quote of the day

If you removed all of the homosexuals and homosexual influence from what is generally regarded as American culture, you would pretty much be left with "Let's Make a Deal."
Fran Lebowitz

Do I Dazzle You? Pfft... That's A Silly Question.

The other day I received an email from my friend Stacy in Virginia. It seems Stacy and my other friend Beth have been feeling rather sorry for me that my husband is deployed and I am all alone-with no man to watch over me.

The email was rather cryptic-but I knew that they had decided to send me a little gift... something I am sure they found on-line while drunk and ignoring their own husbands.

Well... Saturday I received their package.

I did not even realize that I had a package on my front porch until late in the afternoon. I grabbed a knife and started cutting the tape to this rather large, flat package.

As I pulled the cardboard box apart I saw a pair of shoes staring back at me.

My heart started to flutter and I yelled... no... I screamed for my oldest daughter to come quickly. She ran to me as if I was on fire-that is how urgent my voice sounded, which made me think that the next time I needed her to take her laundry downstairs or needed her to wash the dishes, I just need to scream as if I have fallen and broken a hip and I need her help.

Anyway... I start to open the package and Hope sees the shoes as well and starts to scream. She screamed so loud that I think people in Canada may have heard her. If you are from Canada and reading this blog today-please let me know if you heard Hope and her primal-guttural screams on Saturday.

This is what Stacy and Beth-my wonderful, beer chugging, husband complaining, Twilight freak-loving, cougar friends sent me...

That's right... come to mama. Do you see how he is leaning into me?

Hope has invited all of her friends over to take a picture with Edward Cullen. She has even made the statement that from now on, any picture we take, Edward has to be in it as well. I can't wait to see her prom pictures in 5 years!

So, it has become perfectly clear to me that I have the best friends in the world!

Now, you must know that Edward has cooked dinner with me, watched television with me, folded laundry with me... and I can neither confirm nor deny if he has watched me shower. Ahem.

The first night I had him in the corner of my bedroom and The Ward called me on my web cam and saw a man-a vampire no less-standing in the corner of our bedroom. He calmed down after he found out it was a cardboard cut-out, but he still told my life sized Edward that he had his eye on him and that he better not make any moves on his girl. Sigh-my husband is such a scrapper, I didn't have the heart to tell him that he would not be able to win a fight with a vampire.

When I turned the lights out to go to sleep, I freaked out a little that Edward was standing in the corner of my bedroom watching me sleep... so I moved him into the walk-in closet and apologized for my shyness.

The second night was much better and he has not moved from his post-watching over me. He will stay there until August when The Ward comes home and then I will move him into Hope's room-but promise to visit him every day.

Stacy told me that Beth's concern was whether or not he would fit in my bed.

I was shocked at her insinuation...

Of course he would fit in my bed, come hell or high water, he would fit in my bed. He is a little stiff... but hey... I ain't complaining.

giggle.

Humor is the Shortcut to a Monday Swoon...

Apparently Martin Merrill thinks that the sure-fire way for a man to hook a woman is to make her laugh.

Hmmm... I would have to agree. Laughter is a big turn on, and if you have a man that can make you laugh... well you know what it is like to smile from the inside out.

So... because it is Monday and Mondays are of the utmost importance at the Six-Pack, I have decided to give you a few men that will make you laugh your little butts off-and in return make you want to run away with them and laugh for the rest of your life. Enjoy the smiles ladies!

You know I had to start this off with Jim Carrey. C'mon-you know you can't help but swoon over him...

“My report card always said, 'Jim finishes first and then disrupts the other students'.”

Mercy...

I have had Craig Ferguson this here blog before. He makes me giggle and laugh my cookies off. If you have never seen the Late Late Show-well you are missing out. Set your alarm if you have to and at least watch his monologue-his accent alone will keep you coming back every night.

"I don't like the whole blowing the candles out ritual... blowing their germs all over the cake. If I want to catch something on my birthday. I don't want it to be from the cake. If you know what I’m saying... "

Oh, I know what you're sayin' Craig.

