Wednesday, August 8, 2007

We Are Not Alcoholics... We Are Irish!

My nephew Sam was recounting the time when he was at my house and picked up a drink off the counter that he thought was just soda. Imagine his surprise when he took a big swig and realized that there was Captain Morgan mixed in with that soda! Hey, that is what he gets for trying to drink a soda that is not his at Aunt Crissy's house!

He was telling this story to my mom who (surprise surprise) was drinking a beer at the time. Sam asked if he could have a taste of her beer and she obliged thinking that he would not like the taste and therefore never drink again for the rest of his life. She was trying to instill a life lesson here... Irish style.

Sam scrunched up his face and said yuck!" to which my mother was very pleased with herself... that is until she told me this story and I had to add my own two cents.

You see, when we were kids my dad would always ask us to go down to the basement fridge and bring him a beer. When we were little we did this over and over again without thinking about the liquid gold that was inside the can we were transporting. One day I asked if I could have a taste of his beer and my dad handed it to me thinking exactly the same thing my mom was thinking with Sam, "If I let her see how bad this tastes she will never want to drink again for the rest of her life!"

Yeah... that didn't work with me.

Eventually I started opening the can for my dad-as if I was being a good beer transporter-only I opened it so that I could take a swig or two before handing it over to the legal drinker in the house. I would even drink the warm backwashed beer from the bottom of his can when he was finished and I was throwing the can away! Now, that is true love for beer let me tell you.

I started to tell my mom of how my older sister and I would make Fuzzy Navels in the kitchen because the Peach Schnapps was left right on the counter for all to see... and my sister knew how to make a mean Fuzzy Navel.

As I was telling my mom this funny story she says "Mmmm, I love a fuzzy navel" to which I responded, "Me too! It was my favorite childhood drink!"

Now, I don't' want you to think that I had a childhood like Drew Barrymore or anything. I may have had a swig of beer here and there and a Fuzzy Navel or two, but I was not out at the clubs partying. Sure, I spent many a Saturday afternoon with my dad at the local American Legion bar, but they had video games and pretzels on the tables-it was a field trip!

Irish people have special dispensation from being considered alcoholics... it is in the Catechism of the Catholic Church. Look it up if you don't believe me.

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