Downtown Kenton... A Film By David Lynch

This post is a repeat, but I am having a day low on imagination, famous gay people having birthdays or even new music. Will you please forgive me, dear readers? 


I am off to a meeting of The Kenton Neighborhood Association, of which I am seated on the board, a small step on my way to world domination.

Coming home, I get off the MAX train at my neighborhood stop- Denver Avenue/Kenton.  The first thing I encounter, & I mean, this is right at the train station, is Dancin’ Bare, the neighborhood strip joint. Portland has more strips clubs, per capita, than any other American city. I am proud of that statistic. It is a great that a young girl with right charms can make a living while practicing her art.


The sign is special to me because, not only does this business have a name based on a not so clever pun (like so many of Portland’s Thai joints & nail salons), but they spell out the joke for you on the sign? Twice. Funny, huh?


As I cross the street where North Interstate Avenue & North Denver Avenue meet, I am greeted by a giant Paul Bunyon (recently added to the Nation Register of Historic Roadside Landmarks). He was built for a 1959 Lumber Expo held in the neighborhood. I think he is hot. He was recently given a new paint job as part of a new neighborhood street improvement in Kenton’s little downtown, which includes widened sidewalks, a bike lane, street art & new trees & plants.

Miss Darlene

I then cross North Denver Avenue to 7 Bucks a Whack. The Husband & I both get our hair cut here by Darlene. Miss Darlene is in her 70s, with bleached blond hair piled high on her head. She wears a great deal of makeup, painted on brows & wears a satin black tube top & hot pants.


Darlene cuts hair with a cigarette dangling from the corner of her mouth. As she puts on your apron she will announce in a deep cig & beer voice- “…what’ll it be baby? A number 1 buzz cut? You sure got a lot of hair for a bald guy.”  Darlene lives nearby on a houseboat & has been in the neighborhood forever. She will give you a running commentary on the politics in the Kenton neighborhood. Her little dog– Elvis hangs out in the shop & is dressed up in a variety of outfits, including full biker gear. She told the Husband that she likes to have lunch at Dancin' Bare because- "Baby, they got a delicious French Dip for just $5!". I somehow have trouble with Au Jus & stripper poles together. Darleen does my hair, goatee & eyebrows, plus the floor show…. all this for $7(I always give her $15)!

 Other neighborhood highlights include a Victorian mansion that is lit up with outdoor lights all year round, but not at Christmas & the lovely Laundro Mat & The World Famous Kenton Club.

The World Famous Kenton Club with a special claim to fame: a scene from 1970s Roller Derby film- Kansas City Bomber was filmed at the spot.

The Historic Kenton Firehouse

Downtown Kenton had one bar & one cafe- Kenton Station & many boarded up store fronts form the 1920s-1950s when we moved into the neighborhood a decade ago. But the neighborhood now boasts: the MAX line,  BOYS' FORT, a breakfast cafe, a Thai spot, a soul food joint, a coffee shop for mommies & babies, a flower shop, a terrific architectual salvage store, a world class bamboo nursery & bamboo objects emporium, a home brewing outfit, a paper/art supply store, a head shop, liquor store & police station at the same intersection, & an historic firehouse that is now the neighborhood community center & tool library. I even have my own favorite watering hole where I am greeted by name & my cocktail is delivered wiithout having to order- Pizza Fino.

I am including a few other choice pieces of signs, graffiti & a note I found posted at the MAX stop. When I get off the train, I think: “ah, it is great to be home”.