Sure, Ben Stiller is the size of an average 10 year old boy... but have you seen the guns on this guy? The guns and the laughs-that is what is is all about ladies... oh, and his eyes.

Frank and Beans... need I say more?

Ahhh, Peter Cook... sure he didn't make it as far as Dudley Moore, but I think he was a hoot. If you don't believe me-go rent Bedazzled (no, not the one with Elizabeth Hurley) and see for yourself.

And if you still don't know who the hell Peter Cook is, for goodness sake think of the movie The Princess Bride and try and recall the impressive clergyman--the one with a speech impediment. Yeah-that is him.

Conan O'Brien is the tallest leprechaun in the world-and he is the funniest as well! Of course he is funny... he is Irish.

Wanna laugh? Go here.

Kevin James is hands down one of the funniest guys around... so that makes him absolutely 100% swoon worthy. My little sister (who is bea-u-tiful) always said that if she met Kevin James she would marry him. Too bad for Kevin she is already married-to a pretty funny guy. Poor Kevin James... he doesn't know what he could have had.

Just look at him... he'd wear ya out just laughing at his jokes. What a way to get tired!

Oh Chevy-you are so funny and hot that they not only named a town after you, but also a bank! Wow! Now that is some serious swoon-abilities.

... and I don't know about you, but every time I see my husband pick up his golf clubs to head out to the course, I can't help but think to myself "nanananananana."

Ah, Adam Sandler. I liked him more when he was younger and singing songs like "Lunch Lady" and "Grow Old With You"

Do you see his t-shirt? That is his wife and daughter... yeah-swoon!

Plus... Happy Gilmore is probably one of the funniest movies of all time. Amen.

I saved the best for last... if you don't know who this bloke is-well... I feel sorry for you. Think Shaun of the Dead. Think Hot Fuzz. Think Spaced-although you probably don't know that one because it is a Bri-ish television show... but if you come across it, WATCH IT! Think Run Fat Boy Run (which is so damn funny that I about pee'd myself)

Ladies... I give you the biggest swoon for this Monday. I can't help but love him-the cheeky bugger... Simon Pegg!

He doesn't look like much, but I promise, you will be glad I introduced him to you.

And... AND... I was at a movie this past weekend and saw the preview for the new Star Trek movie and guess who is playing Scotty? That's right... Simon Swoon Pegg.

And for those ladies out there who are the funny ones in the marriage and may or may not have a husband that may or may not laugh at any of your HILARIOUS jokes and stunts... this one is for you:

Good God Above... look at that man's thighs! You know... on second thought-do you really care if he laughs at your jokes?

Yeah... me neither.

Happy Monday!

I popped a Woody!

The husband & I settled in on Friday night to choose a movie from “On Demand” on the evil Comcast. I was surprised by how many choices that we both actually wanted to see. We opted for Vicki Cristina Barcelona because I am a huge Woody Allen fan.
(I just used huge & woody in sentence!). I had wanted to see it when it was first out. The husband tends to really like Woody Allen movies with no Woody Allen (he tires of Mr. Allen’s mannerism, cadence & tics). I know that the husband counts The Purple Rose of Cairo, Radio Days, & Bullets Over Broadway among his all time top favorites movies. While I do concur, I would have to add that Annie Hall is in my top 5 All Time Favorite Films.
Sometimes you see a film that just strikes like a lightning bolt as you recognize yourself & your life up on that screen. Annie Hall was like that for me. I was living in NYC when it was filmed & released. I actually saw it at Carnegie Hall Cinema. I was a WASP from the West Coast in a relationship with an intellectual, whip smart, neurotic Jewish New Yorker who was in therapy. We met “cute”, got together, fell in love, & then proceeded to let our quirks & our fundamental differences unravel our love affair until- “what we have here is a dead shark”. His name was Steven Rosenblatt. Steven was a true New Yorker with no real desire to ever leave the 5 boroughs. One day we walked from The Cloisters to The Battery. We talked the whole way about life & art & love & sex & movies & music & philosphy. He also gave me a famous writers tour of New York including Truman Capote’s house in Brooklyn Heights & a stop at the White Horse Tavern. I hope he reads this somehow.
Is it crazy that still I identify with Diane Keaton (minus Warren Beatty & an Oscar)?
Vicki Cristina Barcelona gave me that same lightning bolt. I think it is a very fine film (one of his best). It features a bevy of fine performances including yummy Javier Bardem & I feel that Penelope Cruz really deserved that Oscar. It is a witty and ambiguous movie that's simultaneously intoxicating & filled with sadness & doubt. It carries an air of melancholy & a sense of loss. I know Woody Allen admires the films of Bergman (Interiors) & I felt the film had a nod to Smiles Of The Summer Night.
Here was another Woody Allen movie that spoke to me personally & mirrored my own life in so many ways that I actually felt quite uncomfortable for a moment while watching it. The themes of what makes a marriage, trying to have a 3 way love affair, loving art & artists, crazy EXs that are still in your life, & most resonate for me- how can I be an artist when faced with friends & lovers who are major talents (when I feel like a dilettante)?

