upstairs with the pool tables.

My husband and Jim decided that they wanted to go play some pool so they left Trish and I to fend for ourselves at the downstairs bar. We didn't mind as we were deep in conversation about eyelash tinting and why women should never wear wooden platform shoes with shorts.

At one point the bartender came over and told us that the group of "boys" across the bar would like to buy us a drink. Now, you have to know my friend Trisha before you understand what was about to happen. I was all "OOOOOH! Free Alcohol!" and Trisha was all "WHAT? NO NO NO! DON'T MAKE EYE CONTACT WITH THEM!" As if they were going to strip us down and parade us through the streets of Omaha. My dear friend Trisha is a wound a little tightly, but that is what gives her charm.

So after we rejected the free alcohol (crazy I know) we sat and happily chatted about water bras. The bartender came over to us once again and handed me a napkin. The napkin read:
"It is too loud in here. Here is my ph. # Text Me!"

Part of me was all "Hell YEAH! I still got it baby!" and the other part of me was all "I am so damn old because I do not know how to text! I have never texted in my life!" You do this with a cell phone right? (kidding... I am kidding.)

I was amazed that the art form of picking up a woman had been reduced to this. Now a guy does not even have to get up the nerve to walk over to a girl in a bar, he just sends her a napkin with his phone number for her to text him. Do they ever even talk or do they text from across the bar the entire night? What ever happened to good ol' rejection face to face? No wonder men have become so soft. They need to be shot down a few times before they know how to be a real man.

I thought of all of this when I looked up at my napkin passer and shouted across the bar, "NO THANKS!" I tossed down some cash for my drink and sauntered out of there... feeling like I have helped this young man. His future wife will thank me.