Spare the Rod... Spoil the Child

A 14 year old Trenton New Jersey girl has been arrested for posting nude pictures of herself on her myspace page. What are the charges? Child Pornography. What are the consequences? She may have to register as a sex-offender for the rest of her life. Who is to blame? Mom and Dad.

Wake up Mom and Dad! Are you serious? Your daughter just posted 30 nude pictures of herself so that her boyfriend could view them. What are you gonna do now... and whatever it is... are you too late?

Wanna know what my dad would have done? He would have beat my ass-that is what.

When I was a kid, I feared many things. One of those things was my father. I knew that if I even thought of doing something so obscenely wrong, my world would have been annihilated by the one man who was trying to get me through adolescents with as few scrapes and bruises possible.

Did I think he was unfair? Yes. Did I think he was uncool? Yes.

Did he give a rats ass if I thought he was a tyrant whose soul purpose in life was to ruin my social standing? Nope.

What is it with kids today? Sure, you could blame the Internet, television, movies, and music... but who allows them free access to these things? Mom and Dad.

How about setting some standards in your home-we all know what standards are right? They are RULES. We have rules in our house-and one of them is a wooden spoon.

My son knows the wooden spoon very well-heck, it even took up residence above his bedroom door for a few years.

I love when critics of "spanking" and "discipline" call this corporal punishment. There are all kinds of "studies" out there that show spanking to be the cause of alcoholism, anxiety, depression and drug abuse blah blah blah... Hmmm-I wonder where the studies are for the kids who weren't disciplined and were allowed to walk all over mom and dad and be "independent" and a "free spirit" during those precious childhood years. Oh wait... I think we may be able to look at that 14 year old girl at the top of this post and figure that one out.

As for my relationship with my father-it is great. He and I are extremely close and I am thankful that my mom and dad took on the job of parenting seriously. I can honestly say that I would not be here today if it were not for my parents and their strong discipline.

Did I think it was unfair that I was only allowed to go out one night of the weekend? Yes.

Did I think it was unfair when my father would pick up the other end of the phone after only 10 minutes of talking to a friend and say "Time to get off the phone... now"? Yes.

Did I think it was unfair that I couldn't date a boy until I was a sophomore in high school and on my first date my dad followed us the entire night in his car? Yes.

Did I eventually stop getting asked out on dates because I had a great big father who made teenage boys squirm by simply looking at them? Yes.

Now, I am not saying I was the perfect child-ha! Far from it... but the amount of trouble I did get into in no way compares to the amount of trouble I could have gotten into if I did not have parents who were willing to make me tow the line.

So stop being selfish parents! The first job you have is to get your kids through life in a loving and fair way. This is the job we have been handed... if you aren't going to do your job-then I don't want my kid hanging out with your kid and I will have no problem telling you why.

So Wake Up before you find your daughter's "real" myspace page (not the fake one she told you about and gave you the password to so that you can be fooled into thinking she is still best friends with her kindergarten buddy and still wears ribbons in her hair) or before you are taking your son to the doctor because he has a mysterious rash that won't go away.

They may hate you for it now... but one day they will thank you for standing up for their life.

Oh-and don't forget to PRAY!!!

wash, rinse, dry & buff

Michigan Man Sentenced to 90 Days in Prison for Sex Act With Car Wash Vacuum

29 year old, Jason Leroy Savage was caught by police performing a sex act with a car wash vacuum has been sentenced to 90 days in prison. Savage pleaded no contest to indecent exposure in the Saginaw County Courts.


From Sozo's Blog

noro-virus recovery part 2

It was a beautiful, cool, but sunny day today & I had the enviable task of cleaning up dog poop in the back yard. This is usually one of my household jobs. I don't know if you heard, but I'VE BEEN SICK. I am thankful that we have little terriers with very polite turds. These are difficult times & I was hoping to find some cash while I was doing popper scooper duty.

time on my hands

I have had a little flurry of posts this week. I have been out from work after a nasty bout of a little bug called: noro-virus. I was a text book case: http://www.cdc.gov/ncidod/dvrd/revb/gastro/norovirus.htm

It started suddenly, I then vomited for 50 hours & then the little bugger slowly worked itself out of my hot, hairy, slightly bearish body. I work in a food business & wasn't allowed to return to work because it remains contagious after the symptoms are gone. Thanks HR!

I spent more time than usual on the internet & visited one of my favorite sites that I had not taken a peek at in a while. The site reviews the sets & decore of porn shoots.

But, this has to be my favorite new site. Your Logo Makes Me Barf is a Web site dedicated to the ridicule and embarrassment of clip art crazy, MS Paint loving designers who've crafted some barf-worthy logos. You can usually find these logos in ads that run in the Yellowpages & sometimes the cheapo, tiny ads in newspapers or uber- shitty Web sites that share info on home repair businesses.

http://www.yourlogomakesmebarf.com/ brings attention to LOGO atrocities.

I have a life long interest in fonts, type faces & corporate logos & I had a fun bit of time on this site! It seemed appropriate after 2+ days of throwing up!

the trouble with twitter

I gave it a try... I really did. I love new technology. I surf the net, I Email, I Facebook, I have a BLOG...oh, you know that. Even the husband tried it but instead of twittering, he twatted.
This is hysterical & it is even better when you are stoned.
"Twittering is randomly bragging about your unexceptional life."

Teenage. Space. Vampires.

Nothing like being lulled to sleep by the soothing plot of TEENAGE SPACE VAMPIRES. It was really fantastic enough to warrant photos.


Thank you, cable, for being so awesome.


The opening sequence features weapon yielding oversized yard gnomes. Just like the yard gnomes I like to display here in Suburbia.


Oh 30 year old women Teenage girls with skanky roots... what will hApPeN to you???????? Surely nothing.


These are the shots that I like to go back and forth over superfast with my eyes. Not evil.. EVIL... NOT evil... EVIL........NOT eviiiiiiiiilllllll...... EVIL. They should have known their history teacher was a Space Vampire. Just look at those cheekbones. Stupid regular 30 year olds teenagers.


Cool pants, Mr Space Vampire. He could totally star in Xanadu. Take that Olivia Newton John.


A SMOKING SPACE OWL OUTSIDE MY BEDROOM?!?! SWEET. MERCIFUL. CRAP. Something is definitely amiss!


Gee, Mr UFO investigator I'm just here to check your shiz/DRINK YOUR BLOOD AND GIVE YOU SPACE TEETH. MWahahahahahaahahahahahahahahaha!!!! Give me the diamond!


This is the part where the wine kicked in and I drifted off to blissful sleep, drooling into my armpit until SpaceVampireNeil woke me up.

So concludes my television photojournalism.

You're welcome, World.

"Sex on television can't hurt you... unless you fall off."

I am not a big television watcher. I am not sure why... I used to love to watch TV, but then I had a big strong husband to sit next to on the couch and make him crazy with all of my comments and questions about what we were watching. It is not fun to watch anything now-especially since my children have inherited my keen sense of humor and drive me up the wall with their comments and questions about what we are watching.

If I do watch anything, I do it late at night on my laptop at hulu.com, and actually... the mere fact that the television in the family room blew up yesterday and no one has even noticed it's departure proves the point that my children would rather follow me around the house making me want to stick my head in the oven than watch some boring old television program.

Besides, I find Christopher Walken's twitter page much more entertaining than most shows on television today.

But... I am devoted to a few programs. The first being The Office... how can anyone NOT be devoted to this? The second is Life-I love Charlie Crews and I love cop shows. I blame NYPD Blue for this... or maybe Hill Street Blues? Miami Vice? My mother would have to blame The Rockford Files.

I have a new show that I started watching just the other day. It has everything a wife of a deployed husband would want... firemen, firemen, and uhm... firemen. It is Rescue Me. I am on the first season still and working my way through each night after the kids are in bed. If you have not seen it-check it out... just know that there are firemen and sex involved. Have fun. Oh, and don't watch this little video if you are mad at your husband-actually, maybe you should... eh-maybe you shouldn't. I'll leave it up to you-but remember... it is Lent.





My last program that I am devoted to has been on hiatus for an eternity-so long so that I even cancelled Showtime and told you-my wonderful Six-Packers-to alert me when this show was coming back on so that I could call the cable company and get Showtime again.

Well... today I received an email from my true-blue friend Beth from Virginia. Long ago I insisted that Beth watch The Tudors... and she did-oh boy did she. Now she is just as devoted to this program as I am. She also loves Edward Cullen, Nickelback, beer, and her husband drives a hog. How could she NOT be my friend?

So any of you out there who have been waiting forEVER to see Season 3 of The Tudors, you will be happy to know that the season premier is Sunday April 5. If you have never watched this series... well, you have a little over a week to catch yourself up. Good luck.





Now... if anyone has Herman Woulks War and Remembrance (after Winds of War) not Winds of War, The Ward would be eternally grateful if you sent it out to him. I would really appreciate it if I could find him this to watch out there so that when he comes home I do not have to sit on the couch and watch it with him.


Believe me... I have watched enough of his favorite shows like The Waltons and The Andy Griffith Show to know that I don't think I want to watch this one that he is requesting.


Oh-I am sure it is wonderful and I would love it... but I can tell you right now that I would have too many questions-requesting back stories and the history or every last detail so much so that this miniseries would not be conducive to our marriage.


Trust me.


So if you can hook The Ward up-I'd appreciate it! Now if you'll excuse me... I have to go be Rescued.

How to be more like me in just 20 seconds.

-Put your baby onto her happypotty.

-Don't realize that she has peed in it.

-Have her stand up and dump half of the pee onto your leg

-Have the realization that there was, in fact, pee in that happypotty.

-Get up to take remaining happypotty contents to dump out while complaining/rejoicing at the baby for a job well done.

-Get leg caught on the baby gate while complaining/rejoicing/moving toward toilet with happypotty half full of pee. Continue toward the toilet anyway.

-Take a large, slow motion step, keeping your other leg firmly attached to the top of the baby gate.

-Trip, while watching the contents of the potty fly into the air, flip around twice and land directly onto the cut you got from the baby gate while your older child jumps around you, wildly hollering, "EMERGENCY ALERT! EMERGENCY ALERT!".

Now excuse me, I'm going to go watch Xanadu. Don't judge me.

Catching Up With The Cleaver Kids...

Today was report card day... I officially have two children who have always thought that they were smarter than me who now have the documentation to prove it, and one five year old whose teacher complains that she is still not making perfect letters and numbers and for the love of all things holy she colors out of the lines!

The baby has decided to carry the bathroom stool with her everywhere she goes. She can now reach the knife drawer, the powder laundry soap, my beer bottle on the counter and the dog's Valium. Joy.

The television downstairs-which is the television that kept my children occupied from 7 pm to 8:30 pm every night-just blew up. Well, it didn't really blow up... it was more of a poof and then a smell of burnt plastic wafting in the air. Now I will never get any peace around here. Fabulous.

There is a smell of dead animal in my kitchen that I cannot find. I have cleaned, scrubbed, bleached and sanitized everything in sight. I have smelled every cabinet, drain, nook and cranny in the place... I finally figured out it was the dog's food. I had started adding warm water to her hard food to soften it up because she is getting up there in dog years and I wanted to be nice. Well... not anymore because her food started to smell like the soggy behind of a goat.

The five year old decided to see what chap stick would look like on a wall. It looks like chap stick smeared on a wall that is what.

The baby has learned to say "Help Me! Help Me! Help Me!" over and over again-for every instance imaginable-everywhere we go. Child protective services should be here by morning.

I saw the five year old looking very guilty earlier and asked her what she was doing. She looked at me and said "Nothing illegal." Where does she come up with this stuff?

My son has this fascination with pens. He collects them and trades them at school with other weird 11 year old boys. I don't ask questions-I just pay for the therapy bills. Anyway-he left a red pen in his pocket and it went through the wash and the dryer... marking up all the clothes that were in the load and turning the inside of the dryer a tie-dyed pink. His response when he saw my head exploding while I was holding the guilty pen? "My favorite pen! What did you do to it mom!?" Military school is looking more and more appealing.

I just found 9 glasses, 3 plates, 5 forks and 6 spoons in my oldest daughter's room. She is obviously running a restaurant out of her bedroom... how else would you explain those things in there?

Why do children need a snack 5 minutes after dinner... and what does it really mean when the five year old says "But I am starving and I am going to DIE!" is she really going to die or is it me that is not going to survive her childhood? I just don't know.

Pride 2009

Those close to me know that I have a deep interest in Gay History & that I collect early (1860-1960) photos of men being affectionate with each other.
I am WOWed over by this video by Jon Gilbert Leavitt and Kevin Hannan. Amazing & moving.

Let's not lose focus.

Gratuitous cuteness of the day.

Oh Eleanore.

:)

And Yet... He Loves You More

On Sunday night I took the kids to a move, while there we saw the preview for Disney's new documentary on the earth. I sat and watched the preview in awe-not in awe of Disney, but in awe of God.

We go through life so selfish don't we? Thinking of our own daily schedules of who, what, where, when... but how often do we stop and look at the big picture? The picture that goes beyond our own small circle in all that God has given to us?





I am humbled by His love. If you do anything today, do this... stop. Stand still. Open your heart to what He has Created.

Give Thanks!

Lemons. Gams. Lying to people. Stuff like that.

It's almost time for boot camp again, y'all. I never say y'all. Why did I type that? Oh well. No going back now. So I get to go back to the gym 3 times a week for 6:00am sharp starting on Monday to be brutalized with a pilates ball & kettle bells by Dale. Well his name's Andrew, but I prefer to degrade him by calling him Dale. Think of how tough I am, y'all. Not really, although I do have some power in my gams. You just can't tell unless I'm kicking you in the throat.

So ya. I'm pretty stoked about that.

Anyhow, here is the deal. I didn't start running, okay? Instead, I wrote lots of blogs and learned how to use twitter. I was supposed to really get down to business with becoming a runner last week but I crapped out bigtime. TV was pretty mediocre, so I watched a lot of that. Even though survivor wasn't on... or was it? Who can tell anymore? I spent my month off of boot camp reading running magazines & websites, internet shoe shopping, deciding if I should buy some lululemon pants so that I can at least FOOL everyone into thinking that I've been running. Y'know... throw on some blush and strategically spray water at the back of my shirt & arm pits, then pant and buy vitamin water while pretending not to hear anyone because my ipod is turned up pretty loud. "WHAT? THAT'S AN AWFUL LOT OF MONEY FOR STUPID VITAMIN WATER THAT ISN'T EVEN GOOD FOR YOU ACCORDING TO SEVERAL REPUTABLE STUDIES. SCREW THAT, I'LL QUENCH MYSELF WITH SWEAT BECAUSE I'M PRETTY HARDCORE AS YOU MAY BE ABLE TO SEE.."is what I'd say over my motivational running music, then throw the bottle at Bill who works around the corner at the Quikee Mart. But the joke is on them because I'd only have Neil's ipod headphones and no ipod at ALL. (Because I don't even have an ipod.. poor me, eh?) Then I'd say something like, "Gotta JET" and then bound around the corner to my car and go to Chapters for a pumpkin latte and some cookies. So I didn't get the pants.

The other option is to get some pants at Costco and tell everyone they're lululemon. As if they'd even know. I'm a pretty crafty person.

Did I even tell you guys how I KNOW about lululemon? WELL. I was on this airplane once, and strangers tend to feel like they should drop their entire sordid pasts on me during flights. I have that trustworthy face or something... or I always get stuck with the senile, talkative folks... or it could be all the torturing supplies that I bring with me on flights. Anyhow, I was sitting next to this 80something year old woman who told me her entire life history, including how she took a bus to Tijuana with some of her girlfriends when she was younger. Anyhow, they stayed drunk pretty much the whole time and she ran away with the bus driver who was her best friend's boyfriend. SO I told her how I kinda like Abba and that I was wearing men's underpants. Then she told me that I would LOVE Lululemon and I was all... "Hmmm..... she sounds like she knows what she's talking about". But I never did check it out or go in the store. I just noticed that other people are all about this stuff and kinda feel a little inadequate sometimes for not having any lululemon of my very own. But then my anarchist side kicks in and says, "FIGHT THE POWER" and I wouldn't be seen dead in it.

I'm going to write luluLIME on my Costco pants with a bleach pen now. I'm so punk, man.

Quote Of The Day

"I don't care what is written about me so long as it isn't true."
Dorothy Parker (1893 - 1967)

Dorothy Parker was an American writer and poet, best known for her caustic wit, wisecracks, and sharp eye for 20th century urban foibles.
From a conflicted and unhappy childhood, Parker rose to acclaim, both for her literary output in such venues as The New Yorker and as a founding member of the Algonquin Round Table, a group she later disdained. Following the breakup of that circle, Parker traveled to Hollywood to pursue screenwriting. Her successes there, including two Academy Award nominations, were curtailed as her involvement in left-wing politics led to a place on the infamous Hollywood blacklist.
Parker survived three marriages (two to the same man) and several suicide attempts, but grew increasingly dependent on alcohol. Dismissive of her own talents, she deplored her reputation as a "wisecracker". Nevertheless, her literary output and her sparkling wit have endured.

Peter Piper Smoked A Pack of Pickled People.

Neil made us some soup. Soup with hot pickled peppers in it. Here is Mr Romantical Tough guy opening the jar (I swooned a couple of times during the whole process). It is my job to observe and not interfere with nature, so I photographed it silently and motionlessly so that I wouldn't scare the timid creature off. Well... I got a little carried away & offered to open the jar, but he snapped at me. *snap snap snap*. So now I have a severed arm. Apparently it is not okay to intervene in these sacred manlyhood-proving exhibitions. I broke the code of nature observers so I deserved it.

Gnuh

Gnneeeeeeeruh

(expletive deleted)

This hot WATER will do it.

Gaaah

Neil gets the label off finally.

*snicker*/Yaaaay!

Gnrrrhhhhhhhhh

Are you blogging this?

Yes. This is absolutely going on the internets.

Is everyone enjoying Neil's communism rocks shirt?

YaaaaAAAaaY! We'll eat today after Neil stops backwashing in the hot pickle jar.

There. A slice of life.